he's addicted to porn that leaves me so alone and low

[littlebunny]

Well where do i start i have been married for 3 years together for around 4 /5 years i love my husband unconditionally i total adore him to be honest He totally loves me also but theres been a problem right from the begining and its slowly eaten me away in side to the point im so so very low inside im just falling apart to be honest .Hes never seemed to realy be interested in making love ,theres been sooo many excuses tired not in the mood he even went to the doc to get checked out and recieved viagra ,everytime i would make advances to him i would be pushed away its broken me inside ,i hit a real low point last week ,and i confronted him head on i think he realised it was now or never to be a man and tell me the truth finally ,Hes been addicted to porn for many many years and is unable to get an erection in the 'normal' way ,hes ashamed and feels terrible for the lies hes told me ,i thought it was me not being attractive ,or sexy enough ,or he was seeing someone else ,everyday through out our relationship its grazed my heart deeper and deeper to the point now im just a mess emoitionally ,I love him so very much and will suport him through giving this up as i understand its an addiction as with any other addiction ,but is there hope can he give this up ? realy is it possible I will never leave him as hes my everything but it will and is distroying me ,,,any advise please reply it will be greatly appreciated ,thankyou

[LucreziaBorgia]

but is there hope can he give this up ?

 

Only if:

 

1. He realizes its an addiction, and realizes he will lose you.

 

2. He wants to work on the problem.

 

Admitting you have a problem is hard. Being willing to fix it is even harder. You are in a unique position as well. You can either continue to enable the addiction by doing nothing, or you can put your foot down and insist on breaking this addiction and rebuilding your marriage.

 

You have to be willing to hand out the consequences for remaining an addict, and you have to be willing to follow through on those consequences. See a lawyer and have divorce papers drawn up. Then sit him down and show him the papers. Let him know his options are limited: either her works on fixing this problem, or he signs the divorce papers.

 

This addiction will not go away, or ever be fixed if you are not strong enough to follow through on this. He won't let his addiction go until he realizes that he really will lose everything. If he thinks even for a second that you are bluffing, the addiction will go nowhere.

 

Start with counseling and therapy. If he is not willing to go, then he is not willing to fix his problem and your choices are limited: stay with this man as he is and live out your life unhappy and unsatisfied, or leave him and find someone who can help you find a greater happiness and fulfillment.

[littlebunny]

:bunny: :bunny: Thankyou for your reply ,sorry ive not written before ive not had much chance alone to get on here ,Everything you wrote is spot on ,He knows as I told him that we are over if this doesnt stop ,and i mean it ,he has stopped now for 2 weeks i know he has as i keep track on the pc im a bit cleverer than him on the pc ,so yes he is making a huge effot im kinda exspecting him to slip a couple times but im not telling him that ,but it is an addiction after all ,but hes made a huge effot considering its been going on for many years .i do hope things continue improving ,ive read alot on here and its suprising just how many people are in this situation ,its so desperately lonely for the one on the lonely rejected side .,if theres anyone out there in a similar situation if it helps you feel free to chat with me as i know from experience you dont talk to anyone about it ,i havnt and its been going on for many years ,well i havnt till now on here i mean its so helped me alot thankyou x :bunny: :bunny: