heartbroken411 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I'm losing my f-ing mind! I'm starting to think that LS sucks because I've posted on here 3 times and NO ONE WILL HELP ME!!!! I don't know what to do??!!! I don't sleep anymore and I have headaches. I am still in love with my ex. We were together for three years and broke up 6 months ago. He's seeing someone else and is in another country! He says he's coming back in a couple of months, but I don't know what to do in the meantime. Does he still love me? Is there a chance for us? We had a pretty wretched breakup, but didn't talk for a while. We recently started up again and he told me how much he loves talking to me and spending time with me and thinks I'm great, but doesn't have any romantic feelings for me anymore. (Yet, he watches the sex video we made together all the time??!!) Please help!!! I'm not going to get over him anytime soon and I don't know what to do!!! I told him that we should stop talking, but I don't know if this was the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 You've got to stop talking to him. Its not helping you. All it IS doing is giving you false hope. He has told you he does not have romantic feelings for you. As much as it hurts he has told you how he feels and yet you do not believe it. You have got to help yourself. Start by not talking to him. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 If he doesn't have romantic feelings for you anymore, that is what he means. It doesn't mean that he's waiting til he comes back to suddenly realize he loves you. It does not mean he wants you to wait for him. It does not mean he regrets breaking up with you. When he's watching the sex video, it is probably just like watching any other porn. He doesn't care that it's you. He just likes getting off to a porno. You should stop talking to him completely. You were right in that decision. Keep replaying over and over in your head the statement where he says "I don't have romantic feelings for you anymore." That should help. Ignore everything else he says. Link to post Share on other sites
Cossette4 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Just my thoughts after reading this and your previous posts... You were definitely right to tell him you two should stop talking. And now you need to stick to it. You openly admit you are still in love with him, and he is openly admitting he has no feelings for you. Those two things together mean you can't talk. If your feelings change over time and you drop down to the "friends" level that he is on, then you can talk. Or if he suddenly realizes he wants to be back together with you, believe me, he'll let you know, and then you can talk (even though you probably won't want to by that time). But right now, all it's doing is making you more upset. His calm, emotionless voice is driving you crazy. Believe me, I've been there. More thoughts.... You said he cheated on you in a previous post and then in this post said he has another girlfriend, but still watches some tape you guys made together.... This guy clearly sucks. Maybe he didn't always suck for 3 years when you were dating him, but he sucks now. He has disrespected you and your relationship, and now he's disrespecting his new girlfriend. He is not a winner. I know it's hard because you feel totally in love with him, but you are in love with the person he WAS for 3 years, not the guy he IS now. That's hard for you now, but in the long run it'll be hard for him because it's his problem. I dated my boyfriend for over 5 years and though we had our fights, he was respectful and loving and I thought he was a geniunely good person. After the breakup, he immediately began a new relationship with a really, really low and skanky person and used her to shield himself from even giving me answers or closure about our breakup by claiming to be in love with her and happy (so happy, they moved in together after 2 weeks). It took him 40 days to get the balls to even see me face to face, (because he ended our 5 year relationship over the phone) and even when he did, he would be like, "Well..I have a new gf now..so....yeah...gotta go.." That's incredibly disrespectful. So I lost respect for him. It hurts because I was in love with this person for 5 years, but I saw a new side of him, the "This Is How I Deal With Problems And People When Times Get Hard" side. He turned out to be cowardly, insecure, and immature. And not the kind of person I'd want back in my life. Right now you are glorifying him, feeling like you can't live without him, but if you really examine his character, you should feel repelled by him and intolerant of that kind of behavior in a relationship. One of your posts said you fought like, every day. Think of those moments, and then add his recent behavior to the list. He will start looking less desirable. You WILL get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
thecount Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 You can't see him, it would only bring back old feelings, and you will be hurt again when he leaves. He's already told you he doesn't have that "romantic feeling" for you anymore, but still cares. This would be easy for him to leave again, because he hasn't made any promises to you. I hate to say this but it just sounds like he's giving you fauls hope for when he comes around so he can get some. (booty call) I know it sounds a little harsh, but don't let him treat you like that. You are better then that. He let you go, its time you let him go. He would show you more respect for it. Believe me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author heartbroken411 Posted March 8, 2007 Author Share Posted March 8, 2007 It's hard to think that after so much time together, someone would just use you for sex. I guess I just WANT to believe that he still loves me, but the thing is, he's said that before. He'll say that he no longer has feelings for me, but then come running back to me. Maybe that's why I don't believe him?? It's like when the boy cried wolf. I just don't know anymore. But thanks for confirming that NC was the right way to go... Link to post Share on other sites
had3nuff Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 When a man tells you something negative, you need to believe him. This is his warning shot! I also agree that the video is just porn to him. What you need to do is enter NC for your own sanity.You risk absolutely nothing by pulling the plug. There are better men out there and when you do find a good one, you'll wonder why you ever tolerated this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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