i need to say goodbye

[butterflyz]

hi everyone!

 

i thought long and hard about something. i read in a post last night that one needs to put up a wall to get rid of someone.

 

well, i have realized for a long time that someone who i want out of my life may be also posting on this board. i tried to stay thinking that he would realize that this is where i go. i came here before he entered my life. but in order to get rid of him, and not relay any confusing messages to him, i need to leave the board, for now.

 

while i post on this board he is going to think that i am in "communication" with him, when that is not the case. he's good at rationalizing. like he thinks i need time alone to heal and get ready for him, when i am ready to move on with my life and take care of some personal things without a man in my life. one day i will find my mate, but it won't be him. he has revealed his true colors and they don't match my decor. he thinks he did everything for "love". he doesn't know what love is. love doesn't destroy, but his sick obsession does.

 

we don't play life by the same set of rules. what he thinks i should take as a compliment, sickens me.

 

we don't mesh. well, he'll say that i am being a commitment phobe and i say that if he revealed himself for who he really was early on, none of this would have happened. he did this to himself. that's what happens when you conceal the truth, it comes back to bite you. when you play, you pay.

 

i will return here some day, when i know he has gotten out of my life. which i hope is soon.

 

take care everyone, happy holidays!

[Tony T]

I think it's truly pathetic that you have to rearrange your life, avoid websites, and do other things just because of some total butthole you don't even care about.

 

It really doesn't make sense to me...but don't feel bad...I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

I never change myself for anybody, unless it's a behavior I personally agree is negative, obnoxious or unproductive. But to stop doing the things I love to do...no way Jose!!!

 

People can kiss my butt if they think I will ever in a million years give them the kind of power it takes to control my life in any way. If every woman in the world wants to come to LoveShack and read my posts, they are certainly welcome. And nothing about my life or my posts will change.

 

Sometimes I think I'm really way off base. When I read a post like the one above I feel that maybe there's something about life I'm just not understanding.

 

But, until I get it, people can kiss my royal hiney if they think I'm going to bow to them and change anything about my life because of them.

[Just A Girl2]

It was one thing when you claimed that this guy had somehow arranged it so that when you went on a trip to the big ol' big apple, you had no choice but to stay at the same hotel as him, and in the room next door, no less.

 

It was one thing when you declared that he's trying to "alter your mind"..and that he went so far as to ?contact all the radio and tv stations (or however you worded it), so that he could convey "messages" to you through these mediums.

 

Now you're paranoid and thinking he's here and reading what you post, and because of this, you have to leave.

 

What are you going to think next? That he's communicating to you through your pet?

 

If *I* really believed that someone who was supposedly 'obsessed' with me, and that he might be reading what I'm writing in a forum such as this, I sure as hell wouldn't give him the satisfaction of making a big dramatic "goodbye" post. I'd simply leave, say nothing..or I'd change my name and continue to post...just being careful not to reveals all the details of your life that you do here.

 

From what I can see, you're the only one who can't seem to let go. It's like you thrive on keeping him (to whatever capacity) in your thoughts, and life.

 

I agree you should take a break from this place.....but only so that you have more time to seek professional help for your paranoia, obsessions, ?delusions, constant need to be a 'victim', etc. Good grief!!

[butterflyz]

Hi All!! Wanted to wish all of you a happy holiday and new year.

 

An update on my story:

Trying to rebuild. Trying to reach out to new friends. Went to a house of worship to start meeting people with hearts. We'll see what happens.

 

Psycho man is still psycho. Still using boss, coworkers to spy on me and try to manipulate me to giving him a chance. I don't want to say second chance. Reason being is that the person he presented himself to be to me, doesn't exist. So this is a first chance, that he will never have. Like most men, he doesn't take what I say seriously. But he'll have to learn the hard way. And it will be my pleasure to teach it to him.

 

He still has me watched by various people, I'm sure some I don't even know personally. Still feel like I'm in prison because of the watching. I don't understand the psychology of someone who thinks that their "prisoner" is going to be wooed by being suffocated and spied on. But since he is a know-it-all, he doesn't see the error of his ways. Anyone have any ideas about why someone doesn't see this?

 

In fact, in an attempt to absolve himself of the responsibility of ruining my life, he's now trying to convince people that I'm some "angel" from heaven who was sent to make him see the error of his ways. ha. I'm sure some people will buy it. But we all know the real reason for what he did. His insecurity and possessiveness made him try to knock me down a peg, so I would "need" him. But in the end, I still don't need him. :-)

 

I've learned a big lesson from this: background check, background check, background check. No more freaky surprises for me. He thinks I talk about him cause I care. Not it. I talk about him in the context of what has happened in my life and what I need to learn from this: alot. I don't care for him. I don't even know him. The real him. I just can't believe that people buy his bullsh*&. It is so obvious to me now what a liar he is. I can't believe I never saw it. But then again, years ago I was drawn to awful guys like him.

 

Besides the fact that he commited a number of crimes against me: I don't have the patience to deal with someone with the extent of personality disorders that he has. And I never will. I don't feel like living a life under surveillance because of his paranoia. I don't want to deal with someone who has to do things a certain way because of hypochondria. I don't want a child of my own, let alone a child from a previous marriage. I don't know him, but he has to be draining as hell.

 

2003 will be the year for me. I will give to myself and love myself. This is my chance. I'm on a different path now. One that psycho man can't relate to or even access. He will try to "out wait" me. He can wait as long as he wants. I am not interested in him or anything that he has to say: now or a year from now.

 

Has anyone ever known someone so pathetic that they feel like they need to bully someone into liking them? Keeping a constant presence in their life in hopes that eventually you get used to them being there and just cave in? Not gonna happen here. But like I said, he 's going to have to learn the hard way.

 

I guess his purpose in my life to teach me to stand strong and endure against evil. And don't settle for less in the qualities I am looking for in a man. I will be the one who prevails here. I know that I will meet a man (preferably close to my age) who is kind, gentle, humble and knows his boundaries and doesn't interfere with my life. oh, and no kids. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. I like being "auntie" to kids of friends - it's part time. But I have never had the urge to have kids of my own. Never a strong urge.

 

Oh, and the other lesson I have learned is to pick your friends wisely.

 

Hope you are all doing well. I will check back next year.

[Kat]

I totally understand you. I have left forums in fear of my X finding me, and I have had to leave three irc servers because my X will follow me, and harrass the people I chat too and myself.

 

Yes it sucks you have to do that but they won't bloody change and they don't care.

 

Good luck with life!