Young&Sexy21 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 hear ye, hear ye. All you NC advocates, you're dead wrong. No contact, in the right context might be good...but it is immature and in the end, solves nothing. If you can't say what you have to say directly or whatever---that's weak. Avoiding the problem is like sweeping dirt under the rug. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Excellent. I'm glad that's been cleared up. On to the next misunderstanding, then. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 In this context, it isn't immature: When the guy who dumped you insists he still loves you, keeps talking sweetly to you, acts like your bf when you see each other (i.e. cuddling, kissing, telling you you're sexy and beautiful), gets jealous if you talk to or date other guys, but then still insists he isn't ready to be in a relationship with you. Then NC is great. It's the guy who's being immature because he is afraid of commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 In this context, it isn't immature: When the guy who dumped you insists he still loves you, keeps talking sweetly to you, acts like your bf when you see each other (i.e. cuddling, kissing, telling you you're sexy and beautiful), gets jealous if you talk to or date other guys, but then still insists he isn't ready to be in a relationship with you. Then NC is great. It's the guy who's being immature because he is afraid of commitment. Whoa sounds familiar Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 in that context so is not being able to take no as an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 It isn't a "no"....it's a "wait and see." There's a difference. So when being told to "wait and see" it's far easier to just say to hell with it, and move on. The best way to do that is "out of sight, out of mind." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Young&Sexy21 Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 Okay stace, score one for NC. My ex broke with me two months ago over something that was important to her, and I respect that. She thought we could be friends which, at first, I didn't agree with. But I soon told her that I didn't want to lose her even as a friend. I took two months, saying hi to her now and then, her family would come by my shop and talk to me...yesterday I finally felt I was over it all and ready to proceed as friends. So I send her a text message: I ask your forgiveness, but not for you to forget what's happened...I enjoyed your company, will you continue to share it with me, obviously not as much as before...if no, I'll leave you in peace. Please let me know. No responce. I was direct and she avoided it completely. If she wants to push me out of her mind and act like whatever...I think given the circumstances she's being overdramatic and very immature. I'm not hung on it, I'm just kind of hurt by it. She could have at the very least said to me "no, I don't want that any more" or whatever. NC, and being indirect with someone who is direct with you, is weak and immature. The defence rests. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I get your point of view...my guy feels the same, that if I don't want to talk to him anymore that I should say so. But really that's just his way of controlling me even more....by saying that I should have the respect to "let him know" that NC is what I'm doing. Nothing personal, but screw that. If I decide I just don't want to see or speak to someone ever again, that's perfectly within my right to do so. I'd say the maturity argument works both ways....if you think it's immature, just let it go and be the bigger person. But for some people, that's what they need. If I let my guy know that I was going NC, all that would do would be to instigate another long drawn out painful conversation about how much he loves me, needs me, yada yada yada. I can't have another one of those convos, ya know? It solves nothing. He wants me in his life, but only on his terms. And many women (and men) are rightfully not cool with that. Okay stace, score one for NC. My ex broke with me two months ago over something that was important to her, and I respect that. She thought we could be friends which, at first, I didn't agree with. But I soon told her that I didn't want to lose her even as a friend. I took two months, saying hi to her now and then, her family would come by my shop and talk to me...yesterday I finally felt I was over it all and ready to proceed as friends. So I send her a text message: I ask your forgiveness, but not for you to forget what's happened...I enjoyed your company, will you continue to share it with me, obviously not as much as before...if no, I'll leave you in peace. Please let me know. No responce. I was direct and she avoided it completely. If she wants to push me out of her mind and act like whatever...I think given the circumstances she's being overdramatic and very immature. I'm not hung on it, I'm just kind of hurt by it. She could have at the very least said to me "no, I don't want that any more" or whatever. NC, and being indirect with someone who is direct with you, is weak and immature. The defence rests. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 wait and see means NO at least for the time being. Its only less direct, less confrontational and keeps people hanging on hoping. Wait and See also stops alot of people from moving on and exploring other options. Wait and See is selfish, destructive in the long run regardless of what happens. Wait and see is false hope. Link to post Share on other sites
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