hopelessly devoted?

[Enough]

When i was 17 i lost my virginity to a guy i was in love with, he was everything i couldve wanted, cute, flirtatous and fun, and i loved the fact that he was 5 years older than me, it felt like iwas mature (dumb i know. Even though he lend me on in so many ways, i discovered a little too late that he didnt and would never love me, it hurt and i never recovered from his judgemental was.

 

I didnt understand why he put me through it when he had no intention for taking it seriously, after he knew i valued us enough to give up something i wanted to save for marriage. I have moved on since then, once (dont count it as anything special, summer fling with i call "i was curious to see what someone else was like), but i still think about him, and i dont like it.

 

i saw him again after 3 years of not speaking, and i didnt know what my heart and brain we're doing, cause they've seemed to have a little meeting and the jury is still out on how i feel.

 

I feel that i would go there again physically, because he;s still the best i've ever had, and i dont feel like having anymore failed relationships, BUT, he has a girlfriend. Shes the simple girl, the one i think ever man would want to take home to mom, uncomplicated and attractive, if this was sex an the city, she would be natasha. she's my biggest competition yet, and i hate her because she has the guy i think im still in love with.

 

I still feel that their something there, but i also kick myself because when he asked me questions about us indirectly, i put up a sheild and lied about my feelings to protect my pride. I dont know what i should do. I want to either lure him back (which i know with never work), or get over him completely...but after 3 years it still hasnt happened and im afraid it wont. If he contacts me after this week should i be honest? or should i wait for fate....or just let some more time go by.

[norajane]

He's not the best friend you ever had - he led you on, and hurt you, and he hasn't been in contact with you for 3 years.

 

You were young when you got involved, you fell for him really hard, and yes, that means you're still going to have confused feelings for him. But trying to lure him away from his girlfriend is a loser's game, because even if you get him, all you know is that he's the kind of guy who will cheat or dump his gf for something better.

 

You must let this go, and be more careful with your heart next time. Don't allow your immediate feelings of attraction, infatuation, or in love to lead you into relationships...those aren't based on really knowing a person. Take your time before giving your heart away.