MM took me to meet his Family!!

[Guest]

Like I care what you think..heck i dont even know you! Gross huh?? Ok hun and that is your opinion --witch you are intitled to. would it make everything better if I told you we had Sex in their bedroom ..just be glad I spared you the details of what all went on during our visit (just playing,but still!) ,,Oh but wait I wouldn't want to "gross you out" or anything *rolls eyes*

 

 

Gee why doesn't he just bring you on over to the marital home. This man obviously doesn't have any respect for you or his wife.

[Ripples]

I am guessing he comes from a **** family who do not raise an eyebrow at **** behaviour. They have probably seen him with many other women that they do not even question it anymore.

 

That was what I thought, too. Very unclassy behaviour even in a legitimate relationship.

 

Well, I haven't met my SO's family yet, as they live in another country. But I am meeting them soon, so am taking notes.

 

Do you think tonguing him is inappropriate?

LMAO!

[forbidenlove]

Okay this is just seems odd to me. No one questioned anything?

 

I'm guessing the marriage is over. Does his wife know about the affair? And his kids were there. What did they think about it?

 

The Whole thing seemed Odd to me too..He told me we were going over to his cousins house,so I figured that it would just be his cousin there,not MOST of his cousins and their wifes & their kids! It felt VERY akward being over there,, I wasn't really expecting his family to be so accepting of the A..But i don't regret going over there either! Im not sure if his W knows about US,by now im sure she knows something is going on/he's cheating..Because he is NEVER home (works constantly,or when he isn't working he is spending time with me) or avoids W all together.SO how can she NOT know that something is going on?? Im sure IN THE PAST he has brought other women to meet his family,it would be stupid of me to think different.. NO his kids weren't there,His cousins kids were there..and we all know that kids talk ,so for the family to go about everything like NOTHING is going on is just wierd. Sure I shouldn't of sat in his lap when they were around,but we were enjoying each others company/being playful so why not?? Do you honestly think that they would have a PROBLEM with that if they didn't even care about him bringing me over there to meet them????? I think not.None of you OW can tell me that you are any better,or that your MM comes out smelling like a Rose.

[Izzar]

I must butt in here. My s/o is divorced, I've met his kids, friends & family. I would never sit on his lap, french kiss him or any thing like that during a family event. No I'm not saying I'm better than you BUT my s/o & I know better how to act in public with family around.

Come on now, it's not that complicated.

[forbidenlove]

Well good for you and you "SO"! You make it seem like we were stradling each other or were in a middle of a "heavy make out session" I sat in his lap (witch was not the entire time might I add) for crying out loud..lol, and yes we kissed a few times..Does that really even matter..No! He isn't in denial nor hides the way he feels about me,if we won't to be affectionate then so be it,I didn't ask any of you what you thought of "our behaviour"..like you said in your other post "to each it's own"!

[Izzar]

Well good for you and you "SO"! You make it seem like we were stradling each other or were in a middle of a "heavy make out session" I sat in his lap (witch was not the entire time might I add) for crying out loud..lol, and yes we kissed a few times..Does that really even matter..No! He isn't in denial nor hides the way he feels about me,if we won't to be affectionate then so be it,I didn't ask any of you what you thought of "our behaviour"..like you said in your other post "to each it's own"!

 

Ok, Ok. Leave it at that. To each his own. I did not try to offend you. Just giving you my situation & my opinion.

[sb129]

yes SB tounging him infront of his family would be innapropriate, that is not what orange( I mean green would do)

Ok P advice taken.. Since its you.

 

None of you OW can tell me that you are any better,or that your MM comes out smelling like a Rose.

He didn't.

So I dumped his ass.

[dropdeadlegs]

I rarely tread into these waters but the title intrigued me enough to peek.

 

I honestly don't think that sitting in his lap or even kissing is so inappropriate. Sure I have limits, but I don't think those things crossed any double dividing lines or anything.

 

As for the family's acceptance I am assuming that his marriage is more over than you even know and wondering why you don't know if his wife knows or not. Something doesn't seem right, but I'm having a hard time pinpointing what it is. Is it possible he isn't even married at all? Far fetched that someone would pretend that but I read some pretty far fetched stuff around here, so I'll kick anything around as a possibility. It seems easier to understand than his family being so seemingly accepting of an affair.

 

Maybe LucreziaBorgia had the right idea of wondering what the reaction would be when the two of you left. I'm pretty accepting and nonconfrontational in person myself, but I would have been shocked and awed in the aftermath.

 

Glad you saw it a positive experience for you at any rate.

[norajane]

For me, it would be troublesome that he flaunted his relationship with his OW to his family because it shows a remarkable lack of respect for his wife. I'd be worried about a man like that, because, sooner or later, one way or another, you already know he is perfectly capable of treating you with a similar lack of respect. He's not going to suddenly become a sterling example of honor with you when he is clearly dishonorable toward his wife. Instead of feeling special because he introduced me to his family, I'd be reevaluating his character, or lack thereof.

[norajane]

Something doesn't seem right, but I'm having a hard time pinpointing what it is.

 

I'd say it's that she hasn't even discussed it with him. At the first mention of meeting his family, I'd be all over him with incredulous questions about why. I still can't fathom how she didn't/couldn't/wouldn't ask what he was thinking, and how he could do such a thing to his wife.

[IpAncA]

Obviously his side of the family didn't care and maybe they don't like his W either so seeing him with someone else who makes him happy is acceptable to them.

 

I don't know but I'm guessing the marriage is pretty much over and he doesn't really care if his W finds out. But it does seem like he would divorce her though. Wonder what would happen if his W did find out.

[sb129]

I hope she does soon. Nobody likes to be in the dark. For her sake too- then MM and OP can ride off into the sunset and the W can find another man.

[Izzar]

Everything done in the dark, WILL come out in the light!!

[dropdeadlegs]

I'd say it's that she hasn't even discussed it with him. At the first mention of meeting his family, I'd be all over him with incredulous questions about why. I still can't fathom how she didn't/couldn't/wouldn't ask what he was thinking, and how he could do such a thing to his wife.

That is odd, I feel like some facts are unknown and left out by not knowing or not caring??? That is hard for me to comprehend, in either way. I could try to analyze the thought processes of both him and her all day and make 1000 guesses as to how they got to that day, but it would be futile.

 

I'm no angel I have done things I'm not proud of including cheating and sleeping with a married man, I just didn't have a relationship in my instances. I don't want to be perceived as a basher, which is why I don't visit this forum often. I see hostility on other forums and threads that is somehow linked to this forum. I'm afraid to question here, whether I should be or not. Maybe more post viewing would change that for me. Maybe I should come here more often and try to learn more about this aspect of human nature since I do try to question without accusing/belittling/demeaning anyone and truly want a better understanding of how people come to their situations and conclusions in all areas of life.

 

I think I will hang around more often, I can always learn something new and maybe I could even help someone along the way.

[sb129]

And with those legs, you make a wonderful addition to a thread.

 

OP- sorry if I sound cranky. (I am today somebody stood on my tail)

 

I hope it works out for you despite your naievete....

[norajane]

That is odd, I feel like some facts are unknown and left out by not knowing or not caring??? That is hard for me to comprehend, in either way. I could try to analyze the thought processes of both him and her all day and make 1000 guesses as to how they got to that day, but it would be futile.

 

I'm no angel I have done things I'm not proud of including cheating and sleeping with a married man, I just didn't have a relationship in my instances. I don't want to be perceived as a basher, which is why I don't visit this forum often. I see hostility on other forums and threads that is somehow linked to this forum. I'm afraid to question here, whether I should be or not. Maybe more post viewing would change that for me. Maybe I should come here more often and try to learn more about this aspect of human nature since I do try to question without accusing/belittling/demeaning anyone and truly want a better understanding of how people come to their situations and conclusions in all areas of life.

 

I think I will hang around more often, I can always learn something new and maybe I could even help someone along the way.

 

I'm far from being an angel and have been on multiple sides of the cheating equations...I cheated on my fiancee and I was involved with a MM (separated, sort of)...I like to think I've learned from my mistakes and hope to give others some insights that are harder to see when embroiled in the middle of an affair.

 

It's not just OW/OM who post here...former OW/OM, BS, and people who have never been in affairs post. I would think your calm voice would be quite welcome.

[outofdarkness]

Okay this is just seems odd to me. No one questioned anything?

 

I'm guessing the marriage is over. Does his wife know about the affair? And his kids were there. What did they think about it?

 

The Whole thing seemed Odd to me too..He told me we were going over to his cousins house,so I figured that it would just be his cousin there,not MOST of his cousins and their wifes & their kids! It felt VERY akward being over there,, I wasn't really expecting his family to be so accepting of the A..But i don't regret going over there either! Im not sure if his W knows about US,by now im sure she knows something is going on/he's cheating..Because he is NEVER home (works constantly,or when he isn't working he is spending time with me) or avoids W all together.SO how can she NOT know that something is going on?? Im sure IN THE PAST he has brought other women to meet his family,it would be stupid of me to think different.. NO his kids weren't there,His cousins kids were there..and we all know that kids talk ,so for the family to go about everything like NOTHING is going on is just wierd. Sure I shouldn't of sat in his lap when they were around,but we were enjoying each others company/being playful so why not?? Do you honestly think that they would have a PROBLEM with that if they didn't even care about him bringing me over there to meet them????? I think not.None of you OW can tell me that you are any better,or that your MM comes out smelling like a Rose.

PLEASE...do NOT assume that your MM's W knows of the A just b/c he's never home, etc...and often families will protect each other in situations like this. Perhaps infidelity runs in his family..You know, a genetic thing, like I said about my CH's Grandfather in an earlier post on this thread...Mabey they are just don't care...to each his/her own. It's not my cup of tea, to put it nicely but whatever floats your boat, I guess. I just really wanted to make it clear that MOST W's do NOT know of the cheating. CH's are VERY good liars, and GREAT at compartmentalizing...

[puddleofmud]

Not to be ugly or to assume: but the first thing I considered is that everyone MAY have been being polite because they have experienced this MULTIPLE times....and felt sorry for you...

Families accept their thorns...because they love and accept them no matter what and after a while they just may give up on deciding any one will be anything other than who they are!

My Dad's brother did this all the time. It broke my grandmother's heart but she never said a word at said gatherings but did so privately.

Hope this isn't the case with you and all works to your favor!

Best Wishes!

[forbidenlove]

I rarely tread into these waters but the title intrigued me enough to peek.

 

I honestly don't think that sitting in his lap or even kissing is so inappropriate. Sure I have limits, but I don't think those things crossed any double dividing lines or anything.

 

As for the family's acceptance I am assuming that his marriage is more over than you even know and wondering why you don't know if his wife knows or not. Something doesn't seem right, but I'm having a hard time pinpointing what it is. Is it possible he isn't even married at all? Far fetched that someone would pretend that but I read some pretty far fetched stuff around here, so I'll kick anything around as a possibility. It seems easier to understand than his family being so seemingly accepting of an affair.

NO he is married,Believe Me! As much as I would like him to not be he is..

 

1.)He ALWAYS wears his wedding band/ring when he is around me..

 

2.)There have been times were W has been home so he hasn't been able to contact me (note:We do call each other SEVERAL times a day ,since he has a cell phone)

 

3.) It seems like there is alot he is hiding from me though..He never talks about W,and I never bother asking about her,But from what it SEEMS they aern't happy..(and him pulling something like this/me meeting his family makes me think their M isn't what it is all cracked up to be,but then again I DON'T KNOW about their M..Allthough He has talked about the M like it was some Joke & has said negative things about W) but I don't live with them so I wouldn't know that..I just know that he really TRULY cares for me.

 

I wouldn't doubt that when we left things weren't said behind our back,It AMAZED me that his cousin's W was so accepting..she has small children and well can relate since she is married aswell,so I don't know...

 

Anyway Thank you for your insight,you seem like a really cool/non-judgmental person

[sb129]

FL- your last post was much better- it sounds like you aren't as naieve as I initially thought.

 

I am cynical as I have been thru all the dishonesty and hurt that can come with being the OW.

So sorry if I come across as judgemental, but I wish someone had warned me off my exMM long before I got so hurt.

[dropdeadlegs]

Anyway Thank you for your insight,you seem like a really cool/non-judgmental person

There is nothing to fear, I'm about as non-judgmental as they come. That comes from a background of shame, I'm afraid. I will have questions, but will try to temper them with understanding.

[IpAncA]

NO he is married,Believe Me! As much as I would like him to not be he is..

 

1.)He ALWAYS wears his wedding band/ring when he is around me..

 

2.)There have been times were W has been home so he hasn't been able to contact me (note:We do call each other SEVERAL times a day ,since he has a cell phone)

 

3.) It seems like there is alot he is hiding from me though..He never talks about W,and I never bother asking about her,But from what it SEEMS they aern't happy..(and him pulling something like this/me meeting his family makes me think their M isn't what it is all cracked up to be,but then again I DON'T KNOW about their M..Allthough He has talked about the M like it was some Joke & has said negative things about W) but I don't live with them so I wouldn't know that..I just know that he really TRULY cares for me.

 

I wouldn't doubt that when we left things weren't said behind our back,It AMAZED me that his cousin's W was so accepting..she has small children and well can relate since she is married aswell,so I don't know...

 

Anyway Thank you for your insight,you seem like a really cool/non-judgmental person

 

So FL, what is it that we can expect you and him to have in the relationship? Meaning, where do you want this to go?

[rdnkgrl31]

No I don't find it strange. Although, I did when it happened to me. I have been w/ mine for over a year. And I have met numerous friends and an uncle, who thinks I am great. His mom and sister know all about us. My MM and his W do not get along either. Same scenario, he avoids being w/ her as much as possible. So yes, I guess it does happen. Which makes you question wether or not he wants to get caught, so the W will make the move? IDK...

[Izzar]

No I don't find it strange. Although, I did when it happened to me. I have been w/ mine for over a year. And I have met numerous friends and an uncle, who thinks I am great. His mom and sister know all about us. My MM and his W do not get along either. Same scenario, he avoids being w/ her as much as possible. So yes, I guess it does happen. Which makes you question wether or not he wants to get caught, so the W will make the move? IDK...

 

Do you find it strange that your mm won't make the move? He'd rather take the wimp way out & have his wife do it? Just wondering.

[rdnkgrl31]

For the last 2 years, he has left her twice. Yes, I do wish he would do something. I find myself saying that if he was so unhappy he would leave. I guess when u tie property, money, finances and kids into the mix, it's easier said than done. O well, I know that I don't want to end it, yet. One day I will, but until then, I will be the OW, and enjoy what we have.