Ready for a Relationship?

[mimi]

Hello,

 

Ok, about 3 weeks ago I met this fascinating man at a pub and we hit it off immediatly, then I was dragged off by my freinds.

A week after that, in the same spot, I met him again, we hit it off and spent the ret of the evening together talkign about family values. I ended up back at his property and one thing led to another, and I woke up next to him.

 

Here is the thing, he is seperated from his wife for the past few months waiting for the divorce to go through. So in the meantime, he is living in a nice hotle near my house. He aslo has a young son who he loves very much, and stays with him sometimes.

 

When this man calls me, he usually calls fairly late at night , about 10:00 pm and then picks me up. I know he works about 15 hour days and is very busy with his farm. I get a little impatient sometimes, and wonder when he will call to do something other than "hang out in the hotel".

Well, he is very good at calling when he says he wil, but last night he hadn't called yet , so i decided to call him. He was busy helping a freind, and I asked "Well, what are you doing after?" and he replied " Oh, my freind is going to take us out for beers for helping him". OK, so although I try to hint to him that I'd like to see him, he deosnt take the bait. I find this very difficult in all of our conversations, because he wont ask me straight out "Hey can I come pick you up and we can watch a movie?". I can't determine whether this is shyness, or what? Or maybe he's not that into me,

So anyways, after that call last night, I called him back 2 minutes later, and asked ", Do you not want me to call you? Or do you not want to hang out with me anymore?", I had to know where I stood, so he replied that he did want to see and talk to me again. The he said "Gee, this is a weird phone call". He didn't sound too impressed.

I know I should play it cool, because he just ended a 8 year relationship where his wife who cheated on him, but sometimes I dont know where I stand, cause he is always so busy, and he is started to not call when he says he will!

 

So i told him i'd be busy the next few days, so maybe he'll call later, but what should I interpret from this guys behaviour, or should I just let it ride, call him tonight (even though I said i had plans) ??? Help!

Thnks!!!!

[Fiona]

We've all been in this situation! Some guys have major communication/commitment issues. I know it will be hard but I really suggest that you leave him alone for a few days, get on with your own life, and wait for him to initiate the next stage. You clearly want more of out this relationship than he does, so the key is to play it cool until he realises he wants the same thing. Ringing him back straight away, demanding he change his plans or spend more time with you, and hassling him about how much attention he gives you will only scare him away, especially at these early stages. If he thinks you have a life of your own, that you're harder to get than he originally anticipated, he'll want to work harder for your attention (and that means movie nights, not just drinking nights!). Good luck.

[Just A Girl2]

Seems awfully strange to me that he's been "separated for the past few months/waiting for a divorce" and living in a hotel. Even the most seedy hotel, it would be horribly expensive.

 

I suspect he's handing you a line of bull....about being close to getting this divorce/having been separated for all this time, and that their marriage ended due to his wife cheating.

 

Based on how he never calls you til late, he never wants to 'be seen in pubic' or go out anywhere with you, other than to hang out in his hotel room...the way he was on the phone with you...the fact that he's living in a hotel...I'd be more inclined to suspect that HE was caught cheating on his WIFE..and she booted his butt out, not that long ago......and he's staying in a hotel for a bit until they can sort things out/patch things up. If it was his wife who was the one who cheated, why didn't SHE leave their home? A lot of weirdness here. Don't be naive.

 

Don't believe everything a stranger you meet in a pub tells you. For all you know, he's got a few other gals on the go. I don't mean to upset you, but any way you look at this situation, it's not a good one. And what kind of place is a hotel, for a child to be spending any time? He sounds like a loser with baggage and tale tales.

 

Don't sit there waiting for this bum to call you.......you're not desperate, right? Get some self respect, take note of the 'red flags'.....and move on.