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2 years on and STILL heartbroken...


amy_leela

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I'm new to this kind of thing so please be gentle with me! I'm sort of trying this out now as I don't know what else to do. If anybody has any advice or kind words of encouragement that things will eventually get better I would really appreciate your help..

It's been 2 years since my relationship with this boy ended and I seem to be no further on than I was when it first happened. He split up with me as I don't think he could cope with the long distant relationship (while we were together for 2 and a half years he was living abroad for a lot of the time and then when he eventually returned to the UK for good, I had accepted my dream job at the other end of the country, assuming maybe unwisely that we'd be strong enough to see it through)...

The split was a shock to me, and ever since then I just haven't been able to get him out of my head. It's a LONG time now since we broke up and I'm wondering will I ever NOT feel this feeling of loss?

 

I seem to have no self-esteem or self confidence, and so barely go out anymore.

So, here I am, lovely, heartbroken and wondering what to do next. Any ideas anyone? Where do I start to repair a broken heart?

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I think you need to seek professional counseling and possibly medications to cope with the depression of this and gain back your self esteem. It sounds to me like you think irrationally about many things and place blame on yourself. 2 months in cognitive behavioral therapy will help you immensely i n my opinion. It's ok to not be fully over him after 2 years, but if you are just as heartbroken now, I'd say you are clinically depressed and need help.

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No, it's not drastic! Something like 1-in-5 people will receive treatment for depression or anxiety at some point in their life and you know what: it is the strong and successful people who seek help. Weak people are the ones who don't seek help and who view professional help as weak. Most people going to therapy are great people with responsible, well paying jobs. It's a sign of strength and self understanding to seek help.

 

This is only my recommendation. time alone is not healing you. My sense is that you think distortedly about some things and you need to challenge those distorted thoughts and stop blaming yourself. This is easier said than done but if you truly still feel heartbroken after 2 years, you need to do something proactive.

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