why does he need me if he has porn

[stillafool]

It's so unrealistic to think your SO would only be aroused and turned on by you. It would be nice but it just doesn't work that way for all. Just because they find another woman sexy does not mean they don't love you. I think even guys that don't watch porn use images of other women they've seen when they masturbate or make love. If you spend too much time worrying about things you have no control over you will lose your mind and break up your relationship.

[new_stella]

My problem is this very thing we are talking about and my SO cannot feel comfortable with my change.

Wow, you just described MY problem!

Looks like we are in a similar, but opposite situation.

 

To answer your question, I never said I was always aroused by just seeing a naked female body, or I stopped – I just said I am not interested anymore in getting aroused the way I used to.

That’s great that you were able to change your behaviour for your SO. Some men stick to their ‘right and obligation’ to watch porn like their life depends on it. It’s fantastic that you were able to stop doing something that hurts her. It shows how much you love her. Kudos on you for all that!

 

But all that doesn’t necessarily take you out of the majority. As a man, you are attracted to other women and you get aroused by them. And this fact, I think, puts you in the majority!

OTOH, the fact that you choose not to actively seek that sort of arousal is what puts you in the minority.

 

Whether it would still happen to me under certain circumstances or not, it is irrelevant, because I am not interested in finding out, as I am quite comfortable with the way I feel now, as my So fills my world completely. That’s my point.

Well, it IS irrelevant until those ‘certain circumstances’ actually happen. You don’t always have (absolute) control over the circumstances.

What then?

This has a huge potential for a big disappointment for both of you.

 

And just one personal question: how do you do it?

How do you stop yourself being attracted to a sexy woman?

[Trialbyfire]

While I have no issues with guys watching porn, I also have no personal interest in it.

 

Some men are addicted to porn. Any serious addiction is a problem. I view it the same way as being addicted to gambling. Get some help, NOW!

 

For the rest of the male population, as long as it isn't any of the sick stuff, I don't care. The vast majority of the mentally stable male population would rather have sex with a real body than engage in masturbation while viewing porn. Porn has no person to person interaction which is why I don't view it as cheating or having impact on a relationship, except for the instance of addiction.

 

I know enough of you ladies will want to kill me but I think you're being too controlling when your guy isn't addicted to porn and you have issues with him viewing it.

[iamwhatiam]

Well, it IS irrelevant until those ‘certain circumstances’ actually happen. You don’t always have (absolute) control over the circumstances.

What then?

This has a huge potential for a big disappointment for both of you.

 

And just one personal question: how do you do it?

How do you stop yourself being attracted to a sexy woman?

 

In regards to ‘certain circumstances’, what I wanted to say is that, to the best of my knowledge and the way I feel today (and for many years now), I don’t’ believe I will want to have sex with another woman ever again, and I am not interested in looking for a situation in which I would be able to prove it.

 

To answer your personal question, I really don’t get aroused by a woman just by her appearing in front of my eyes – that part of myself has always been like that, and it’s not something that happened after I spoke to my SO about those things (well, for completeness sake, it did happen to my once, some 30 years ago). What did change was, that if I now see a woman which I would previously observe more closely, I see her as just another woman, without going any further as to think about whether I like her or not – without trying to think whether she is sexy or not. The word ‘sexy’ I reserve for my SO, which she absolutely deserves.

 

Now, since you mentioned something about your problem, I wouldn’t mind if you explore a little bit more on that – how you have been going through that and what your SO is doing in that regard. That could possibly help us, why not?

 

Whether all this could also help the lady who started this thread, I can’t tell, but we all certainly talk about the same topic, and at least she can see that she is not alone with her problem.

 

A comment to Trialbyfire:

What is ‘sick stuff’? Don’t you see that, by setting the boundaries, you are already setting some controls here: what if, what you consider ‘sick’, the other person doesn’t? (Just remember, until only some 30 years ago, oral sex was widely considered as ‘sick’.)

 

My point is, and some people here definitely agree with it, that, as long as both people in a relationship enjoy some activity, whatever it is, the problem doesn’t exist.

[new_stella]

To answer your personal question, I really don’t get aroused by a woman just by her appearing in front of my eyes – that part of myself has always been like that, and it’s not something that happened after I spoke to my SO about those things (well, for completeness sake, it did happen to my once, some 30 years ago).

But you were turned on by naked women, right?

 

Now you're confusing me, how does that go with:

I grew up as a typical adolescent in the sense you are referring to, ie. masturbating with porn (or simply pictures of naked women), and looking at other women and commenting them with friends, and I simply took it for granted, I never questioned why I did it. After falling in love with my partner, I didn't realise that I continued doing this …

?

 

What did change was, that if I now see a woman which I would previously observe more closely, I see her as just another woman, without going any further as to think about whether I like her or not – without trying to think whether she is sexy or not. The word ‘sexy’ I reserve for my SO, which she absolutely deserves.

Are you actually saying that you stop yourself before you look at another women to prevent yourself from finding her sexy?

What happens with the women you spend more time with, so you can’t just ignore them, say at work? Any sexy women there?

 

You aren’t saying you never find any woman attractive any more?

 

Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m too wrapped up in my own problem, but you sound like you are scared to admit that you are attracted to other women. Are you worried that she may be reading this?

 

Now, since you mentioned something about your problem, I wouldn’t mind if you explore a little bit more on that – how you have been going through that and what your SO is doing in that regard. That could possibly help us, why not?

Here’s my story:

 

My H spent years of our marriage looking at porn and other women. Once I found the extent of this, we talked about it and… to make the long story short he offered to stop. It didn’t go very smoothly though and left me with the feeling that he will always desire other women. He claims he is not interested any more (I never snooped and checked), but I suspect that he is simply in denial about it. The fact that he WAS like most men and has now changed, means that he CHOSE not to be like that, but his underling instinct must still be there. I hate the idea of him resenting me for all this. OTOH, it still bothers me and I can’t bring myself to tell him to start again…

[iamwhatiam]

By trying to be concise, I added to confusion. Let me try to explain myself.

 

(Whether she reads this or not is irrelevant, since I don’t have to say anything I haven’t told her already.)

 

There are several aspects of my sexuality we are talking about here.

 

- ‘Turned on by naked women’. Not exactly, ie. as I said previously, it never worked that way that I get turned on by simply seeing a naked woman. Porn and pictures/photos were only an aid, not the trigger. And, as I discovered years later, it was nothing but the habit (notably after I discovered the immense pleasure of real sex with the woman I love), and was easy to discard.

 

- The more I spoke to my SO about the problem, the more it revealed to me how much she is hurt by this, and it all deeply affected me. It felt like there was somebody else living in me, as I was deeply in love and didn’t want anyone else, but she showed me that it could be interpreted as if I, at certain level on my mind, did want others, and unlike the men from the statistics, I started looking at all these activities (porn and looking) as resentful, something I don’t see as a part of my nature. No, I didn’t become gay, I just felt the part that was directed towards other women is now all hers.

 

- Looking at other women was something I did for years, in a way that a woman would attract my attention, I would notice her shapes, note whether she is attractive or not, but it never produced that desire the statistics are talking about, ie. something of a sort ‘I would like to have sex with her’, and then imagining it. (Possibly, when I was single and looking for a partner, I would go further, ie. see if I could get to know her etc, but we are not here talking about that – we are talking about looking at other women while I am/was not single). When I now say that 'when I see another woman, I am not interested in any more information about her', I mean exactly that, and nothing else: ‘I don’t feel any need in determining if/how much she is attractive'. I don’t feel oppressed in any way, I am simply not interested, and I don’t think spending any more time with any other woman would change that. And, no, there are no women at work I would find sexy. And, yes, I am saying I never find any OTHER woman attractive any more.

 

Back to you – do you still talk about it or not? Is he aware that you are looking for help here? Instead of snooping and checking, why don't you ask him how he feels about it?

[Jersey Shortie]

I don't have a problem with men who are attracted to othe women. What I have a problem with is men who claim they are so committed yet indirectly still seek women out through porn when they have a girlfriend there that should be meeting their needs. It's a good way to make your girlfriend feel useless. Not to mention that alot of porn treats women pretty worthlessly.

[new_stella]

Thanks for your answers, iamwhoiam.

Back to you – do you still talk about it or not?

Not so much any more – I think we said everything we had to say. And more. He knows I'm here.

 

Instead of snooping and checking, why don't you ask him how he feels about it?

Never said I was snooping and checking.

 

I don’t ask because I think he would just lie to make me feel better – as any normal person wanting to keep a relationship (as someone pointed out in a previous post).

That is the reason I’m looking for other opinions from people who have no ‘personal interest’ in the subject.

 

Also, this thread is obviously dying.

If you want to talk, please feel free to PM me.

 

Stella

[Guest]

personally i am a guy...

 

i look at porn...

 

i will tell you that guys really have no reason to look at porn.

 

unfortunately pornhas saved me from cheating many times. i feel it has always been ok to go to a restuarant and look at the menu even if you already know what you are going to order.

 

dont stress to much im sorry guys are like this, but it is better that he looks, then he touches, possibly if he likes to look at porno so much take nude photos and give them to him in exchange for porno, but i will tell you the truth he will continue to look at it even if he sees you.

 

the good thing is its nothing to worry about, as long as it's innocent and he isn't touching anyone, porno is alright. ask him if he would mind if you looked at it if he says no you can't then you have a fight

[rtHawk]

Thanks for your answers, iamwhoiam.

 

Not so much any more – I think we said everything we had to say. And more. He knows I'm here.

 

 

Never said I was snooping and checking.

 

I don’t ask because I think he would just lie to make me feel better – as any normal person wanting to keep a relationship (as someone pointed out in a previous post).

That is the reason I’m looking for other opinions from people who have no ‘personal interest’ in the subject.

 

Also, this thread is obviously dying.

If you want to talk, please feel free to PM me.

 

Stella

Thanks for your answers, iamwhoiam.

 

Not so much any more – I think we said everything we had to say. And more. He knows I'm here.

 

 

Never said I was snooping and checking.

 

I don’t ask because I think he would just lie to make me feel better – as any normal person wanting to keep a relationship (as someone pointed out in a previous post).

That is the reason I’m looking for other opinions from people who have no ‘personal interest’ in the subject.

 

Also, this thread is obviously dying.

If you want to talk, please feel free to PM me.

 

Stella

 

Hi New stella

we have posted in this area of thoughts before and you have actually been one with such kind and supportive words ....

 

I deal with this, struggle with it and tolerate/cope as best I can. I on one side tell myself it isn't the worst thing and his usage could be much more significant and then at other times it absolutely devastates me and takes my sense of myself, as a woman, his sexual partner etc down to a very stressful and sad leve. I still cannot "get" the idea that the man I soo adore and have such committment to can find another woman be it a "porn" one, that he will become aroused by her and her wares and masturbate to that and make a physiological-bond if even momentary to this woman.

it is very hurtful to me as I am one of those women who just doesn't get into other men any more at all... he's the one.

I would exchange thoughts and ideas with you on pm if you wish, but jsut don't know how.

hugs to you

[BohemeRose]

Welp. I really don't have the time or patience to go back and read every single post before this one, so I will just share my thoughts and apologize ahead of time for any redundancy.

 

I like porn. My boyfriend likes porn. We don't make it a mystery to one another and no one feels like they're being "cheated on" with the porn. The fact of the matter is, porn is usually not anything like real, normal sex.

 

I understand that sometimes my boyfriend would prefer sitting back, relaxing with a porn and getting some low-key jollies on his own. I feel the same way. It's a way of getting sexual pleasure by focusing only on yourself and not having to worry about the pleasure of another person. That may sound selfish but, everyone is entitled to it from time to time.

 

Now if he NEVER touches you anymore, or is masturbating to pornography a few times daily, he probably needs to see a psychologist. Men can actually become addicted to and possibly jaded by pornography to the point where they can no longer get pleasure from sex with an actual women, unless of course they are watching porn while doing so. He would need to be "de-programmed" so to speak, to expect what he sees in his pornography in real life.

 

But this is NOT to say that someone who occasionally, or even a few times a week, sits back and releases him/herself with porn is addicted or engaging in any abnormal behavior.

 

I guess my main point is, masturbation is not the same as sex. It's a completely different sensation and activity and you shouldn't take offense that your husband still wants to pleasure himself at times.

[rtHawk]

thanks for your thoughts BohemeRose;

but I have no offense to his maturbating...that is natural and normal.

I also, don't give a rat's a$$ about the porn sex as personally I find it rather gross, humourous and pathetically fake all wrapped up in one... and truly think the real sex I/my SO share is WAAAAYYY beyond better and exciting.

 

I do have and find offense to the idea, the feeling and the concept that he gets turned-on by other women and their body parts... things I do not have or ways in which I am very different... there is room for comparison.

 

I am no prude either, I go to nudist beaches with him, so have no problem with nudity and allowing myself that type of exposure.

 

but, porn is a physiological replacement of your parnter (for me) it replaces me, it replaces my face, my body, my sounds....

with some f***ing bimbo/wh**re. That too me is very hurtful.

 

it is a type of mindful cheating for me.

 

I would ask you as a woman, what is it about porn that you like????

trully? and how do you deal with knowing your guy gets turned on by the porn women.

if not tooo personal a ? , what turns you on and how do you feel about it after you are done with the porn.

 

thanks for your time.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. what is it about porn that you like????

 

2. and how do you deal with knowing your guy gets turned on by the porn women.

 

3. what turns you on and how do you feel about it after you are done with the porn.

 

1. I like being able to watch stuff I don't get to do IRL. I watch some off the wall stuff.

 

2. He won't watch porn. I've tried to watch it with him, or suggest stuff but he gets really uncomfortable with it, and gently reminds me that porn simply doesn't 'do it' for him. He doesn't mind if I watch it - he knows what I like and he isn't really threatened by what I watch. The sex between us is as mindblowingly good as it always was, so as long as it keeps on that way there really isn't a problem.

 

3. Girl on girl, girls with toys, BSDM - especially forced orgasms (my latest vicarious fetish), etc. Fairly kinky stuff. I don't like tame porn. I don't like straight porn. I don't like the romantic porn. I don't like the fake orgasm stuff. I don't like blow job porn. Basically, if I get it IRL I don't really feel a need to watch someone else doing the same thing. Its my voyeur time. My time to vicariously experience something I don't really have the inclination to do IRL. How do I feel afterward? Well, porn is like any other of my 'toys'. When I'm done, I put it away and don't really think about it again until I'm feeling the urge.

[directx]

1. I like being able to watch stuff I don't get to do IRL. I watch some off the wall stuff.

 

2. He won't watch porn. I've tried to watch it with him, or suggest stuff but he gets really uncomfortable with it, and gently reminds me that porn simply doesn't 'do it' for him. He doesn't mind if I watch it - he knows what I like and he isn't really threatened by what I watch. The sex between us is as mindblowingly good as it always was, so as long as it keeps on that way there really isn't a problem.

 

3. Girl on girl, girls with toys, BSDM - especially forced orgasms (my latest vicarious fetish), etc. Fairly kinky stuff. I don't like tame porn. I don't like straight porn. I don't like the romantic porn. I don't like the fake orgasm stuff. I don't like blow job porn. Basically, if I get it IRL I don't really feel a need to watch someone else doing the same thing. Its my voyeur time. My time to vicariously experience something I don't really have the inclination to do IRL. How do I feel afterward? Well, porn is like any other of my 'toys'. When I'm done, I put it away and don't really think about it again until I'm feeling the urge.

 

I am on practically the same page as LucreziaBorgia. Its not a horrible thing as long as one isn't addicted. I think its pretty healthy and natural.

But its a drag being with a partner that isn't in to it, that partner hopefully understands its nothing personal, just the way it is.

[rainfall]

I understand that sometimes my boyfriend would prefer sitting back, relaxing with a porn and getting some low-key jollies on his own. I feel the same way. It's a way of getting sexual pleasure by focusing only on yourself and not having to worry about the pleasure of another person. That may sound selfish but, everyone is entitled to it from time to time.

 

 

I guess my main point is, masturbation is not the same as sex. It's a completely different sensation and activity and you shouldn't take offense that your husband still wants to pleasure himself at times.

 

 

I don't think its the solo sexual pleasure that bothers people who have a problem with porn. I think it is getting off to pictures and videos of naked women that some people find offensive.

[BohemeRose]

I would ask you as a woman, what is it about porn that you like????

trully? and how do you deal with knowing your guy gets turned on by the porn women.

if not tooo personal a ? , what turns you on and how do you feel about it after you are done with the porn.

 

thanks for your time.

 

What do I like about it? Well, obviously, it's a turn on for me, being able to see another couple..or threesome...or whatever together and how they do things. It's also a good way how to learn new things to do with your own partner, which is usually something he appreciates. And I don't have to "deal" with the fact that my man gets turned on by the women in porn because it doesn't bother me. I mean hell, if a naked Brad Pitt was parading around in front of me or getting it on with some hot chick, I'd get turned on, no matter how I feel about my boyfriend. Just because your man is in an exclusive relationship with you, you can't expect him to switch off his normal bodily functions and natural arousal. He can't STOP his willy from standing at attention when it wants to, you know. I'd be more worried if he were turned on by watching the food network than him being turned on by something that's SUPPOSED to be sexy.

 

This may sound harsh, but I just find it terribly ignorant that you think he feels any less strongly about you because he likes porn. That's really what it boils down to, isn't it? I mean, if it was just that you don't like porn while he does, it wouldn't be so upsetting to you...my boyfriend likes videogames and I don't, but I don't get upset about it. Now if I thought he was "emotionally cheating" on me with Princess Peach, then I would have a problem.

 

He LOVES you. Jenna Jameson won't change that, but YOU might. He's just a garden variety horny man, and you can't make him be otherwise. If anything, harping on him about it could eventually make him either a) resentful of you or b) be dishonest about it and do things to try and hide it from you just so he can get some peace, like view it in a movie booth at a porn shop instead of at home. Is that what you would prefer?

 

I know I'm not being as nice as I normally am but hearing women whine about their men watching porn is getting really, really old on this forum.

[BohemeRose]

I don't think its the solo sexual pleasure that bothers people who have a problem with porn. I think it is getting off to pictures and videos of naked women that some people find offensive.

 

Yes but in the age of computers, ipod and 500 channels on the television set, some people simply don't havethe imagination to sit back and masturbate on their own without the assistance of a visual.

 

Whether you like it or not, there is always some level of fantasy involved with masturbation. Porn just puts into a visual what the man/woman is thinking about anyway. So to argue watching porn is emotional infidelity, you would have to put masturbating in that catergory as well. I know that when I masturbate I'm not thinking about the weather. I'm thinking about something sexy.

[new_stella]

I would exchange thoughts and ideas with you on pm if you wish, but jsut don't know how.

hugs to you

To start receiving PMs you need to enable private messaging first.

When you are logged in, click on ‘My Profile / CP’ --> ‘Edit Options’

and tick ‘Enable Private Messaging’

 

To send PM just left click on the user_name in any post and select

’Send Private Message to user_name’

 

I’d love to talk to you.

 

I know I'm not being as nice as I normally am but hearing women whine about their men watching porn is getting really, really old on this forum.

I think it is great that it doesn’t bother you that you bf gets turned on by better looking women.

I’m also staring to agree with some people here that expectations that we (women with this problem) have are probably unrealistic.

It doesn’t make me feel better though, just sad and depressed.

 

If you can’t listen to our whining any more, you have a simple way out – just stop reading these threads.

 

For the rest of us it’s not that easy – we cannot just switch off our feelings. Even people who have gotten over it will tell you it’s a long process. In the meantime, I see nothing wrong with us looking for support here.

[pelagicsands]

It doesn’t make me feel better though, just sad and depressed.

Yes, I'm with you. It totally devalues a loving act. But all most people seem to care about these days is self-gratification. Sad, and depressing.

 

The bunny will save us all. Not today, not tomorrow, but... some day. Soon.

[rainfall]

Whether you like it or not, there is always some level of fantasy involved with masturbation. Porn just puts into a visual what the man/woman is thinking about anyway. So to argue watching porn is emotional infidelity, you would have to put masturbating in that catergory as well. I know that when I masturbate I'm not thinking about the weather. I'm thinking about something sexy.

 

Really? Wow nice to know you can read everyone's mind. When I masturbate I think of my bf. Not random people and he says he does the same. So no not everyone has fantasies about other's.

[Toni_no12002]

A fantasy is a fantasy thats all doesnt mean you actually want it to happen.Quite a few women have said they have had fantasy's about being raped.Doesnt mean that they would actually want it to happen in real life though.

[rtHawk]

just a few thoughts on this.

trully, this is as much about the cliche; different strokes for different folks (pardon the pun).

What some women don't feel uncomfortable with, others feel very uncomfortable with.

 

Clearly as one quest poster stated, men dont really need porn. IMO; it is a choice. Some choose it and some don't.

 

I also think it is clealy an issue and problem for loads and loads of women, thus the ONGOING-MULITIPLE THREADS/?/CONCERSN about it and views of those threads, and not just from "addictive" viewpoints.

 

Yes, I'm with you. It totally devalues a loving act. But all most people seem to care about these days is self-gratification. Sad, and depressing.

 

I couldn't agree with that more. And at the compromise of their partner's feelings and concerns.

I know I put alot of time and effort into "creative and imaginative" love-making/sex with my partner. I write them out sometimes for him and put alot into keeping our love making/sex creative, experimental and exciting.

I never ever need porn to help me think up new things or new ideas. ( I am not condeming anyone here who does) just commenting about myself.

 

Porn is someone's else' fantasy put into action.

 

another poster stated it is controlling for women who have concerns about porn, but truthfully, the control is or can be for some; from the people who make it and the people who view it. The people making it are feeling some control over their viewers because they feel some power play knowing other's are getting off to them and their spread legs ( as if they are the only A/T/P on earth) and the people who watch can find some control over the women/men in them as they can vicariously live out their need to control women.(in those type of porns)

 

I would always rather my guy create his own mindful fantasy, as it is probably not as descript in detail (graphics) as it is in porn. It isn't something that can be stored and reviewed again and again but in his mind. The people would be more fuzzy and less memorable. The close-up spreads wouldn't be so detailed but imagined. How often you find people tell you that the images and scenes that they have seen in porn are things that stay with them for years ....they don't just dissappear.

doubtful that happens in a mindful fantasy.

 

One guest poster states that porn has kept him from cheating..... that translates to me that even tho your SO loves you, you are just never going to keep him/her satisfied and interested to maintain that level of committment to you. There is just always going to be the want to see other women and their bits and you just aren't going to do it full-time.

Yet, I absolutely love my SO, love his body even as it changes, and have noooooo desire to look at other guys, particularly in a porn; I 'd rather be doing than wasting my time watching.

 

I really think that those women that have such concerns find that porn is a type of mindful indescretion. It is a message..

Yeah, I love you, but ........

[Jersey Shortie]

I know I'm not being as nice as I normally am but hearing women whine about their men watching porn is getting really, really old on this forum.

 

 

On the flip side of that, hearing men defend it gets really really old as well. The porn is continually defended over the real women in your life.

 

 

 

RTHawk I think always manages to nicely captures exactly what most women are probably thinking/feeling and can do it much calmer then myself on this issue.

 

While porn makes men happy and feel good and sexual and like men, it can have the reverse effect on your woman. It can be very de-feminizing and make you feel replaced. No woman can compete with the 100 of porn images men voluntarily seek to pu into their minds. Women want to feel loved and beatiful espeically from their SO. And indirectly seeking out women who are perfect in terms of looks and what they are willing to do to please, can be harmful and hurtful to the real woman in your life who is never going to measure up to what men show they really want and desire.

 

The message porn sends me is no woman is good enough, a woman is an interchanagable non-human toy almost, and that what men really desire is perfect looking 18-25 year olds with hair extensions and fake boobies that don't mind being told what a C*nt they are.

 

If women had a medium that degraded and used men for all of men's inherent insecurities, I wonder if men would begin to wonder how women saw them and if they even cared about them.

[rtHawk]

On the flip side of that, hearing men defend it gets really really old as well. The porn is continually defended over the real women in your life.

 

 

 

RTHawk I think always manages to nicely captures exactly what most women are probably thinking/feeling and can do it much calmer then myself on this issue.

 

While porn makes men happy and feel good and sexual and like men, it can have the reverse effect on your woman. It can be very de-feminizing and make you feel replaced. No woman can compete with the 100 of porn images men voluntarily seek to pu into their minds. Women want to feel loved and beatiful espeically from their SO. And indirectly seeking out women who are perfect in terms of looks and what they are willing to do to please, can be harmful and hurtful to the real woman in your life who is never going to measure up to what men show they really want and desire.

 

The message porn sends me is no woman is good enough, a woman is an interchanagable non-human toy almost, and that what men really desire is perfect looking 18-25 year olds with hair extensions and fake boobies that don't mind being told what a C*nt they are.

 

If women had a medium that degraded and used men for all of men's inherent insecurities, I wonder if men would begin to wonder how women saw them and if they even cared about them.

 

"what a C*nt they are. " so well put, just remember that JS; they are that in the worst of its deragatory intent. I truly don't take as much issue with men watching porn as I do with the HO's who make them.....

if there is anything to feel angry and upset about it is what they don't do for our gender, how they degrade it and how they reflect the need for attention/$/and control....

 

 

Hey Jersey;

it feels like a never ending struggle..and for what????

as I keep saying, there is nothng more wonderful for a man to make a committment to the woman he loves and to let her know how special she is and keep his fantasies where they belong; in his mind--not on the computer or the tv...

the continued sense of defense of porn over the caring and willingness to care and love their partner is just beyond my comprehension...(for those in R with women who have concerns with porn)

just stop--what is up with that??why can't you stop? find happiness with your SO....

 

lots of guys will say we are, we do, we love our women....

but we still need the visuals..

so why can't the visuals be of your sweetheart??? even imagined???

[Woggle]

To me if a woman can offer someting that porn can't offer she shouldn't feel insecure. Sometimes porn is better than an actual woman.

 

Porn doesn't nag you to death

Porn doesn't resent you for no reason at all

Porn doesn't belittle and put you down

Porn won't divorce you for no good reason no matter how you good you treat it

Porn won't cheat on you and then try to say it is all your fault.

 

If a woman does not do these things then she has nothing to worry about because she offers an intangible that only a human being can offer. If a woman does do these things she is only useful for sex and can be easily replaced with an image.