charlotte101 Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 So lets just start out by saying that if anyone could give me their input it would be greatly appreciated... I am a freshman in college and for most of fall semester and a little of spring semester I was seeing this kid named Adam. I thought he was great but in reality he wound up being the biggest dick.... either way through it all I have had this friend named Jay who has pretty much stuck by me the entire time. Jay has been my friend since the day we moved in. He is great and in all honesty, I love our friendship. We have just always had a connection since move in day at our college (we're neighbors). We used to talk all the time about our love lives and hang out. We even try to set a day and grab dinner once a week. The weird thing is that when I was so caught up with the jerk (Adam), I blew off a chance for me and my friend to be more than friends. My roommate would always tell me how Jay definitely liked me and that we were bound to hook up eventually. I mean i guess in the back of my head I knew he liked me but the thing is, I just kept it at a friendship level. He would flirt, ask me to grab dinner, stop by my room (we live on the same floor), he didn't like Adam and would always tell me how much better I could do, and any time he was drunk he was overly touchy feely. I guess I just always looked past it because I was already involved with someone else. Now he is somewhat involved with someone else while I am actually completely single. I know that this is my fault that we'll never be more and I guess it is something I just have to deal with. The truth is, I never realized how much I did like him until it was too late. Realistically, we would never work. We are two totally different people who would never see eye to eye. We both do completely different things..... I've never been a partier while he is the kid who is out every night of the week. But the truth is, I know he is better than any of it.... I just know. I see a side of him that I don't think a lot of people get the chance to see. I mean he is funny, adorably cute, caring, and smart. Sometimes I just wish he would shape up and be the better person that I know he could be. Bottom line, I have alot of faith in him and I don't even know why. The worst part is that I would have never even had any of this in my head if it weren't for 2 weekends ago. A few weekends ago, I came back from a party.... pretty drunk and went along with my roommate to hang out with this Jay and the group of people in his room. We hung out there for a while.... I sat on his lap at one point and we just talked. Things were normal as usual. I decide to go back to my room... he walks me back.... and we go into my room to hang out. As we are trying to figure out how to set my alarm clock because I was drunk and had to wake up extremely early... he kissed me (lightly of course but he still kissed me). At first I was in shock but we wound up making out that night. We had a drunken heart to heart and I remember him telling me that he really liked me. We bickered for a while in which I told him that he didnt and that I knew he liked a different girl (that he had been hooking up with). He responded by saying that he had been confused, he liked me all along, and he never knew what he wanted but that he did now. He then said "the only reason I didn't make a move was because you never made it seem like you wanted me to.... I never got that vibe from you." I wound up at some pt falling asleep next to him... and I remember him getting up and telling me he was going to go but to go back to sleep. He kissed me (lightly again) and then said goodnight and left. The next day I was out all day and never exactly got a chance to talk to him so instead I left him a note. It basically thanked him for taking care of me that night since I had been such a mess and that I truly appreciated him. That night I saw him really quickly where he smiled at me and then said "I got your note.... anytime charlotte anytime." It made me feel good because I didn't think anything was awkward and I figured everything would go back to normal. 2 days later I figured since he hadn't come to talk to me at all like he usually would have... I would text him and ask him if he wanted to grab dinner. He never replied which then made me freak out... worried that we had messed up such a great friendship. Every time I saw him after that he would still say hi and bye and make small talk if he saw me but things were somewhat awkward. I was so worried about the situation that two days later I walked into his room to talk to him. I explained that although I was pretty drunk, I remembered what happened and I didn't want our relationship to change in a bad way and for there to be awkwardness. I told him that I loved him to death and I truly care about him. He then said that he was sorry for never answering back... he didn't know why he didn't and that we would never be awkward because he cared too. He then tried to lighten and the mood and was like "it is ok.... friends hook up sometimes right?" and then smiled.... and i laughed and said "yeah." I guess the truth is that I just have the things that he said from the drunken night in the back of my head. I know he thinks that I was too drunk to remember but in all honesty, I just keep playing it over and over in my head wondering why he has never tried to make a move again. I mean I know he is sort of seeing this girl (the girl that I was telling him that he liked that night) but then I just wonder why did he say those things and finally make a move with no intention of pursuing me? Any thoughts on what he is thinking/what I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlotte101 Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 So for the past week we've had spring break..... and i have talked to him once... it was a good convo..... but here is the thing.... there is this kid that is in one of classes and he is starting to pursue me..... easy way out would be to just go for the new kid but the truth is i wonder if i do..... what is jay going to think? I care about Jay and I just don't want to mess it up.... my friends keep telling me to start hanging out with the new kid... and see how it goes from there with Jay... see how he reacts.... idk. Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeGirl Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 If you really like Jay maybe you need to pursue that relationship. If you don't do it now you will probably always wonder what would have happened. Other guys will always be around but Jay might not be there forever. If I were you I would start hanging out with Jay more and not dating anyone for a while, and see what happens. If you start dating someone Jay will probably think that you are not interested in him. Just my two cents Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlotte101 Posted March 14, 2007 Author Share Posted March 14, 2007 I completely agree.... because I REALLY REALLY like Jay.... But my only question is why hasn't he ever made a move again since that night? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Maybe because he thinks you were to drunk to remember, and he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. All I know is, it sounds like you're crazy about him, and he feels the same way, just go talk to him, and tell him how your feel, keep it sober this time. You're going to regret it if you don't do it right now, every day you waste, hes growing apart from you. Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeGirl Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 He is probably shy and doesn't know if you feel the same way that he does, and the last thing he wants to do is scare you off. Either talk to him when you get back from spring break or you make a move and see what happens. When do you go back to classes? Let me know what happens Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlotte101 Posted March 14, 2007 Author Share Posted March 14, 2007 not until the 18th... i definitely will let you know... thank you sooo much for your help Link to post Share on other sites
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