Stupid or What???!!!!

[laura]

Feeling like a COMPLETE fool!!!!!!!!

 

Left the United States to join my British boyfriend in Europe.

 

That was in March of 1999.

 

Some history:

 

He was separated for over a year when I meet him in the States. We dated in the States for almost a year. He came back to Europe, four months later I joined him. (March of this year) With the understanding that he was continuing with his divorce, I was to stay and we would be getting married.

 

Well, here we are. Christmas time. Living in Europe. And not an English speaking country by the way!! He is off again, for the THIRD time this year back to England to visit the "family" (His mum, stepdad, sister, and his 7 year old daughter) Of course, I am being left behind, again. Not welcome. Family knows of me, but has never met or spoken to me. He tries to explain to them, "yea right" my mind is now saying!!!!

 

I am at the point where I feel I should just pack my stuff and bale when he leaves to go back to England.

 

I mean "hello"!!!! He is 40 years old. Still waiting for

 

family to approve of someone they haven't even met!!!

 

I feel that I should take a stand. Either we both go for the holidays or we both stay here. Put the ball so to speak in their court. I would give them some clout if they met me and didn't like me but to just not like me because I am American stinks!

 

Advice????

[Dion]

Go with your instincts. In reading what you wrote it seems a little "fishy". Somehting just isn't right about the situation. Maybe you should return to the U.S. What are you to do if he up and leaves you in this non-english speaking country. Where are your supports? Go on home.

Feeling like a COMPLETE fool!!!!!!!! Left the United States to join my British boyfriend in Europe. That was in March of 1999. Some history: He was separated for over a year when I meet him in the States. We dated in the States for almost a year. He came back to Europe, four months later I joined him. (March of this year) With the understanding that he was continuing with his divorce, I was to stay and we would be getting married. Well, here we are. Christmas time. Living in Europe. And not an English speaking country by the way!! He is off again, for the THIRD time this year back to England to visit the "family" (His mum, stepdad, sister, and his 7 year old daughter) Of course, I am being left behind, again. Not welcome. Family knows of me, but has never met or spoken to me. He tries to explain to them, "yea right" my mind is now saying!!!!

 

I am at the point where I feel I should just pack my stuff and bale when he leaves to go back to England. I mean "hello"!!!! He is 40 years old. Still waiting for family to approve of someone they haven't even met!!! I feel that I should take a stand. Either we both go for the holidays or we both stay here. Put the ball so to speak in their court. I would give them some clout if they met me and didn't like me but to just not like me because I am American stinks! Advice????

[Patsy]

Dion,

 

If your gut feeling is that he is not going to make "good" with your plans then I'd say.....get out of there quick. Don't waste your time with someone who makes all sorts of promises that he can't follow thru with.

 

Putting the ball in his court isn't a bad idea but who do you want controlling that ball. Him, his family or you? I think you are just looking for someone to give you the go ahead to leave but do what your head tells you because there are probably things that you are seeing and just not understanding right now. In the future it will all come to light. The truth stands beside you but you have to want to see it first.

 

Take care of you!

Feeling like a COMPLETE fool!!!!!!!! Left the United States to join my British boyfriend in Europe. That was in March of 1999. Some history: He was separated for over a year when I meet him in the States. We dated in the States for almost a year. He came back to Europe, four months later I joined him. (March of this year) With the understanding that he was continuing with his divorce, I was to stay and we would be getting married. Well, here we are. Christmas time. Living in Europe. And not an English speaking country by the way!! He is off again, for the THIRD time this year back to England to visit the "family" (His mum, stepdad, sister, and his 7 year old daughter) Of course, I am being left behind, again. Not welcome. Family knows of me, but has never met or spoken to me. He tries to explain to them, "yea right" my mind is now saying!!!!

 

I am at the point where I feel I should just pack my stuff and bale when he leaves to go back to England. I mean "hello"!!!! He is 40 years old. Still waiting for family to approve of someone they haven't even met!!! I feel that I should take a stand. Either we both go for the holidays or we both stay here. Put the ball so to speak in their court. I would give them some clout if they met me and didn't like me but to just not like me because I am American stinks! Advice????