forbidenlove Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 We have been together for 8 months now,and in that "short" period of time-we have become VERY close,inseperable/ In LOVE..BUT I was surprised when he invited me to go with him to visit some of his family (mainly cousins/uncles) for some get-together.I mean his family obviously KNOWS he is Married..and his family WELCOMED me in their home with open arms,were very freindly,seemed to be glad to meet me,ETC..why they would be cool with this is beyond me..Makes me think that maybe they have no to lil respect for his W or that they (my MM & his W) have major problems in their Marriage.. He has never really talked about his W,but he talks about his kids now and then (I have a child aswell) so I don't know what to think..I asked him if I was the first OW he has brought to meet his "family" and he of course said "No,I am special to him so i am the first one".He was so sweet the entire night too ..telling me how much he loved me,glad I was with him,and so on.. Needless to say I feel like I am more "closer" to him,because he let me be a part of something so personal.,but the whole thing is just Odd..Again WHY would they NOT care?? Has anyone else (reffering to OW) met their MM's family?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidenlove Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Any insight/thoughts?? If i remember correctly i think a poster on this board started a thread simular to mine? sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Well FL, tell us more what was the visit like? Did he introduce you as his friend, girlfriend? Did you ask him what his intentions were when he invited you? Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 We have been together for 8 months now,and in that "short" period of time-we have become VERY close,inseperable/ In LOVE..BUT I was surprised when he invited me to go with him to visit some of his family (mainly cousins/uncles) for some get-together.I mean his family obviously KNOWS he is Married..and his family WELCOMED me in their home with open arms,were very freindly,seemed to be glad to meet me,ETC..why they would be cool with this is beyond me..Makes me think that maybe they have no to lil respect for his W or that they (my MM & his W) have major problems in their Marriage.. He has never really talked about his W,but he talks about his kids now and then (I have a child aswell) so I don't know what to think..I asked him if I was the first OW he has brought to meet his "family" and he of course said "No,I am special to him so i am the first one".He was so sweet the entire night too ..telling me how much he loved me,glad I was with him,and so on.. Needless to say I feel like I am more "closer" to him,because he let me be a part of something so personal.,but the whole thing is just Odd..Again WHY would they NOT care?? Has anyone else (reffering to OW) met their MM's family?? what do u think he's told his family about you...did he tell them you were a coworker or friend of his W's...Obviously, if he's having a A, he lies SOME..Do you know what else he's lied about? Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Maybe all the men in his clan take mistresses, so you fit right into into the family culture. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Any insight/thoughts?? If i remember correctly i think a poster on this board started a thread simular to mine? sigh. i met MMs cousin, i spoke to his friend, a neighbour knew about me and workmates knew about me and im sure his parents knew too and from what i gathered back then 5 years ago (12 month A) none of them liked W. Good Luck i was doing fine after 4 yrs of No Contact. He called 3 weeks ago and i think ive caused a D day of sorts by calling him back at his home. Doh! Everything happens for a reason i guess? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidenlove Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 We were affectionate the whole time we were there (kissing,rubbing each others back,me sitting in his lap,hugging) so it wasn't like MM was trying to hide the fact that we are "together/in a R" nor did he care if his family knew..His Cousins Wife and kids (belive it or not) were there too! She was very nice,showed me around.. Now ive met one of his cousins before,and a friend of his (whom were there) It's almost like he dosn't Care if his W finds out..He mentioned that he wanted me to meet his father also....and that he would like to meet mine,so I guess things are starting to get pretty serious. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I guess my question to you is why you haven't asked him these questions? When he first brought up taking you to meet his family, why didn't you ask him about how they would react to knowing that you are his OW? Or talk to him afterwards and ask why they didn't even mention his W? I think he is the only one who can really explain what's going on in his head. Can't you talk to him about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidenlove Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 I do need to ask him ,and I plan on asking him..Just wanted to know if any OW on here have met their MM's family also/been in the same situation..I have asked him about his W before.. and from my understanding him and the W have alot of problems/aern't happy. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 You sat in his lap in front of his family? Gross. Link to post Share on other sites
Izzar Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Well like they say, "To each his own". Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidenlove Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Like I care what you think..heck i dont even know you! Gross huh?? Ok hun and that is your opinion --witch you are intitled to. would it make everything better if I told you we had Sex in their bedroom ..just be glad I spared you the details of what all went on during our visit (just playing,but still!) ,,Oh but wait I wouldn't want to "gross you out" or anything *rolls eyes* Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 ForbidenLove- been there, done that, got the tshirt. Being an OW is like, so 2006 for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Izzar Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Calm down now:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Author forbidenlove Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Oh im Calm ;-) I think it's actually funny when people are always so QUICK to judge..dons't really bother me,its a message board..nothing more! But I do like comming on here/reading the posts..adding my two cents for whatever it is worth,or ask advice when its needed..but usally am just lurking in the shadows.....(smile) Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I am not judging you at all. As I said- I have been the OW, and I know all about it. I am a little surprised at your brazenness on the first meeting of his parents. Didn't you think they might feel uncomfortable? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 And BTW, how many OW has your MM had? From what you are saying it sounds like he has had a few. But if he took you to meet his parents he MUST be serious. So when does he leave his W then? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 You sat in his lap in front of his family? Gross. Yeah, don't you always try and put your best foot foward and act as classy as that when meeting an SO's family? Sorry but I couldn't resist, that's just so very highschool. (and I'm not saying that because you are an OW.) Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Yeah, don't you always try and put your best foot foward and act as classy as that when meeting an SO's family? Sorry but I couldn't resist, that's just so very highschool. (and I'm not saying that because you are an OW.) Well, I haven't met my SO's family yet, as they live in another country. But I am meeting them soon, so am taking notes. Do you think tonguing him is inappropriate? Link to post Share on other sites
VinaAmez Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Okay this is just seems odd to me. No one questioned anything? I'm guessing the marriage is over. Does his wife know about the affair? And his kids were there. What did they think about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Virginia Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I am guessing he comes from a **** family who do not raise an eyebrow at **** behaviour. They have probably seen him with many other women that they do not even question it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Yeah he sounds like a real keeper, huh. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Man, I sure do wish I could have been there to hear the conversation amongst family members after you and he left! I can only begin to imagine the stuff that was said. Link to post Share on other sites
outofdarkness Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 My H's Grandmother, yes she's still alive and kicking at 95!, had a CH throughout their entire M. When all of the cheating Stuff came out about my H; her Grandson, she proceeded to tell me all about how her H had taken many mistresses...Her Mother in Law hated her and she told me that her H had even taken a main OW to meet his Mother and family. She said that his Mother made it quite clear that she knew about and approved of the A. She hated her b/c she was not "good" enough, ie., not from the right family, no family money, etc. The OW, WAS from a pedigreed family, married and lots of money....So..My point is that this sort of behavior on the MM and MM's family's part seems to have gone on for generations...It used to be that people just didn't talk about things like they do now, but I don't think this is anything new. This all happened from the 1930's thru the 50's. Just thought you all would be interested to know it's nothing new for families to behave this way. I too, was shocked, but realized pretty quickly that it happens more then you think.. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Well, I haven't met my SO's family yet, as they live in another country. But I am meeting them soon, so am taking notes. Do you think tonguing him is inappropriate? yes SB tounging him infront of his family would be innapropriate, that is not what orange( I mean green would do) Link to post Share on other sites
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