Envious

[NIKI 28]

I know everyone is going to have their opionions and I am so open to suggestions. I'm just not really having a great year already which it seems. Anyways like I said before, I am a single mother who had to move to another state to live with my mother so I can get myself togeter. Well.......I am 28 years old with tore up credit, can't get a house/decent apartment if I wanted to or a car.

 

I talk to one of my cousins who has never had male problems and when she did another guy was waiting to snatch her up, so she has always had help. The first guy put her in a big house in LA and the second guy was married, but he got a divorce and now is going to marry her. I am sooooooooo jealous I don't want to even lie and I know it's a sin. Here it is I've never dated a married guy because I KNEW it was a sin and then I never aborted my child, but yet in still my cell phone is cut off and I can't even pay for my medications.

 

I am just so out done right now and I know people are going to say this sounds selfish well I don't care because I'm hurting right now because I want to know when is my time going to come. I don't want to be envious of my cousin, but I'm not bad looking, keep me and my son up, very intelligent and I just keep getting the end of the stick and personally I"M TIRED!!!

[norajane]

It sounds like you are hoping for a man to save you from your financial and other problems? That's a foolish road to go down, because if he leaves you, or ends up abusing you or cheating on you, you are stuck - you don't even have yourself to rely on.

 

You are going down the right path to clean up your act and get your life together. Once you have done that and can breath easier, you can find a partner who will complement you, not one who you have to hang onto for dear life because you can't make it on your own.

[NIKI 28]

Thanks for your reply Norajane. I don't want you to get me wrong, now.....I can hold it down but I also believe when it's two of you things can get down more. Are you a single mother?? I know sometimes when people haven't been through what I have, they seem to give advice about something they totally have no idea about.

 

It just seem like no one understands me, so never mind.

Thanks again

[quankanne]

niki – you must be at one really crappy crossroads in your life, because I know it takes a lot for someone who tries her/his hardest to keep things going to voice these kind of feelings.

 

just keep the faith that your day is going to come, and it will be a time of joy. Maybe it won't happen as quickly as you like, but that's not so important – you hanging on to the hope of that promise is.

 

no telling why some people have the kind of luck your cousin – or someone like Phill, my friend from college – does, but I imagine they have their own private demons to cope with that no one knows about. So don't worry about her, just concentrate on you. Remember, you've got a little guy whose world is made wonderful just because you're in it, so crappy can never be so bad with this little bit of knowledge.

 

now, go put on your *ss-stompin' shoes and show the world who is boss

 

hugs,

q

[norajane]

Thanks for your reply Norajane. I don't want you to get me wrong, now.....I can hold it down but I also believe when it's two of you things can get down more. Are you a single mother?? I know sometimes when people haven't been through what I have, they seem to give advice about something they totally have no idea about.

 

It just seem like no one understands me, so never mind.

Thanks again

 

Look, you said you were envious of your friend who has had men who set her up financially. Yes, I get it that it's easier when someone else shares the burden...I see how that works beautifully for my parents who have been married for 40 years. I have never had that "someone else" to help me - it's all been me for the last 20 years, so please don't assume I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

The thing I've learned, and which I tried to say in my reply, is that you cannot rely on anyone else to take care of you. You have to be able to do it yourself, because you never, ever know what can happen in the future.

 

Yes, your friend might have a man taking care of her, but you have no idea what she has to deal with in order to have that man, and she has no idea whether he might one day leave her on her own. If she has no skills and no capability of how to take care of herself, she will be in worse shape than you if that happens.

[NIKI 28]

Thanks Quank and Norajane!

I'm feelin good and I'm done with the whole thing.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Having learned that same life lesson, I must second the great advice you've gotten from Quankanne and Norajane.

 

When you don't require someone to take care of you … a relationship with a second person becomes something you want because you love them, rather than something you need in order to survive. You'll never feel trapped, stuck or afraid to face unpredictable circumstances because you'll have acquired the confidence and necessary survival skills to land on your own two feet in the event of the unforseeable.

 

You will be a much happier and secure person because you can live, love and even accept loss and disappointment without fear. And happy people attract equally happy partners.

[lonelybird]

NIKI

Sometimes the happening in our life is a sign that the Lord is trying to draw your attention to Him, a sign that He loves you. Do you rely on God more than on man? Do you obey God's words? obedience is like an open door to blessings. Non-obedience would close those doors. Do you attach yourself to Bible and find strength in it? God want us to reply on Him more than anything else. If you did all these things already, then through this experience Lord is trying to teach you something which would reward you greatly later. It is not easy as a single mother. I believe Lord is doing something for you or shaping your charactors. Please be patient.

God bless

[boshemia]

Just remember that what you see on the outside of someones life is never what is really going on behind closed doors.

 

I went through a phase like that a few years ago, it's tough... I've known girls like that... it's tough too. Some people just seem to get everything handed to them, and others have to struggle for every thing they get.

 

I was jealous because my ex got to move on with no responsibilities, he was able to go to college, make loads of money, and party all of the time...

 

I was blessed because I got to keep my kids, to share their lives with them every day, to be there for school plays, to be there for long talks...

 

I was jealous because the people who tried to con my grandmother seemed to keep having good luck fall into their lap, while they harassed my Grandmother to no end for exposing their scam.

 

I was blessed because I have a family that loves me, people to support me, and a reputation solid enough that the accusations against my family fell off like water.

 

I was jealous because this girl I knew just seemed to trade guys in like she was having her tires rotated. They bought her cars, houses, anything she wanted.

 

I was blessed because I was raised to take care of myself, not to rely on men to do it for me. That's called legal prostitution, not love.

 

I was jealous because another couple I knew was so perfect. They had money, nice cars, perfect kids, everything I ever thought success was about.

 

They divorced a few months later (she told her husband she wanted to be as happy as I was with my husband!!!!) It's the nastiest divorce I've ever seen...

 

Count you blessings love... no matter how hard it seems like you have it, no matter how low it seems you are. You are doing it, and you are doing it on your own two feet.

 

You are truly blessed!

[Love Hurts]

When you strive to follow Christ… Satan will cut you down and take you to the ground [like Job of the Bible]. Many believers suffer loss; many cannot find a partner to go through life with. The good news is… Christ will lift you again.

 

This is a storm Niki, your tired because all things appear to be fruitless and there is seemingly no way out of the trap.

Take your focus off the world, put that focus on Jesus, repent of your sins and ask the Lord to help you. Trust that He Will. I know He will … I have Faith for you He Will. Miracles happen with Jesus.

 

I know two females that are having a difficult time…each of them for years… living and barely making it. Living with others for shelter.

One was offered an apartment rent free, cute the reason it’s free is she has to take care of the owners dogs.

 

The other one was given a 98 Buick its sharp, clean low miles. An elderly woman just gave it to her. See if you trust in the Lord. When you’re down… the Lord will provide.

 

People give things away. My parents have given two cars away. I gave a car away; it was decent and I could have used the cash. But occasionally I saw a female with children walking in poor weather to take her children to school… I would pass by on days when I decided drive mine to and from school. I knew she had to be bad off when seeing woman and her children walk in rainstorms to school with no umbrellas.

Her children entered the school building as if they just stepped out of the bathtub with their clothes on. When it snowed and it was freezing outside they still walked; she pushed a double stroller with two small toddlers and two older children walked beside; their faces were beat red from the wind chill.

My heart ached for them. I didn’t know her from Adam… I began to talk to her and discovered she had a drivers license; [so she could drive] she told of her financial situation and the father of the children had left her with hardship.

She said if she only had a car she could begin to make a positive diff and that she desired to finish her college education. Well it was a start; her mother offered to pay the first year insurance on it and together it made a positive diff for her and her children. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

 

God uses people to help people… trust in God he will put things in your path when you least expect. Don’t focus on what others have; you don’t know if their ride is worth the pain.

 

Your Victory is in the Lord…. Keep the Faith and do the time.

The time is to grow in the Lord; oh for faith to trust Him more.

 

Off the cuff here; hospitals and hospice care release patients, many of them are in need of help; someone to watch over and care for them,

drive for them and what not.

Hospitals take a list of names of willing aids for these individuals.

Many patients have children or relatives that work full time jobs or live long distances away.

Help is appreciated. Payment comes in many ways. It may require a live in aid. You could use their car to drive them where they want to go and or to do their shopping.

 

A friend of mine does that for a living. She put her name on the list and now cares for an elderly woman; she sits with her so many days a week and shops for her. Another man was actually homeless, he sleeps their at night … no charge and no paycheck… it’s a trade off … he cleans house and is available if this woman needs help; he has gained shelter as well as a mailing address which is important. People help people; each get something they need in order to go in life.

 

“Father in Jesus Name we uphold Ncki in her hour of need. You know her financial needs and her weariness… we pray Lord you send aid to her and lift out of this place of lack. We bind the demonic spirits of hindrance and lack in her life in Jesus Name… Amen.” And Thank you Dear Lord for hearing our prayers.

 

Keep the Faith…

God Bless*

[amy98ta]

I can understand where you are coming from. I am in a similiar situation. I moved in with my parents after I had decided to end my marriage of 10 years. After I left him a week later he comitted suicide. So now I am the sole supporter of my kids and have to deal with their grief which makes my grief more compunded. I also moved here without a job and can't seem to get one in my field. So I started back to school to get another degree. Just this past week I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months. So I have been going through some of the things you have been. It's rough and I do understand that I have to pull all of this stuff together by myself but sometimes you wonder when will my break come. I am like you very tired of this mess and can't wait for things to turn around.

 

On the other hand I am not looking for a man to help me out of this. I do know that I have to do this on my own for a while so I can find myself again.

 

Since we have a lot in common and want to talk let me know and we can exchange info.

 

 

Amy