How do you honestly feel about over weight people

[PuppyDogEyes]

I do think that there is a stigma against the overweight and obese present in a lot of societies. It's not always about what you eat or how much - I know of quite a few people that are greatly overweight due to medical conditions and the medicines that they take (diabetes is a condition that springs to mind, but I know there are others).

 

It is very possible to be overweight and healthy, although the chances decrease dramatically as the weight increases. Blue Phoenix, if you feel that you are healthy at the weight that you are, I have no reason to doubt you, and I would accept your statement. However, those who are telling you that excess weight equals health problems - or the potential risk of such - are more or less correct. Excess weight creates strain on your internal organs, everything from heart to kidneys to liver and back again. You might feel perfectly fine now, and that's all well and good - but the risk of problems developing later in life is definitely there.

 

I will be 35 years old in a couple of weeks, and I have more or less been overweight all of my life. And if you don't think I feel it, you're thinking incorrectly, because I am. I am beginning to see health problems develop - everything from circulation to breathing - and I'm only lucky that I still have a chance to stave off these difficulties by yes, exercising. I've lost a lot of weight in the last year by exercise and by eating correctly, and believe me, I can feel a major difference, even now. This is the only way I'm going to head off potential problems down the road.

 

U wanna be a whale n live the high life go ahead.

you seem very hostile litten up arnt you people suposed to be jolly.

 

It is statements such as the ones above that prove Blue Phoenix correct in her assertion that a stigma exists against the overweight and the obese. It’s fine that it disgusts some people, that’s great, but how do statements such as the above help the person with the problem? It creates a cycle of self-loathing and self-blame. One of the reasons that I was so hesitant to join a gym was because of intense fear that I would go to work out and I would run into the very people who would say such things as quoted above.

 

I finally decided, “Hey, **** them. At least I’m doing something about it. I might be ‘ugly’ in body, but they’re ugly in mind. Which is easier to fix?”

 

What annoys the piss out of me is when I see people who want us to accept obesity as a specially protected class.

 

I am in total agreement with this statement. Special accommodations shouldn’t be made for what is controllable, and this is more or less a control issue (unless a pre-existing medical condition is the cause, which in that case it would be covered under the ADA, anyway).

 

For myself, I couldn’t care less what someone puts in their mouths. That might sound pretty selfish, but I’m more worried about myself and my self-image and esteem than anything. If someone is 100 pounds or 400 pounds, that’s their choice – it doesn’t affect me one way or the other.

 

- pde.

[alphamale]

we must also keep in mind the times. in past history it was considered a status symbol to be overweight or obese. many kings and queens were "plus size" cause they had a lot to eat. back then if you were skinny it meant your were poor and didn't have a lot to eat therefore you were worthless. funny how times change.

[Erik]

227 seven posts!?! How hard can it be? Weight matters not one bit, unless we're talking sex.

[RecordProducer]

I've lost a lot of weight in the last year by exercise and by eating correctly, and believe me, I can feel a major difference, even now. This is the only way I'm going to head off potential problems down the road.

 

It is statements such as the ones above that prove Blue Phoenix correct in her assertion that a stigma exists against the overweight and the obese. It’s fine that it disgusts some people, that’s great, but how do statements such as the above help the person with the problem?

Very nice post, PDE. See, when someone is realistic, there is no need to open their eyes.

 

I don't have a problem with people living their lives the way they want to, but I do have a problem when somebody asks for an honest opinion and then calls me ignorant about my opinion, because I said that excessive weight is ugly and unhealthy. I've never told anyone anything about their weight, but if you ask, I'll tell you what I think.

 

"Tell me honestly... do I look good in this dress?"

 

"Honestly... I think you look like a whore... put another dress on."

 

"You called me a whore? So you want to tell me how to dress? You think we should all be dressed like you? You're ignorant and narrow-minded! There is nothing wrong with my dress. I just look sexy. It doesn't matter hopw I am dressed, cuz I am not a whore, I am a good, smart girl. And the comparison with a whore really proves how ignorant you are!"

[erika2610]

The retarded comment was kind of offensive, RP., and you saw nothing wrong with a comment like that?

[ash519]

I am new to this and have only read bits and pieces but here is my opinion: What do I think when I see overweight people? I think "I would hate it if i were that overweight!!!" I am 5'8" 125lbs and would love to lose 5-10 lbs, I have a small frame...but regardless i know i am thin.

 

No matter what anyone thinks, being overweight IS unhealthy. Doctors say it all the time, when it comes to heart conditions, it is usually smokers and people who are overweight. Whether or not you eat to be overweight or you just are and cant help it, it is unhealthy. There is a recommended BMI to avoid heart disease and other illnesses so it is in peoples best interest to lose weight if they can. That is just a FACT! No disputing that one.

 

I also think about how they got to that point and wonder if they care or if they are trying to fix it. But in no way to I discriminate. I have overweight friends and I talk to people of any height, weight, or color.

[Blue Phoenix]

--"Very nice post, PDE. See, when someone is realistic, there is no need to open their eyes"-- Who ever said I am unrealisitc I have said before like 10 billion times in this thread but I will yet again that I AGREE SOME TIMES OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE CAN HAVE AND DO DEVELOPE HEALTH PROBS FROM THE WEIGHT THEY CARRY!!!!! There you go I honeslty dont know how else to package that sentance to make people read it. RP you can never "open some ones eyes" by makeing hurtfull and ingorant comments towares them it just dosent work and in the end makes you look bad thats all. Perhaps you should try a little more tact next time you try and open some ones eyes about a subject you will I'm sure find its taken much better and gets you further with your ideas. I liked your post puppydogeyes it was honest and not damming or judgemental. And coming from some one whos delt with being larger all there life I have a great deal of respect for you. I hear what your saying and you may be right I may find later in life that the extra weight has caused me more probs then good. That actualy dose make sence seeing as our bodys age they in essence start to break down. But as of right now I am healthey for my weight I can walk/hike/run I walk at least 2 hours a day now alomost every day and dont even break a sweat realy. I think most here find that impossible but its realy not if you have been obese your entire life you learn how to take care of your self being so and you adapt to it wich I have and for now its ok for me. I am in total agreement with this statement. --"Special accommodations shouldn’t be made for what is controllable"-- Belive it or not I do agree with that and have always agreed. Just like a few other things I agree with I pay more in genral for my clothing being plus size. But in reallity it takes more materal to make them so I should pay more I except that. I even agree to a degree about obese people paying higher health premiums again seeing as there is the poental for greater health risks then that is just how it should be. The things I do not agree with is the fact that many times in the work place over weight people are often payed much less for the exact same job they can do just as well as a thin person. And yes it has been proven that this happends time and time again. Thats if the obese person even has a decent chance after the interviewer sees them and yes that happends as well they decide not to hire them only based on there looks. And the thing I most of all cannot stand is ingorance and comments filled with nothing but hate aimed at obese people simply because we are diffrent or maybe in some ones eyes uguly or not as good as the rest of sociaity.--"BP you are kinda cutting down thin people as well. You may not realize it"-- No a4a I'm realy not and if it comes off that way then I'm sorry its not my intention..

 

--"You think I am thin because I am so stupid to fall for medical and media hype and the money making"-- machine.

Not at all while I do think that many thin people are stuck in that mind set I do not clump you all there..

You think I am stupid for thinking that obese people are not healthy.

Again not at all thats your opinion and I respect that I just ask that people dont make blanket statments about me personaly before they ever meet me..

You seem to think everyone who is thin is out to scream nasty words at fat people.

Again no but sadly as you have seen here in this very thread its more common then not..

[Blue Phoenix]

--"227 seven posts!?! How hard can it be? Weight matters not one bit, unless we're talking sex"-- I dont really follow you Erik about the 227 posts thing?? But far as the sex thing goes being over weight dosent realy inhibate personal relashionships. Like I have said before I have had my share of bfs and even come close to marrage once. So no just being over weight dosent mean we lose out on sex or more important love. Now if your refering to the prefrance or lack of that some may have to haveing a sexual relashionship with a obese person. Then thats compleatly up to them its not for every one. And I would never be offended if some one turned me down baised on that alone. Its simply about whos attracted to who in this world. There are a good maney men who like and actualy prefer obese women to thin ones. There are men who like bouth and there are ones who only date thin to avarage. Its all in your personal attractions in the end really..

[Blue Phoenix]

"Tell me honestly... do I look good in this dress?"

 

"Honestly... I think you look like a whore... put another dress on."

 

"You called me a whore? So you want to tell me how to dress? You think we should all be dressed like you? You're ignorant and narrow-minded! There is nothing wrong with my dress. I just look sexy. It doesn't matter hopw I am dressed, cuz I am not a whore, I am a good, smart girl. And the comparison with a whore really proves how ignorant you are!" "--- Is this your sig RP?? I'm guessing so. Now I may be wrong but I think that many other posters may agree with me when I say that often treating some one or talking to them in that way. Dosent get you verry far and is usualy in bad taste. I don't know were you got the idea that speaking to people like that or the way you have me here is the way to get the job done. But more often then not all it dose it create more friction then is needed. Have you ever herd the saying you catch more flys with honey then vineger?? It's true and honey dosent make you look quite as crude in the end. I hope you dont take this as a personal attack wich its not ment to be at all just me trying to open your eyes to something..

[a4a]

BP not picking on your disability but if you are going to post can you break up the post into paragraphs?

 

* companies have the right to hire people that best represent their company. sad but true - an obese person probably would not interact with others in the same way a thinner person would....... not on the fact that the obese person is lesser but people tend to make assumptions based on physical appearance..

 

Like it or not ..... it is the way it is. We are wired to make quick judgements about others.

 

Since my H cut his hair he is treated so much differently. Comments continue even after a year of chopping off the pony tail. People treat him differently..... just the way it is.

[Mr. Lucky]

Your know, BP, your attitude is the same as many people that over-indulge in an obviously unhealthy practice - whether obesity, smoking, alcohol, etc. "Why does the world judge us so harshly ?" they say, "Why are we so persucuted and discriminated against ?" But then, when the sh*t hits the fan health-wise, these same people are the first ones to ask society to bear the costs of their addiction. They are also the first ones in line to sue McDonalds, Marlboro and Gallo Wines for providing them the means to their end. Maybe that's what people see when they look at you...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Kamille]

Your know, BP, your attitude is the same as many people that over-indulge in an obviously unhealthy practice - whether obesity, smoking, alcohol, etc. "Why does the world judge us so harshly ?" they say, "Why are we so persucuted and discriminated against ?" But then, when the sh*t hits the fan health-wise, these same people are the first ones to ask society to bear the costs of their addiction. They are also the first ones in line to sue McDonalds, Marlboro and Gallo Wines for providing them the means to their end. Maybe that's what people see when they look at you...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I was thinking about this thread yesterday while walking around my city. I notices smokers everywhere, a few larger people, everyone walking around their daily business. The thought that these people are a cost to the system seriously never enters my mind.

 

Instead I saw a lot of people going about their daily lives, some with a smile on their face, others with a frown. They all have known joy sadness and happiness.

 

The economic argument is often used in debates about marginalised groups. We must keep in mind that it is secondary to the fact that we are all, as humans, equal in dignity.

 

Humans are humans are humans. Who's to cast the first stone really?

[Jinxx]

Weight matters not one bit, unless we're talking sex.

 

Isn't that the truth?!

[Mr. Lucky]

The thought that these people are a cost to the system seriously never enters my mind.

I would hate to interupt your strolling reverie, Kamille, but you might want to give it a thought at some point. The current obesity epidemic will have the same huge financial and social cost that we have seen from drugs, smoking and alcohol. If it didn't matter - "humans are humans" - then why the current effort to change kid's habits by offering healthier choices in schools, etc. It has less to with personal dignity and more to do with personal responsibility...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Blue Phoenix]

So mr Luckey you would defend people who openly dicrimnate agenst obese people based on the health issues and cost of health care. Wich may I add has been greatly inflated if you go back and read that one web page I posted you can see that for your self. Now adding that I would like to ask you if maybe you could refrain for some how insinuateing that I over enduldge with out even knowing me personaly. Just like I dont presume to know what goes on in your personal life please show me the same respect. While there are those obese people who do over eat on reg base lease do not automatickly asume I am one of them. You are not at my dinner table every night so I feel you realy have no solid base to make such statments and honeslty I feel insulted at the continued suggestion of it.. --"It has less to with personal dignity and more to do with personal responsibility"-- It has everything to do with personal dignity would you like yours removed because you looked diffrent?? Or because some one thought you were unhealthey?? I know how you will anser this you will say well I would lose the weight. Great good for you its not always as easy as it seams and I'm sure you would love being called a whale even if you were trying to lose it. Its easey for people who have never been obese to sit there and make banket statments and quick judgements about those who are but its a much diffrent thing if the shoe was on the other foot. Case in point I've seen programs were people who would normaly slam obese people were made to wear a fat suit and go out in publick and belive me they came back with a much diffrent outlook on there treatment of us and usualy in tears from the way they were treats as second class humans if that..

[Blue Phoenix]

Opps I just saw your post a4a I will from now on sorry I get caut up in trying to get my ideas out here and forget to.. Now back to obesity If you look back at one of my posts up a bit. You will see I also agree about the increased heath insurance rates. As well so I'm not overly arguring the health costs part. I'm saying we deserve as much dignity as the next person....

[Blue Phoenix]

Really also if you think about it the smoking comparason is a good one I mean they must cost the health system near what obese people do yet when was the last time you saw or herd some one call a smoker a whale or any comment along those lines?? No you dont you hear people trying to talk to them civily conserning it why becasue they dont look diffrent then any one else..

[alphamale]

Really also if you think about it the smoking comparason is a good one I mean they must cost the health system near what obese people ..

yeah but the smokers are paying taxes of $2 per pack which totals around $700 per year. Obese people don't pay any more taxes even though they eat a lot more cause groceries are not taxed. So at least the smokers are contributing to the tax base.

[Blue Phoenix]

Good point alpha but would you condone calling one a whale becasue of it?? My main arguremnt here has been and always will be the sterrio types and ingorance that we endure do you justiey that by saying were all unhealthey?? All so there paying more taxes but were paying much higher health insurance rates..Were also paying for it in other aspects of life IE higher clothing prices and im sure other increses we may not even know about..

[Blue Phoenix]

* --"companies have the right to hire people that best represent their company. sad but true - an obese person probably would not interact with others in the same way a thinner person would....... not on the fact that the obese person is lesser but people tend to make assumptions based on physical appearance"-- Ok lets argure the best representing there company thing for a min here... I go to a telemarketing comp am just as quifyed if not more then the thin person I am being interviewd with. And they take her over me based on my looks alone. Now how would I have influenaced the way there companey looks over a phone?? And a4a do you realy honeslty belive that all obese peolple cannot interact the same with people as thin ones can???

 

--"Like it or not ..... it is the way it is. We are wired to make quick judgements about others"-- This is the type of genal mentallity that alowes the intolarace to remain in the collective mind set. NO I will not sit there and just acept that being called a whale is ok because I look diffent or others may see me as unhealthey its wrong plain and simple...

[Green]

Ive heard people make fun of smokers heck theres commercials making fun of smoking... why would you call a smoker a whale theyre not necisarily fat... People do call smokers idiots, nasty, smelly, and gross... you seem to be a little to rapped up in what people think just live your life ur worth it dont let people make you feel like crap.

[Blue Phoenix]

I never let people make me feel like crap KMT I am not wraped up in anything. I am trying to maybe open a few peoples eyes to this subject thats all nothing wrong with that. Or with shareing my life and life experances a few people have commented as you have but why..Just because I am here speaking about the intollarance of sociaity towards obese people. Do you feel the need to say I am wraped up in anything or overly worryed about how people see me.. Im shareing my thoughts and ideas about a subject just like hundreds of other posters in here thats all but people continualy read more into it but hey thats there choise I supose..

[Mr. Lucky]

It has everything to do with personal dignity would you like yours removed because you looked diffrent?? Or because some one thought you were unhealthey?? I know how you will anser this you will say well I would lose the weight.

Well. BP, I would lose the weight. Just as were I smoker, I would kick the habit. Just as were I an alcoholic, I would quit drinking. My health is too important to me (and those that depend on me) to risk it in what seems to me as such a selfish and self-indulgent way. Even though the final choice is not up to me, I'm doing everything I can to see my kids grow up and, God willing, their kids too. What ever enjoyment I might get out of that second helping - or first cigarette or third beer - isn't worth risking that. You may feel differently.

Wich may I add has been greatly inflated if you go back and read that one web page I posted you can see that for your self.

That you can post a link to a web page that claims, all other medical and actuarial data aside, that there are minimal ill effects associated with morbid obeseity is meaningless. I can post a similarly fraudulent link that attests that the moon landing was filmed inside a Burbank movie studio...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Guest]

BP, I am morbidly obese and have been for many years. I do have a thyroid problem that wasn't diagnosed until Aug. 2006, but that is no excuse for the amount of weight that I packed on through the years.

 

I'm sorry, but I disagree that obese people can be healthy. You may not have health issues now, but chances are that you almost certainly will. I rarely had to go to the doctor for any reason until I approached 40. My doctor never nagged me about my weight because I was otherwise "healthy." But then again, in the 20 years that he was my physician he never checked my thyroid either! He passed away and another doctor found the problem. Then everything went down hill.

 

I now make frequent trips to the doctor because of my blood pressure, arthritis, cholesterol, etc.--get the picture? It is just too hard on our bodies to carry that excess weight. (By the way, since my diagnosis I have lost almost 70 lbs. I have a long way to go, but I feel much better.)

 

I don't believe that most of these posters are being disrespectful--just honest about how they feel about overweight people and about how society views us. I have been fortunate throughout my life in that I have not encountered much discrimination because of my size--at least not to my face.

 

I'm the one who has the problem with it. I have struggled with depression for years. I'm the reason that I haven't had relationships because I have never felt worthy, or I've been afraid of rejection. If you are truly happy with your situation, that's great; but as one who has struggled with obesity all of her adult life, I find it hard to believe that someone could be satisfied being obese.

 

So, how do I honestly feel about overweight people? I feel like we need wake up to the seriousness of our problem and do something about it before it's too late.

[Blue Phoenix]

--"What ever enjoyment I might get out of that second helping"-- Again being over weight dosent mean you automatickly over eat I'm sorry if you honestly think that.. --"I can post a similarly fraudulent link that attests that the moon landing was filmed inside a Burbank movie studio"-- It's not a fruad just because you don't agree with what the people on there are saying.More likely its disturbing to you that even JAMA says that obesity dosent always equil unhealthey so there for it cant be true right?? Because if it was it would burst your sterriotipcal bubble. And I know about the argurement that the moon landing was staged as well.. And if you realy look at it with a open mind they do make some intresting points the flag never moves in the viedo dont you find that intresting? But thats another subject I supose...