Had an awsome weekend - yet left wondering...

[RedneckRomeo]

I had an awesome weekend, and though I thoroughly enjoyed the events that took place, it has now left me even more confused about how things are between me and a close friend of mine.

 

I've liked her a lot for a while, but never got the chance to go out on a real date. She has a busy schedule and doesn't get out much either. She had flirted with me a lot for a while but it took me so long to get up the nerve to ask her out that when I finally did, she sounded excited about it but it never happened because she was busy and soon got another boyfriend.

 

I took it as being blown off - because she said she wanted to but was busy and would let me know when she could. Well - she never mentioned another word about it, so I just let it drop and gave her and her new boyfriend distance (instead of trying to be close to her all the time, I backed off and really kinda tried to ignore them).

 

We got a little distant because of this, and one day I decide it wasn't worth it and would give up on a relationship. This didn't fix my feelings, but I was able to move on. Actually I found another girl I really liked, but this went sour and never materialized. My feelings for the first girl still persisted.

 

She kicked her boyfriend to the curb after a somewhat long relationship because she finally realized the jerk he really was that I saw the first time I met him. Slowly we started talking more, and she started to flirt a little again, but it hasn't gotten back to the original level it once was.

 

Then this past weekend, I found out she was finally going to have some free time. I found a local band we both liked and asked her if she was busy. Turns out she was already planning to go to the same place with friends, so decided to meet up there.

 

She messaged me during the day before the event and was really excited about getting together to party with me. Turns out she was already drunk at the time, which made for a very interesting night.

 

When the band started, she was one of the first on the floor. The songs werent really good for dancing, but she was so drunk it didnt matter. I, on the other hand, wasn't, so I waited for a good song and decided to join her.

 

Well, she grabs me and starts grinding right away - and things just went from there. She would grind occasionally, but seemed to enjoy grabbing me, pulling me into her, and humping me as hard as she could. Drinking makes her very horny it seems, and I didnt mind.

 

She did that with about 2 or 3 other guys too - but they all seemed like the player types or the kind with other girlfriends. They'd just dance with her when she was ready to go crazy with them, but she'd turn them away and they'd just go find another girl to grind on.

 

I know she did that humping thing to me at least 4 times, and I probably had my hand on her butt at least twice as many times. It was insane - I kept close to her to make sure she didnt get into trouble, but also so I could dance with her as much as possible.

 

It was so packed and so hot in the place that everyone was sweating up a storm. My hair was so wet at one point, that she decided to give me a mohawk and ordered me not to touch it. Also said I looked really hot with it - so how could I not listen?

 

Being that this is the first time in a while we've gotten to hang out together at a place with a party atmosphere, I don't blame her for wanting to get drunk and have fun. The confusing part is - the last few times we did get together, she never acted that way with me (horny and going crazy dancing with me) - drunk or no drunk.

 

So - I'm wondering - do you think things have gone back to how they were, is she into me as much as I thought before (and hope now), or was she just being a crazy messed up drunk friend?

 

Thanks

[charlotte101]

I definitely think she is interested... I say go for it before you lose your chance again and she dates another guy.

[RedneckRomeo]

Been thinking about how to do that all this week.

 

Haven't heard from her since last weekend, but no problem there. 1) She was drunk off her *** last weekend, and the text I sent most definitely was recieved but forgotten about by the time she was sober again. 2) She is extraodinarily busy. She has almost what you would call 2 careers and one side job. LOL. Her home life is very busy and always occupies a lot of her time. Her hobby takes up a huge section of it as well, and she has a monday to friday job on top of it all.

 

Anyway - I'm going out tonight, and I know she'll be there. Here's the deal. Last weekend, she had a pair of earrings on. Throughout the course of the night, she lost one. I found it on the floor, but only after I stepped on it. I put in in my pocket to hold for her, and was going to ask about her other one too - but she managed to lose that one also.

 

At the end of the night, after she left, I looked around to see if it was picked up and laid somewhere. Sure enough - I found it. So - now I had both earrings. However - I noticed the one I stepped on was broken - from my foot nonetheless.

 

So - here's what I did. I found a new pair of earrings - actually the same exact kind, but it was part of a set. So I bought the set, and I'm going to give it to her tonight. Nothing really expensive - but its identical to the pair she lost.

 

After I see how she feels about last weekend and the earrings, I might fish for something in return -say a dance or a date or something of the like. That trick is - finding her with free time.

[charlotte101]

Seriously, she is very lucky that she has you..... after hearing everything, I say give her the earrings and then tell her how you feel/ask her on a date.

[magda]

I agree that it looks like she may be interested. buying the earrings was sweet. good luck!

[RedneckRomeo]

So I saw her yesterday night. She was talking to somebody when I walked in, so I went and said hi to some of my other friends there. When she came over, first thing she said was 'what happened to your mohawk?' See - I don't remember if I said this or not - but last weekend it was so crazy and hot that she took my hair and formed it into a mohawk and told me not to touch it.

 

Well - figured I might as well take the opportunity to give her the earrings then, instead of waiting until later in the night. I first picked the old pair that I stepped on out of my pocket, and she was surprised and happy I found them. She knew she left them but didn't think she'd find them. I told her about stepping on them, and then I pulled the new ones out of my other pocket.

 

She said the usual stuff about 'oh, you didn't have to' and then said thanks for them and said it was sweet. We talked a lot about last weekend, though I didn't mention everything she did. As she was a bit drunk (a bit is definitely understatement), she remembered some, but not a whole lot.

 

So the night went on, and it was a good time, though not anywhere near how it was last weekend. Later in the night, the place we were at held a contest. I didn't sign up for it, but *someone* did. I know who actually signed me up, but when I found out about it, I was told that 'they' signed me up. Now I don't know who 'they' would be, but I can't help but think that this girl was part of the 'conspiracy' so she could see if I would do it (and so she could see me without my shirt if I DID do it - which I did). Either way - it was fun and got a good laugh out of it.

 

At the end of the night, I went to tell her goodnight, and she gave me a big hug and thanked me again for the earrings and again told me I was sweet. Got home and ready for bed and I got a text from her AGAIN telling me thanks for the earrings and that I was so sweet.

 

Also, during the course of the night, I didn't actually make a move and ask her out or for a dance yet - but I did find out the next time she's probably going to go out and party again like last weekend, so I can make sure to get together with her again. I am going to hang out with her and some other friends tonight, so I might get a little farther this time.

 

Anyway - looking pretty good - and the fact that she couldn't get the earrings off her mind makes me think she really liked it, and that it was the right way to go for me. A step in the right direction FINALLY.

[BlueEyedSarah]

Sounds like she likes you and your doing the right steps. Keep it up and good luck!

 

Keep us posted

[charlotte101]

Yay I am so happy for you! Goodluck and keep us posted

[Pink Amulet]

Wait, am I the only one missing the point that she was "grinding" with other men????

 

I would say she would give any thing with a d*ck a chance.

 

But good luck.

[RedneckRomeo]

Wait, am I the only one missing the point that she was "grinding" with other men????

 

I would say she would give any thing with a d*ck a chance.

 

But good luck.

 

 

 

I understand what you saw in that, and I agree that it was partially the case that night - but she was drunk and having a good time, plus those guys were after anything with boobs, not just her. It wasn't all the guys, just a handful, and it doesn't change my feelings on the matter. I try not to let it bother me, as she's entitled to a little fun too, and I've had my eyes full of other girls, yet I like her, and none of the others. I'd like to believe she feels the same way about it.

 

I was one of the men right there with her, and I feel I got a lot more than the other guys - not just with the grinding though - but the entire night, and then with the stuff that went on last night with the earrings.

 

In the end, it may all be a delusion, but I don't think it is, and I'll keep with it until I learn that it is. It seems like its going my direction this time at least, and it feels good.

[Sand&Water]

Reply:

 

You have a chance with this woman.

 

She likes the attention. She likes the attention you give her. She likes the attention given out by males. I think this is clear.

 

She likes the way you treat her. She likes your thoughtfulness.

 

But . . . if you continue to prolong the Big Spark On The Date You Have Yet to Have With Her then you'll hit a brick wall sooner rather than later.

 

She parties; works; school; friends; and she knows she can get pretty much everything she wants from a man because she is attractive and easy going.

 

What can you give/provide her?

 

There has to be a thrill in there somewhere. Otherwise, she'll easily move on.

 

I advice you to make sure that you aren't being played. She wants to see how well you'll play the game.

 

IF you're not into playing games, then you should strike soon -i.e. ask her out... do something! -very soon.

 

Sand&Water

[Erik]

Sand & Water is right. Never hesitate. For every prospect affair that is ruined by a premature move, I say at least ten or twenty affairs peter out or into 'friendship' from lack of initiative. This sounds like a pretty straightforward case. Next time, grab her ass firmly and give her your best snogging.

 

Pink Amulet has an important point, though. She's doesn't really sound like the cuddling and candling kind, ask yourself what kind of relationship you expect. I'd say go for her, she sound fun, but prepare for a bumpy ride. Your mother would probably tell you to stay the hell away, but it's none of her business, is it?

[RedneckRomeo]

It's been a while since I updated all of you. Anyway - the 'going after anyone with a ****' deal - she may have that night - but she was very very drunk. She doesn't get that drunk very often, most of the time she doesn't even drink. Its just she hadn't been out in a while and needed to party. Having known her a long time, I know that most of the guys she was dancing with that drunk night were just looking for fun and she was too - but it never went too far - just harmless fun.

 

She was recently on a trip with family and a couple friends/music partners - mostly for business, but also for a good time. I heard all about it from her when they got home - and she had a great time. She had a bit too much to drink one night, but didn't get TOO crazy down there. She did embarass her brother a great deal when they were there though. I found that hilarious.

 

When I saw her next - like I said - I heard all about the trip - and she kept saying how much fun it was and that I had to go down the next time. Said she wants to move there (though I really don't think she will be able to for a long time) and that when she does (really 'if' she does), she says I have to come visit and party with her. Next time she goes - she wants me to go along.

 

Anyway - I wanted her to go out to a band that would be a big party, and she was thinking about it at first, but then changed her mind. I tried to see if she wanted to do something else instead, but she was having some issues and wasn't going to be doing much until it was worked out.

 

I talked to her via text messages a good bit last week about everything that had happened with her and the problems, and she started to open up a little to me about it. She had worked things out, though it was still a bit weird between her and the other involved parties.

 

So - that brings us to now. I talked to her about her situation, and she is in a good mood about it all, though it is weird with her family (complicated situation) and she's alright living where she is - but doesn't really like it.

 

I have wanted to ask her for a slow dance for a while, but she has been turning everyone down lately - so I have been not asking her. And I've not really wanted to ask anyone else either - so I kinda just stood around for the slow dances. As the night neared the end, there was one song where I really wanted to dance with her, and I was actually going to go ask her if I caught her eye from across the room (where she was at the time).

 

Well - as it turns out, I did catch her eye, but at the time I wasn't sure if I did or not because there were a lot of people in the way. I lost where she was, and figured I missed her this time *again*, but instead, she came through the crowd my way and we actually did get the dance I was hoping for.

 

Anyway - it was great, and I found out while we were dancing that she has a lot more free time on her hands than she used to, sometimes too much and gets bored. But also she wants me to come over to where she is staying now and hang out.

 

I start a new job on Monday, and she has been wishing me luck, so I planned to text her after work, but I really don't call her much and thought it might be best to call this time, so thats what I'm gonna do after work. And maybe we can hang out that night or set something up for later in the week (once I get my schedule figured out).

 

Anyway - thats my update. Things are getting better, but I still havent had the nerve to just go up to her on the weekends and ask her out.

[2sunny]

i think it's time that you kiss her! go on! that way you'll find out if she's REALLY into you...

[RedneckRomeo]

haha - wouldn't I love to be able to, but how about I take it one step at a time. I think we should actually get a date or at least hold hands in a somewhat romantic fashion before a kiss. Plus - its taken me a while to get where I am, and until I get an actual private date with her or some other type of romantic action (cuddling, holding hands, etc) I won't be kissing.

 

I'm going to call her tomorrow afternoon/evening and try to set something up so we can get together and just hang out or go out somewhere now that she has a lot more time on her hands and not much to do. Before she would be very busy all the time - she had some time to herself, but it wasn't much and didn't happen too often.

 

Maybe I will kiss her soon - but waiting on the right time.

[blue16]

I must say I don't share the same opinion as the other people in this thread saying she's interested. You ask her to hang out...but she is always 'busy'...then you say she gets a boyfriend. So she has time for guys she is interested but no time for you?

 

Have you kissed her? Have you asked her out on a date? It almost seems like you're just waiting there hoping something will magically happen. You're the guy so unfortunately you're gonna have to make the move. Stalling, making excuses and justifications and 'waiting for the right time' are just gonna make things worse and increase the chances of you being in the friend zone.

 

My honest opinion? I think you're already in the friend zone...but that's just me. There's definitely a chance she COULD be interested, but we really won't know until you make a move.

 

Stop being her girlfriend...texting her all the time, 'hanging out' with her. If you wanna be more than friends you gotta take a step and either make a move physically or verbally ask her out. You say you're waiting for the right time? You gotta make the right time. She was drunk and grinding on you..? Kiss her then - I honestly can't think of a better time to test the waters on a girl than when they're drunk on the dance floor. Even if they shoot you down, it's no big deal cuz it's a crowded area with loud music and people get lost in the mood and stuff happens all the time.

 

I don't think her grinding with you didn't mean that much unfortuntely. Girls do that all the time, and to your testament she was doing the exact same thing with other guys. Hell I've made out with drunk girls who weren't interested in me at all, and vice versa. Don't read too much into what girls do when they're drunk and at the club, especially when how they're treating you is virtually identical to how she's treating the other guys.

 

I'm not saying that she doesn't think your a cool dude, I'm not saying she doesn't feel your a nice, considerate guy whom she enjoys spending time with. But just from reading your posts, I get the impression she thinks of you as a friend. But you never know, she hasn't given any negative signals yet so anythings possible. I think it's at least worth giving it a shot. There's two things you can do...

 

1) Continue being her 'friend'...waiting months and months to build up the courage and the 'perfect moment' in which to make a move...(which will just end up in rationalizations like "I would've kissed her then BUT...")

 

2) Just make a move now, ask her out...kiss her etc. so you can get a true answer to all of these intuitions. The longer you wait to find the perfect time, the higher chance she will think of you as just a friend.

 

I hope the above doesn't sound too harsh, but I didn't want to sugar coat anything and make it ambiguous. I am just trying to help because I've been in similar situations before and I know what to look for. Despite my negativity, I AM rooting for you But you gotta make a stand. The longer you linger as a friend, the lower probability of it developing into anything more...

[LucreziaBorgia]

I am inclined to agree with the above. If you don't make your intentions crystal clear, as in actually taking her on a real date and showing her one-on-one real sexual (not actual sex, but something that shows you are interested in it) attention (not grinding in a club, girls do that all the time - its mainly to draw attention from other people there and not necessarily from the person she happens to be dancing with) - then you will at the best be put in a 'holding pattern' in case she doesn't find someone else, and at worst planted firmly in the 'friend zone'.

 

Its time to ask her on a real date now - not 'hanging out' or 'getting some coffee' but a real actual date. Ask her out, and let her know you want to get some nice dinner reservations and perhaps see a movie afterward (this lets her know that she'll need to block out an entire evening of time, and lets her know that you want to have her exclusively to yourself for an evening). If she says she is 'busy' and can't make time for an actual date, but can 'hang out' here and there - then understand you are already in the friend zone and you'll want to decide whether to keep hanging out with a girl who won't ever date you, or if you want to move on to someone else.

[RedneckRomeo]

Alright...I'm reading and replying to the last 2 posts in a progressive manner as I write this..so bear with me.

 

In the past, I have asked her to do things. Sometimes she was busy (seriously), and other times she would be able to and would. Other times she had a boyfriend and would do things with them in her free time (what little she had). She acted before like she was interested in me, but I never made a move and thats when she got other boyfriends.

 

I haven't kissed her - no. But I haven't been in a situation where I would be able to without it being strange. And actually - yes, I have asked her out at one point. We had a mutual friend one time who was singing with her school choir, and she had asked this girl I'm talking about to go see her. Well, this girl then said about it to me because 'she didn't want to go alone', but she still wanted to go see her. We met there and sat together for the performance, and it was nice. Anyway - what I'm getting at here is as we were talking with our friend afterwards, she mentioned a place she really liked the food at.

 

So the next day while I was at work, I had the idea to ask her to go out sometime after work to get a bite to eat there. It wasn't very personal, as I sent it via text message, and I also left it a bit vague as to when because I knew her schedule was crazy. She responded saying it sounded like fun and that she would let me know when she could do it.

 

So - I waited. It was the next week I actually met her boyfriend, but I didn't know they were dating until a few weeks later. And, well, she never got back to me about that. I was pretty upset about it, and ended up not talking very much to her for a while. I never really liked him either - not just because he was dating her, but he really gave off a bad vibe and was a real jerk to other people.

 

I know I'm the guy and should make the move, but I'm also inexperienced and have been burnt a few times so I'm trying to figure it out as I go. Who knows about the friend zone. I may be there, but I see and feel so much more than I can write here, and I don't think that's the case. However - if thats true, I'm loving it and if I spend my whole life here - I could accept that fate, but I would rather not resign myself and am going to work to get more from life.

 

I used to just 'hang out', talk to her once in a while, have fun with her flirting and me seeing and hoping there was something more. I still feel there's more to our relationship than just friends. I tried once to put my feelings for her behind me and move on, and it worked for a while. But then they came back and are as strong as ever - and things between us have recently been getting better and better. I have her as one of my best friends (possibly the best one I have right now) and I'm encouraged by the success stories out there and my belief that your partner in life should be your best friend. Sure - there are failures, but if we concentrate on that - what have we to hope for?

 

I don't think of the grinding as much by itself - its just combined with everything else that has happened in the years I've known her that make it meaningful. Maybe I should attempt to kiss her when she's drunk on the dance floor, but she doesn't get that way often. Only certain times when she just has to let it all out.

 

I can tell you this - I don't plan on waiting months and months. I've already waited too long. With the way things are going between us lately, the next time I talk to her (was hoping to do that tonight, but I'm feeling about dead right now) I want to really ask her out - not via stupid text message, but personal and when she can respond in a way that I will be able to tell what she means. With a lot more free time on her hands, she wants to do more, and I don't have to try to work around her schedule as much as before. I never could figure out her schedule before well enough to actually do anything private with her - always on rare occassions when she was able to go party with a bunch of friends.

 

I understand what you're saying - I have to make a move before it's too late - if it's not already. I am getting more sure of myself and how she feels about me, so I expect I will be able to next time I talk to her.

 

And since the next post agrees - I don't have much to write back about that - just that yes, I understand what you're saying too. I need to ask her out and really show her I'm interested in her. If I keep just standing on the sidelines looking for the perfect moment - its possible that the perfect moment will pass right by without me ever realizing it. And come to think of it - I think I'll try her Wed night (I definitely know she's busy tomorrow night and won't be able to talk) and see what I can work out. Plus - I'll have some better stuff to talk about by then too.

 

Thank you all for the opinions, and support. I'm really enjoying what we have, but I want more. If I can get this to work out, I will be the happiest man in the world, but if not - I will always stand beside her as a true friend. She means too much to me to lose her, but if need be, I will let her go (in a romantic view).

[Quinch]

This sounds a lot like a friend of mine. She broke up with her b/f then invited all her friends out for drinks. She was totally hammered and was grinding and kissing every guy in the group (including me) but it didn't mean anything. She was just having some fun and trying to forget about her ex. Believe me, she may have appeared carefree on the surface but inside she was still in a lot of pain and this was just her way of dealing with it.

 

I'm afriad you are probably in the 'just a friend' category already. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing because she will always need you to be there for her when she breaks up with the next b/f. She needs to know that she can trust you because she can't trust anyone else and when you have g/f trouble she will be there for you. Boyfriends come and go but real friends are for life.

[RedneckRomeo]

That weekend I originally posted about - yeah, she was also totally hammered and she just wanted to have a good time. I understand that dancing/grinding with me doesn't have to mean anything, but to me, it did. I've had times I went and hung out with her before when she got pretty hammered as well, and it was different than that weekend at the beginning of March. She wasn't dealing with any traumatic events or breakups - just out to have fun, and I tell you..SHE DID!

 

But its not just this event. It's everything that happened before, and how things were pretty rough between us for a while, and then that weekend happened, and since then, things between us have just been...*WOW!* No other word to describe it.

 

We talk A LOT more than we used to. There have been times I went out with friends and she was there dancing. I was perfectly content watching at the moment - didn't really like the songs - but she would come over and make me go dance with her and everyone else. I have had a lot more time with her, and she is always telling me how something would look hot on me (ie she fixed my hair a certain way and told me not to touch it and that it made me look hot. She has said that I should get a certain hat because I would look hot. She wanted me to get an airbrush tattoo because it would look hot, etc.) She has talked about getting a party going and how I'd have to come. She said about me coming over to hang out (yes, she said hang out - but whats wrong with that?) She said about possibly moving far away and that I had to come stay with her and party for a while. And I haven't had a slow dance in a while - so I was hoping to catch her eye and suggest we dance, but never could. She was with some other friends, and I somehow managed to catch her eye, but it was too crowded to suggest anything so I just looked away, and she came over to me and we went out on the floor to dance after all.

 

I feel I know her deep down inside, and though she isn't ready to tell me every single thing that has happened with her family lately - she assured me that she would someday.

 

I will see her Saturday, and I have a lot to talk about. I'm going to try to set a night when we can meet where she is staying now, as I can alter my route to pass right by her place without going out of my way. Maybe we'll stay in and 'hang out', or maybe we'll go out and get something to eat or do something else.

 

Whatever the case - I know we're much better friends than before, and I can see us growing closer, and hope that we can date soon. She is beautiful, but there is so much more to her than just her looks. She is an amazing person, and one of my closest friends. If we are in the friends zone, so be it. She means so much to me. But I really feel and believe that we are headed to something more beautiful that 'just friends' could ever become.

 

So thank you for your opinion, but I must continue on the course I have set - getting to know her better, getting to see her more, and trying my best to ask her out on an actual date as soon as possible. Just friends or possible lovers, I don't know yet, but I am going to enjoy finding out as much as I can.

[blue16]

So thank you for your opinion, but I must continue on the course I have set - getting to know her better, getting to see her more, and trying my best to ask her out on an actual date as soon as possible. Just friends or possible lovers, I don't know yet, but I am going to enjoy finding out as much as I can.

 

A copout - but as you wish.

[RedneckRomeo]

Ah - yes. But you are not living the life I am right now. Sure - some of you may have had similar experiences, but its the circumstances that matter.

 

When I first started this thread, I wasn't sure as to what was going to happen. Things were great and I hoped they would get better and that the good things that were happening to me wasn't just in my imagination.

 

Well, now I'm almost 2 months removed from that weekend, and I either was right, or still believe I am right, about everything. We have always been good friends, but I have talked to her more and about deeper things in the last 2 months than I have in any 2 months all the time I have known her.

 

Just from everything that happened lately - I am almost certain she is looking for the same thing as I am - and with any luck, something is going to happen soon. I am somewhat shy at times, so I move very slow, but I can just feel it ready to happen...

 

So - that's why I still need your opinions, and I will accept your advice, but also why my mind is so sure right now that I'm not in the dreaded 'just friends zone' and that I really feel she likes me back just about as much as I like her.

 

Everything happens for a reason - and I can see how everything I've had to deal with in life has led me to this point - and I'm glad I have lived the life I have and wouldn't change anything that has ever happened.

[Mary3]

You must NEVER be a girls buddy if you have ANY romantic feelings from the beginning.

 

If she was a buddy for 3 years and *suddenly* you feel something stronger then thats not too bad.

 

* But * if you have always had romantic intentions and keep waiting for her to end it with boyfriends and this crisis and that crisis then you are going to land in the friends zone.

 

I sincerely hope you get what you want out of this.

 

But I noticed a pattern here where you meet up with her because you know she will be there as opposed to just asking her out on a date.

 

Sounds like she is a party girl and may or may not want something special with you.

 

Please don't say " Oh ,I will continue to be close to her because she is my beautiful friend " ( excuse ) If in fact you are willing to be a buddy forever and WHERE does that leave the rest of your LIFE ?

 

Good luck seriously. I hope she sees you and you both can be happy.

[Teddy and Jane]

You don't want this woman.

 

1. I think she has a drinking problem.

 

2. She acts like the town slut out at parties. You don't want yourself associated with her. I'm sure all those guys and people who saw her at the party are thoroughly disgusted with her and not at all impressed. She's trash. Sorry.

[RedneckRomeo]

If only you really knew her - you'd know that she doesn't have a drinking problem and she isn't trash or the town slut. She just likes to have a little fun every once in a while. And that means she rarely drinks, and when she does, she gets drunk and dances with all the guys, but she was always so busy - she's allowed to have a good time when she gets to go out - isn't she?

 

Now - the buddy thing.

 

We knew each other in elementary school and were friends. After a few years, we ended up in different schools and I didn't see her again until after high school. Right away, it felt like we had always been friends the way she treated me. We became good friends again right away, but I kept thinking it would be nice to get closer to her and possibly pursue a relationship. But also - I knew we were only friends at the time and she had boyfriend.

 

She was very busy, and I was very shy. She did have boyfriends on and off, but they didn't stick around because she was occupying her time with other important things. I don't blame her either. If you knew her, and what she is trying to accomplish in life, and what she was taking care of before, you would understand.

 

But it meant a lot for me to meet her and have a good friend from the start, so I hung on through all the ups and downs I've had regarding her. My feelings for her only grew, and I kept trying to find a way to ask her out, but have ran into problems with her schedule a lot (and it was for real - not just a story to get out of it), and other times it was my shyness that was the problem.

 

I know she was brought into my life for a reason, and my ultimate goal with our relationship is to discover this reason. She is a dear friend, but also the best thing that has ever came into my life. She was exactly what I needed when I needed it, and having her in my life is a continual blessing. I am very happy with everything that has happened, and where I see it going.

 

Pattern? I only did the 'meeting her at places' bit because I had been really attracted to her (looks and personality both) but have been so shy and inexperienced that I was afraid to ask her out for real. The one time I did actually ask her to go out with me after work sometime did land a very favorable response, but never materialized.

 

I had given up on her at one point because we had basically not talked for a long time (maybe a Hi or Goodbye here or there - but besides that nothing) and I was tired of excuses. But now I've realized that they weren't just excuses, and that I really do have a chance if only I can find the right time and actually ask her (without being vague about it too).

 

She is a party girl at times, but she also is a down-to-earth girl at heart. We have a lot in common, and we get along great. I like the party side of her, but I also have seen the other side of her and that is also very interesting to me. She is everything I could have asked for, and more.

 

I consider the friendship we have now as something special. It means so much to me to have her in my life. I deeply desire to become closer and get to know her better while being able to show her how I really feel and getting that love returned.

 

If for some reason it were not possible to get a romantic relationship with her, I would be disappointed but would be happy at the same time because she is such a special person in my life and I am so fortunate to know her the way I do.

 

Thanks for your insight. I appreciate it all because it allows me to really search myself and makes me even more sure about what I want and how happy I am with were I am and where I am going with this girl.

 

It's been a rollercoaster ride at times - ups and downs, but full of thrills and surprises. And its only just beginning...