.lk,oim9im Posted November 25, 1999 Share Posted November 25, 1999 I'm going out with my boyfriend just over a month now and we are getting on really well. We started having sex after 3 weeks but that's not the problem, my problem is that i am after a series of bad relationships and find it very hard to trust a guy now, i keep expecting something to happen and things to go wrong between us. i know this probably sounds incredibily stupid but it drove me to the stage of tears tonight. things for once in my life are going well and i am so afraid of everything falling apart and us breaking up even tough we are a great couple according to all our friends. why am i like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Richie Posted November 25, 1999 Share Posted November 25, 1999 No wonder you had a series of bad relationships. If you would sleep with someone in 3 weeks of dating, they would look for someone on the 5th week. First of all, guys won't have respect for someone whom they could easily get. If you get something very easily, you won't realise the real of it. That is human nature. (Nowadays, Virginity or chastity worths one penny. "People don't mind losing it") Now to the point...If you are going to keep thinking negatively, it will get written into your subconsious mind and your subconscious mind will make it happen in reality. That is how our subconscious mind works. It doesn't bother whether it is good or bad, negative or positive thinking. So first of all, stop thinking negatively. Stop fearing. Fear can drive you crazy. Let me tell you how to avoid fear. This is called "Bottom-line Thinking". Think of all the worst things that could happen to you if you break up with him. What is the bottom line? May be, he would break up. (How long i had relationship with him. Can't i handle this? I faced so many other problems in my life. Comparing with them, this is very simple. This break-up is not end of my life.) List it. Read it. Accept it mentally. If you accept it mentally, fear won't do any harm. Then stop thinking about it completely. Stop fearing and start trusting him. You may want to read the book, "How to stop worrying and start living" by Dale Carnegie All the best, Richie Link to post Share on other sites
JD Posted November 30, 1999 Share Posted November 30, 1999 Hey I am sorda going through what you are to. I am dating a great guy, the bomb guy and everything is going great but both of us has been hurt. I cant really say what his feelings are about that. I know that I always think that this is to perfect and everything is going to just end one day. I dont have many friends at all so he is one of the most important people that is close to me so when I think of him leaving I get really sad to. I could marry this guy...in the future....anyways what I want to say is you need to think positively. Your additude says a lot about you. When you feel confident and not worried that something bad will happen then people around you well get tham message. If you are full of doubts and you act like it like your shy or sad around him I think he will try to perseade you that its ok but after to long of this feeling then he might get tired of it. Everytime I have doubts I tell myself he would be dumb to leave me I am da bomb and I really feel this way and it shows. I also tell him that and if you are to needy that will drain him. Be really independent and you dont need him you want him. And dont be predictable things will get old keep him on his toes make him wonder then why would he ever want to leave you your da bomb....so show it!!! Feel it!!! Be it!!! This is probably dumb but I am going through it to. ciao I'm going out with my boyfriend just over a month now and we are getting on really well. We started having sex after 3 weeks but that's not the problem, my problem is that i am after a series of bad relationships and find it very hard to trust a guy now, i keep expecting something to happen and things to go wrong between us. i know this probably sounds incredibily stupid but it drove me to the stage of tears tonight. things for once in my life are going well and i am so afraid of everything falling apart and us breaking up even tough we are a great couple according to all our friends. why am i like this? Link to post Share on other sites
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