missy555 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Okay i will try to sum this up History I have never ever been able to trust a man. Each and everyone of them has betrayed me. Even my father. My longest relationship was 8yrs...last year got married and then divorced on the 9th yr. He left me for a girl 10 years younger. I took alot of therapy and found myself back in the dating world. Currently living with boyfriend of almost two years. His career involves him sometimes working out of the country. He left for a month and yesturday as I was transferring some files to his computer I found an email of a girl in the country where he is working at right now.That account should have been logged off but it wasn't. It was his homepage. She mentioned how much she "enjoyed her day and wants to get to know him better and to please keep in touch -kisses". He looked at that email and ignored several of mine. The day I saw that...instead of reacting (which never worked for me in the past) I completely did the opposite and told him how wonderful it is to be able to trust him and to know that I have nothing to worry about. He then told me how much that meant to him. Now here is my issue He comes home soon and I am already jaded. I want to welcome him with open arms but I will have serious doubts in the back of my head of what really happened. Again... there is no way for me to confront him since he already has issues with me being nosy in the past and never finding anything. We have had to work alot thru my distrust issues... and he has begged me to trust him....BUT now I just don't know... I would just love to have a guy tell me straight out that he met someone... but then again maybe he is afraid of how I may react. I don't know. My best idea right now is to stay calm and try to stay loving and see if I notice anything else evolve from whatever happened. I can't do anything else. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
whatnow1 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I would recommend that you confront him and ask him to tell you the truth. It's going to suck for a while but I think in most cases you know before you even confront the person how you want to handle it (leave, stay, etc). Trust your gut. Cheating is not the end of the world as long as he is still in love with you and can restore or reinvigorate that love. Guys normally aren't going to tell you straight what happened if they still love you or want to be with you. It's not until a guy decides that he just doesn't want to be with someone that he'll come clean on his own. Normally I would say you were wrong for being so nosy (since in the past you've searched but found nothing) but since you found something you are entitled to know what the deal is. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Well i am glad to say that I waited patiently and he actually came out and told me himself once i egged him on about being in another country surrounded by temptation. He told me exactly how this one girl was just asking so many questions about his work and she actually got his email thru a guestlist sign in. SO YAY! He again was straight forward with me which shows how much he respects me. YAY! my worries are slowly dissapearing. Link to post Share on other sites
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