Why do looks matter so much?

[Yamaha]

Do you dress a little sexy? Do you look at a man and let him know that you find him desirable? Many a man will be swayed by a gal who gives them sexual attention even if she is not a star. I understand your comment on having friends but no b/f. People seem to like you but do not take it to the next level and desire you. Changing how you interact with men will make a big difference in how they perceive you. If you feel sexy they ( some, not all ) will see you as a sexual being. Be bold and confident and you will get a man, not a friend.

[monkey00]

Women.

 

The thing i believe (coming from a guy) is the overall package of what a woman has to offer. Men were born masculine, and women born feminine. Thse 2 are the most natural base characteristic of man and woman. So it would make sense why the more masculine the man, the more they attract the more feminine the woman.

 

What appeals to a man:

sex appeal (basically the whole package, way you dress/act/talk/walk/behave/look)

personality

kindness

attitude

intellect (depends on if the guy wants a woman he can connect with mentally, overall girls with intellect are attractive)

 

Having LOOKS is one thing, but it doesnt make the person attractive. It's the overall package that makes them attractive. Think about it when you relate to men you've dated/liked in the past.

 

But yes initially most men are attracted to a girl for her looks, women are more lenient on this matter. however, you shouldnt base all this on looks alone, there are other matters that come into play. Maybe they sense your desperate vibe that they just make you his friend?

[michaelk]

good post though .I often have the opposite problem, Im just a face or set of .......and men tend to get either nervous around me or treat me like a pretty shell with no interior.So I dress down most of the time so that I can be seen as maybe having the possobility of having a brain.

 

When I see a woman who's really beautiful in the conventional sense (i.e. looks like a model or movie star), I don't necessarily assume she's dumb. But I do find myself thinking that she's probably full of herself and a bit**. I know this isn't a fair generalization, but it's sort of a knee-jerk reaction.

 

So I think you should also make sure that guys can see you're friendly and open. Then you might not get so many that are nervous around you, or who dismiss you right off the bat.

[whichwayisup]

danmit the O is right next to the I .....

 

 

Just teasing abit too. It's cute...Typo's are funny! I recently put in a post PUBIC instead of PUBLIC. Totally changed the meaning of the whole thing!

[Butternut]

here's what i've heard from guys:

 

- first of all, your body matters more than your face. Yes, a guy will pick a hot body with a less pretty face over a really pretty face with a not-so-nice body (all else equal)

 

actually, its more about the pretty face, than a hot body....at least i think so

[sparticuss]

You have just about everything backwards Wildcat.

 

Beauty doesnt matter.

 

Beauty is only skin deep. It's ugly goes through to the bone.

 

But that does mean, ugly. Mega ugly. Forget about not catching a guy s eye. I'm talking about so ugly that you DO catch guys eyes. Thats ugly.

 

 

Bubbly is fine. Bubbly is friends.

 

Bubbly is not sexy! It's not opposite to sexy either but its not sexy. Bubbly gets you friends. Sexy gets you laid.

 

You can consider yourself too ugly when you try to talk a single guy, with no girlfirends, and no other ties, into the sack with you, and he turns you down.

 

Do you have a problem with being the one to make the moves? Guys actually like that very much. It's does away with so much guess work. We know if the girl just wants a dance, or a date, or sex. It's far far more straightforward.

 

Don't lust after the wedding dress. I know so many girls who have lived to regret that one.

[sparticuss]

Look -

1 - I am not overweight (I'm 8 stones, I guess that's ok???)

2 - I have a good wardrobe

3 - I have good hair and a good haircut

4 - above all, I am NOT whining.

 

And all the above are the very reasons why I have concluded that my very plain looks were the only reasons why I do not get any dates.

As one of you said, looks matter for the initial connection, and said initial connection is precisely what I'm not getting.

.

 

But you are getting the initial connection. Thats just the point. You have friends. Heaps.

 

There's a no and go of body and wardrobe language. The girl who wears taiored skirts is less likely to get dated or get laid than the girl who wears leather miniskirts.

Even if the girl is the leather skirt is a virgin andthe girl in the tailored skirt is a rampaging sex maniac.

 

But the body language only counts until the first word of th English language is uttered.

 

What are you telling these guys in social situatins that cools them off?? I'm a little puzzled.

[Outcast]

Spart, Wildcat posted her question in November 2002

[Lonely nice guy]

And yes, I agree with you, looks do indeed matter. And honestly, it might be easier to be an unattractive guy than unattractive girl because guys, seek good looking girls, we're more shallow, but girls look for personalilty in their guys. But there are some things you can do to make yourself as a girl more attractive. Well done make up, nice modern and stylish haircut and nice clothes. And if you make a move first, you'll attract more men (but that depends on the situation and may not always be wise)

 

But also, do you have a double standard? Do you swoon over the most gorgeous guys? Do you give average guys the brush off? Would you reject a great personality but with an unattractive face? I know that as an unattractive male, I have learned to look at woman as more than an attractive face and body. Online, when searching the profiles I never look at the picture and make my decision, it's what they write and their interests, I hope they do the same for me. This does not mean lowering your standards, it means looking beyond the obvious and to the more meaningful part of the person.

[smashly86]

You are defeating yourself with your attitude.

 

Instead of whining, take some action. Lose some weight if you need to. Get some different clothes if you need to. And by all means change your attitude to a positive one. Men can pick up vibrations a mile away and if a lady doesn't think she's attractive enough for a male...the male sure as hell isn't going to think she's attractive enough.

 

I am just average looking...maybe a little less than average...but I have more women after me at any given time than Elvis did...Tom Cruise...Brad Pitt...and on and on. These women are after me because I have a positive attitude about myself...and I don't project the feeling that I am defeated.

 

If you're going to make yourself attractive to the opposite sex, read yes post above one more time...change the way you think about yourself...and your entire life will change. You would absolutely be shocked at the number of men who will come after you if you just feel good about yourself. But if you don't, they won't either.

 

 

 

How are girls supposed to feel good about themselves if every guy that we ask this question to about being attractive tells us to change ourselves. Having somebody that does not want you for you is not worth it. I want somebody who wants me for me and that is it! I shouldn't have to lose weight or change myself to find true love!