Ms. Hager Posted September 1, 1998 Share Posted September 1, 1998 My boyfriend is a singer in a band, and he always has girls hanging on him. I deal with this pretty well because I know that he is coming home to me. Lately though, he has been saying rude and disrespectful things in front of me about other girls. He says that he isn't going to change how he acts, and that I just need to chill. I love him, but he just doesn't understand that I don't care about the girls, I just want some respect. Link to post Share on other sites
WildFire Posted September 1, 1998 Share Posted September 1, 1998 U can't change a person if they say they arn't going to change...mabey he is a disrespectful person and that's how he lives...the longer you get to know him the more his true colors will come out...and they may be some very muddled gruesome colors at that..or the oposite. The only thing I can really say at this is if you want to live your live being disrespacted(cuz he could posibly never change) then stay with him..if you truely love him and everything else about him then you may want to stay( unless disrespect is a big isure..for me its a red light hands off deal) u may just want o wait until u meat a respectful guy...infact...love covers the word respect, if this guy doesn't respect u he may not know what love is, or may not truely love you... decide what u want in a guy and don't go makeing eceptions if u really want to be happy later on in life.. hope this gets u thinking some..or helps in anyway... ciao! WildFire My boyfriend is a singer in a band, and he always has girls hanging on him. I deal with this pretty well because I know that he is coming home to me. Lately though, he has been saying rude and disrespectful things in front of me about other girls. He says that he isn't going to change how he acts, and that I just need to chill. I love him, but he just doesn't understand that I don't care about the girls, I just want some respect. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAngel Posted September 2, 1998 Share Posted September 2, 1998 My boyfriend is a singer in a band, and he always has girls hanging on him. I deal with this pretty well because I know that he is coming home to me. Lately though, he has been saying rude and disrespectful things in front of me about other girls. He says that he isn't going to change how he acts, and that I just need to chill. I love him, but he just doesn't understand that I don't care about the girls, I just want some respect. Ms. Hager, I'm really sure if I understand your question completely or not, so please correct me if I make any wrong assumptions. I'm reading your posting as that your husband is saying rude, or unpleasant things about the girls that "hang around him" when he plays with his band and that his attitude towards women in general, from what he's said about his "followers," for lack of a better term, makes you uncomfortable. I'm assuming that he's only making these comments about these other women and not about you. In fact, I suspect he excludes you completely. Really, the situation is a rather unique one in a sense. You have a strong trusting relationship with him, however it seems that he's constantly degrading these other women. From your posting, I gather that you've already talked to him about how you feel and that's an important step. However, I wonder what his motives are behind showing such distaste for these women. It almost seems as if he's trying to prove something to you. Perhaps he fears that you don't trust him for whatever reason and he's trying to make you aware that he's only thinking of you? Of course, that's just speculation. I'm making a guess. The only way you can possibly know why he does what he does is by asking him exclusively. I love him, but he just doesn't understand that I don't care about the girls, I just want some respect. This last portion of your statement really seems to reflect that. I'm gathering that you've had some discussions about the other women. I don't understand, however, why you're saying you want "some respect." Until this point, I thought the comments were being directed towards the girls that follow your husband and not yourself. If he's also including you in whatever comments he makes, then you need to confront him again and tell him how upset that makes you. Your opinions should matter to him, as should your desires and wishes. Please clarify on what you meant by that last statement. If the problem is indeed his belief that you aren't trusting him and he's trying to display to you as harshly as he can how he feels, or rather, doesn't feel about these other women, then let him know how you do trust him. Sit down with him and tell him that you know he's being honest with you and that you know you have nothing to fear -- that he's making the right choices, etc. Let him know he has nothing to prove to you. Best wishes to you! Yours, LoveAngel Link to post Share on other sites
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