wanthim4eva Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 i split with my bf nearly 3 weeks ago now and its not getting any easier. i broke no contact after 7 days and he was actually really nice n said he was missing me so much and we arranged to meet up as friends one sunday... but the day after i went and ruined it by asking him to get back with me n then i went back 2 pleading needy mode for 3 days. i coulda stood a chance in gettin him back if i had jsut played it kool and met up with him n jsut been friendly, especially after he said he was really missing me.. but i went n messed it up totaly. so then i went back to NC which i broke again on day 4... this time he said he didnt want to meet up until he was over me and he could just c me as a friend coz it messes his head up and it puts him back 2 square 1.he said it aint easy for him but he feels like its not right for him 2 be with me any more after the big argument we had coz he feels it will be a massive dent in the relationship it driving me crackers.. i lov him so much n have never ever had my heartbroken like this b4... he is being so cold and sayin some really awful things and i truly believe that he is jsut not seeing things how they really are. i feel like he's taken my heart,, ripped it into shreds and thrown it back in my face. every night i cry myself to sleep, all through the day im trying to choke back the tears and i still cant eat. its the most painful thing ive ever had to go through also he has a new phone and he refused to let me have the number.. in fact he is not even admitting that he has got a new number he keeps saying he still has the old number but i know he's lying coz a friend of his told me that he has a new number,,, it hurts so bad after 2 years of knowing him n everything we have been through that he doesnt want me knowing the number. i feel shut out n like ive jsut been thrown to the garbage after everything we shared n all i have done for him the worst thing is.. i know that he is out having a great time and taking his mind off me but i cant do that as have a daughter. so im spending evenigns n weekends sitting in alone with all the memories of everything around me i cant handle this pain.... i want him back so much... no mater how many ppl tell me that he sounds like a right ba****d and that its so his loss and not mine. we havent had contact since yesterday late afternoon.. so i know i havta stick to NC this time... that is the only way i will make him c wot life without me is really like. its drivin me crackers how needy i am, i feel so lonely without him.. i just cant stop torturing myself thinkin about the great times. i feel i cant live without him. i feel like a needy little girl... when i first met him i was a strong, confident, woman Link to post Share on other sites
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