Rules of offering your phone number

[luvtoto]

Rules? You mean there are rules for when to feel like you enjoy someone's companionship?

Yes, there are rules. Rules that I live by that keeps me from getting my heart broken. Or better yet...me being humiliated.

 

I had a guy call me to ask me out back in February. I didn't know him from Adam. I didn't give him my home number, so he called me at work. It was all very random, awkward and a bit rude I thought. The call lasted 30 secs. Couldn't wait to get off the phone with him. Never mentioned the call to a single sole.

 

So, if there is this thing called Karma? It's my turn to be turned down.

[amaysngrace]

Yes, there are rules. Rules that I live by that keeps me from getting my heart broken. Or better yet...me being humiliated.

 

I had a guy call me to ask me out back in February. I didn't know him from Adam. I didn't give him my home number, so he called me at work. It was all very random, awkward and a bit rude I thought. The call lasted 30 secs. Couldn't wait to get off the phone with him. Never mentioned the call to a single sole.

 

So, if there is this thing called Karma? It's my turn to be turned down.

 

I don't think so at all. I think you weren't interested in him, for whatever reasons, and that's okay. You have a right to decide who you want to get to know you and who you don't.

 

Maybe this new guy wants to know you or maybe he doesn't, but one has nothing to do with the other. Maybe, just maybe, you weren't interested in the last guy because this guy is the one you've been waiting for.

[alphamale]

I'd go out with you LUVTOTO

[tanbark813]

I'd go out with you LUVTOTO

 

It would never happen. She'd spend a month figuring out what to do.

[alphamale]

It would never happen. She'd spend a month figuring out what to do.

I guess you're right...she wouldn't be interested anyways. BTW, i'm watching MythBusters right now on TDC

[luvtoto]

It would never happen. She'd spend a month figuring out what to do.

Hey now...cut me some slack. Alpha would have the balls to ask me out!

 

I guess you're right...she wouldn't be interested anyways. BTW, i'm watching MythBusters right now on TDC

I'm gonna get busy, too. Enough of this sitting around thinking crap. My brain hurts. Gonna go paint my bathroom.

[TYASAFAHICSI]

"Alpha's Online Matchmaking Service--He'll nail you a date!"

 

And in finer print..if not, he'll nail your date!

 

Seriously TOTO we are not in Kansas anymore. This is the 21st Century. It is a phone call, not a blood pact. We are talking about a date, not a marriage. Get the number, give him a call and ask if he would like to get together some time.

 

If he says no---no biggie. You will feel better for having asked as TB said. If he says yes, well then--we told you so!

 

Looks like you win all the way around.

[luvtoto]

Seriously TOTO we are not in Kansas anymore.

Hahaha!

 

If I had his number in my hand, I would call him. But, I don't.

 

In order to get his number, I would need to get it from somebody that knows him. Which is just about anyone that I work with.

 

So, the call would go, "Hi. This is so-and-so from so-and so. I hope it's ok that I called you, I had to get your number from somebody you know..."

 

Just seems a bit rude.

 

His phone number is not listed in the phone book.

 

Should my coworker call him first, and ask him if it's ok to give his number out to me?

 

Just seems more polite, and not so "put him on the spot"-ish by me calling him first.

 

Just don't want to put him on the spot. I've been there before and it's not fun.

[Yamaha]

Has any women ever beaten you to the punch, and given you their phone number without you asking for it?

 

I have had several women offer their number to me when I didn't ask for it. Did I think they were aggressive? Yes.

Did it bother me? No really. Either I gave them a call if I was interested or I just lost their number. I didn't hold it against them for offering their number to me.

[alphamale]

I have had several women offer their number to me when I didn't ask for it. Did I think they were aggressive? Yes.

I don't like pushy women either. nyuk nyuk

[luvtoto]

I am a woman, and I don't even like pushy women. haha! Don't wanna be one either.

 

I've had lots of guy friends talk badly about them, and I don't wan to go there with this guy.

 

I'll have my coworker, john, call him first. When Barrett came in the first time, he mentioned knowing john. He asked, "Does John still work here? I've known him for along time." This is the part where I blew it..."Yea, he still works here. how do you know him?". He said, "from highschool".

 

What I should have said was, "Yea, he's in the back..why don't I take you back there and we can talk to him."

 

But, did I say that???? NO! I just let the conversation die out. Then, he left.

 

doh! I suck at flirting.

[TYASAFAHICSI]

Hahaha!

So, the call would go, "Hi. This is so-and-so from so-and so. I hope it's ok that I called you, I had to get your number from somebody you know..."

 

Just seems a bit rude.

 

No, if anything, it will massage his ego. Always good to massage an ego before something else!

 

Come on, you are an adult. There is nothing wrong with calling him up and saying "Hey, this is Toto, last time you were in I got really busy but wanted to see if you might like to go get a cup of coffee sometime. I pestered Rob in receiving for your number because I know you had mentioned that you knew each other--hope you don't mind. Wink wink"

 

He will either tell you yes, lets do it, no, I am taken, or no, thanks. That's it.

[Nezero]

So I was talking about this girl with my friend and he thought it was a bit weird the way she acted.

Anyway its all relevant so bare with me.

So I'm on the tram talking with this girl in two of my tutorials at university.

I'm about to get off and my stop since I didn't feel that comfortable getting her number yet as I had really only spoken to her for two days.

I asked her, 'Do you have MSN?'

And she said 'Yes but I don't have a computer yet' and started telling me how she checks her emails and stuff at uni.

So I'm like 'Do you have a mobile?' I think I said something along those lines.

She said "Yeah" and pulled it out. I didn't say anything cause I thought she was going to say something like, do you want my number or something. She gave me this weird look and I realised that I might need to ask for it.

I said Can I have your number?

And I got it.

 

Now my friend thinks its a bit strange since the question after asking if she had a mobile was leading up to the number part.

Is it simply cause she didn't want to offer it but have me ask for it?

[luvtoto]

No, if anything, it will massage his ego. Always good to massage an ego before something else!

 

Come on, you are an adult. There is nothing wrong with calling him up and saying "Hey, this is Toto, last time you were in I got really busy but wanted to see if you might like to go get a cup of coffee sometime. I pestered Rob in receiving for your number because I know you had mentioned that you knew each other--hope you don't mind. Wink wink"

 

He will either tell you yes, lets do it, no, I am taken, or no, thanks. That's it.

Yes, I am an adult, thank you very much!! An adult that has been cheated on, dumped, abused & taken for granted. All in four different long-term relationships.

 

It's a wonder that I am not a bitter ol' hag. But, I have spent many years alone to concentrate on myself.

 

So, now I'm back! A little hesitant, but feeling pretty positive.

 

After a four year dry-spell, I've learned how not to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. I am very guarded, and a lot sensitive. I feel like I have "rejection radar" now. I feel the rejection beeping closer, so I run the opposite direction.

 

But, hey! At least I am trying, andI definitely have a round-about way of getting a man's attention. That doesn't mean I am not an "adult".

 

Sometimes, I feel strong. Like, nothing can hurt me, and I mended my broken heart with the strongest super-glue on the planet.

 

Other times, I feel like one small *hit* will send all my pieces flying everywhere as if they were only held together by silly-putty.

 

It's the strangest feeling.

[IpAncA]

Yes, I am an adult, thank you very much!! An adult that has been cheated on, dumped, abused & taken for granted. All in four different long-term relationships.

 

It's a wonder that I am not a bitter ol' hag. But, I have spent many years alone to concentrate on myself.

 

So, now I'm back! A little hesitant, but feeling pretty positive.

 

After a four year dry-spell, I've learned how not to wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. I am very guarded, and a lot sensitive. I feel like I have "rejection radar" now. I feel the rejection beeping closer, so I run the opposite direction.

 

Okay I can understand why you're a little hesitant but this guy MAY be different from other guys. Maybe he's had trouble with girls in the past and is in the same boat as you. Maybe not. I Don't know him.

 

No one is saying you have to be bf/gf, just start off slow and work your way up if you want to.

 

There's no harm in just talking over coffee or whatever. And if you don't like what you see then move on. Life is nothing but chance IMO.

 

And not all the good men are not taking because I know people who live in your state who ARE single. It's funny because they say everyone is taken and no one is single. How odd but then again their all in their upper 20s and early 30s so that's probably why.

[luvtoto]

And not all the good men are not taking because I know people who live in your state who ARE single.

Well, I know they are out there...........hiding somewhere. The last three guys that I have dated..acted like they've never seen a single woman before.

 

They ended up clinging onto me way, way too tight. Freakin' A! Let me breath! Like talking marriage and love after the....

 

Wait..what was my point?

 

Oh. With me it's just the little matter of pushing myself to meet them, talk to them, whatever.

 

That's the part I am struggling with at this point.

[IpAncA]

Well, I know they are out there...........hiding somewhere. The last three guys that I have dated..acted like they've never seen a single woman before.

 

They ended up clinging onto me way, way too tight. Freakin' A! Let me breath! Like talking marriage and love after the....

 

Yeah I guess so. They wanted to keep you.

 

I know my guy friends out there they meet singles on-line, work, and through friends. My brother lives around there and 99% of the people he meets is through friends and myspace.

 

But I will say there isn't sh** for girls out there to date. They either illegals, to young or have WAY TO much negative baggage. And I'm sure it goes the other way around for males too. No offense on you though okay? It's very rare they go out and meet people are bars or what not. I'm always getting on them for not meeting anyone yet. Their like "there's no one out here."

[luvtoto]

Yeah I guess so. They wanted to keep you.

 

I know my guy friends out there they meet singles on-line, work, and through friends. My brother lives around there and 99% of the people he meets is through friends and myspace.

 

But I will say there isn't sh** for girls out there to date. They either illegals, to young or have WAY TO much negative baggage.

Same here. I've learned that if they are single it's for a reason. I am single. I have my reasons too. I know that I get in my way. But, I'm working on it.

 

Also, a couple of my girlfriends and one guy friend married Hispanics. I've noticed that the cultural differences usually get in the way of their relationships.

 

But, I feel as though I would be a good catch. Yes, gots some baggage, but nothing that I hasn't been organized neatly.

 

And I'm sure it goes the other way around for males too. No offense on you though okay? It's very rare they go out and meet people are bars or what not. I'm always getting on them for not meeting anyone yet. Their like "there's no one out here."

I know! I'm like...I'm right here!!

[IpAncA]

Same here. I've learned that if they are single it's for a reason. I am single. I have my reasons too. I know that I get in my way. But, I'm working on it.

 

Also, a couple of my girlfriends and one guy friend married Hispanics. I've noticed that the cultural differences usually get in the way of their relationships.

 

But, I feel as though I would be a good catch. Yes, gots some baggage, but nothing that I hasn't been organized neatly.

 

Oh yes I know all about the cultural things that interfer. THAT is not something I would deal with at all. No thanks I'll pass.

 

The baggage I'm talking about is gf's ex in the way, or in jail. That bad stuff and no one should have to deal with or want's to deal with.

 

But yours is organized and in order so that's good.

 

I know! I'm like...I'm right here!!

 

Usually if a good one comes around it's funny because they snatched up like candy.

[luvtoto]

Usually if a good one comes around it's funny because they snatched up like candy.

Used to think, and still do at times, that if a guy is good...he would have already been snatched up. Makes ya wonder why he's 30 something, and still single.

 

But, the guys I've gotten to know on LS blows that theory all to shreds!

 

They are out there. Just gotta smoke 'em out of their caves!

[IpAncA]

Used to think, and still do at times, that if a guy is good...he would have already been snatched up. Makes ya wonder why he's 30 something, and still single.

 

But, the guys I've gotten to know on LS blows that theory all to shreds!

 

They are out there. Just gotta smoke 'em out of their caves!

 

True but you don't know unless you talk to them and find out. There are lots of reasons why people are single. That's why I try not to assume and give people the benefit of being a decent person.

 

Look at yourself. You seem to be a decent person and yet your single and are probably a good catch and over 30. If that's you in your profile then your capable of attracting people who are good for you then bad.

 

Your seeking to have a relationship like other older singles are and I'm sure you wouldn't want people to think that since your an older single, something is wrong with you. You would like to be given a chance just like I'm sure other singles would as well. Right?

 

But your right you have to find them and smoke 'em out. Sometimes more then once or twice.