Sara27 Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 My husband and I have been married for only 5 weeks. We have never had an argument in the time we’ve known each other, we’ve had little disagreements, but we’ve never actually been angry at each other. This New Year’s Eve will be our first together, and a group of our friends are planning a night out which involves buying tickets to a fairly expensive theater production. Since my husband works nights, he doesn’t know at this point if he will be off that night or not – but after I’d asked him about it a couple of times he said to get him his ticket, and that he would come. (the tickets will sell out soon) When I asked him if he was sure he wouldn’t have to work that night he said he has no way of knowing, and got kind of angry at me. Then he said to go ahead and buy him the ticket and that he’d pay for it even if he didn’t go…I didn’t like that idea since they’re expensive tickets. I’m not seriously upset over the incident or anything, but it is the first time he’s ever seemed actually ‘mad’ at me. I guess that I just feel since we’re newlyweds, I want to spend important holidays together – and I want him to feel this is important too, but he seems to kind of be indifferent about the whole thing. Should I try to get him to see why it’s important to me that we spend this holiday together? Or am I being petty? Part of the reason this bothers me is that the other couples in the group who are going would be shocked that my husband wouldn’t be with me on New Year’s. I would be the only single person there, everyone else would be with their spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 If the most important thing is to be with your husband, why not forego the party and save the money. Then if he doesn't work you two can celebrate on your own together, or if he works maybe you can show up for 10 minutes to kiss him Happy New Year then go home. Never mind a party. Sounds like he was trying to tell you that it is important for him to spend the holiday with you too and he wants to do what makes you happy, but he's realistic and knows that he may have to work and he didn't want to surprise you with that and have you be disappointed. So he is willing to risk losing money on something if it makes you happy. I'm sure your friends will understand if Neither of you are there! Link to post Share on other sites
Sara27 Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 Thanks hokey for your reply... The person in the group who planned the whole event is my best friend, who I've known for years. Her birthday happens to be New Year's Eve, and since one or the both of us has always been visiting family at that time of year, we've never spent her birthday together (however, we've always done something together on mine) Anyway, she has requested that I make sure this year I have no other plans for New Year's so that I can be with her on her birthday, she'd be quite offended if I told her now that I can't go. So, I guess I will just have to explain to the others that my husband couldn't get out of work - and simply go by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted November 22, 2002 Share Posted November 22, 2002 I'm guessing he got a little snippy with you, because deep down he probably greatly resents the fact that he HAS to work that night......because it's your first New Year's Eve as a married couple, and because it's a night that most couples spend together. Cut him a little slack and don't make such a big deal out of it. If he has to work, he has to work. At least he's not some unemployed bum who sits around the house all day in his underwear, drinking beer and watching wrestling! A lot of people take for granted, having these holidays off from work. I can tell you from experience, it's tough to have to work them....especially when in a relationship or newly married. It's not going to make him feel any better, if you continue to bring all this up.....it will just make him feel worse, and like he's 'letting you down'......If it's such a BIG deal for you, to have to explain to the other couples why he won't be there with you, then I think you have the wrong attitude. If anything, you should feel badly for him....that he'll be at work, while everyone else is out having fun. Be thankful you even have a husband. Many people spend New Year's Eve alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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