InLoveForSure Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 My Boyfriend whom I love dearly absolutely CANNOT STAND one of my good friends. I admit that she is a bit rude, mostly because she is so blunt, but I am used to this. MY BF just moved over a thousand miles to live with me, and we are happy as can be. But as he gets to know my friend, he dislikes her more and more. Her bluntness offends him and makes him very uncomfortable around her. Now she is constantly asking why we dont come around and she never see us. I need to bring this out into the open, but I have no idea how to approach this! Can anyone help? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 Do you have to have your bf with you every time you see your friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author InLoveForSure Posted November 20, 2002 Author Share Posted November 20, 2002 Well no, but we all play a sport on the same team, so he comes in contact with her at least once a week for that. The major problem is bringing this up with my friend, and having a happy ending Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 Just tell you friend that you value the friendship and that you love your friend and your bf, but realize that there is a personality clash there. Tell her you don't want to take sides and you don't want to force them to be together if they don't want to be. Make some dates for you and your friend to hang out and time for you and your bf. The way he feels about her has no bearing in how you feel about her and she just needs to know that. It's pretty common for one person to care about two people who don't care about each other. It often happens that when one person begins dating, they spend less time w/ their old friends. When they are together with their date AND their old friends, their attention is split and the friend and s/o can become resentful of each other. It's pretty common, but if you respect their feelings and tell them that if they care about you then they need to respect your feelings, you should be able to work out a compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 very eloquently put, HR … you shouldn't have to give up a friendship just because your SO doesn't mesh with that person. If anything, he should respect your friendship, and unless she's dragging out and forcing you to do things that aren't good, he needs to just leave well enough alone. I've never thought that giving up your friends solely to please a lover/SO/spouse was a good idea if this person isn't really a threat to your relationship otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
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