Separated - with rules for getting together again

[ranjon]

well, i didnt show her this thread, but am going to a counselor to get official confirmation that i have been abused by her, and will give it to her. in the meantime, she said if i couldnt do what she asked (not go anywhere without her, lose my cell phone, not talk to my daughter) then she was filing for divorce. well, i told her i couldnt agree to that, so she filed for divorce yesterday. i am supposed to meet her today to sign the papers. if she is nice, i will sign them. if not, i guess we will go to court. (she said she might put in the papers that i would owe her $20,000 - her mom gave it to her and she spent it on stuff for her and me. she is mad that she spent it on me and wants the money back) i hope and pray that she wont do that. will let you know. thanks for your replies.

[Gunny376]

I'm willing to bet she wants the $20,000 from you along with the $20,000 worth of stuff she initially spent the money on as well, I'd be telling her "BOYA! :mad: :mad:

[whichwayisup]

well, i didnt show her this thread, but am going to a counselor to get official confirmation that i have been abused by her, and will give it to her. in the meantime, she said if i couldnt do what she asked (not go anywhere without her, lose my cell phone, not talk to my daughter) then she was filing for divorce. well, i told her i couldnt agree to that, so she filed for divorce yesterday. i am supposed to meet her today to sign the papers. if she is nice, i will sign them. if not, i guess we will go to court. (she said she might put in the papers that i would owe her $20,000 - her mom gave it to her and she spent it on stuff for her and me. she is mad that she spent it on me and wants the money back) i hope and pray that she wont do that. will let you know. thanks for your replies.

 

HER loss, not yours. Hate to say it, but your soon to be exwife is demented. Something isn't right inside her head.

 

Just wish you knew how unbalanced she was before you two got married. Maybe though her true colours came out once you two said I DO.

 

Hope all goes well with the signing of the papers.

[justpassingthrough]

well, i didnt show her this thread, but am going to a counselor to get official confirmation that i have been abused by her, and will give it to her.

 

That's a waste of time and energy. She won't see herself as abusive and all you're doing is opening the door to a pissing match.

 

in the meantime, she said if i couldnt do what she asked (not go anywhere without her, lose my cell phone, not talk to my daughter) then she was filing for divorce. well, i told her i couldnt agree to that, so she filed for divorce yesterday.

 

Let me get this straight: Because you didn't cave in to her insane manipulation, she's divorcing you?

 

Whatever. Don't worry about the means, just focus on the end.

 

i am supposed to meet her today to sign the papers.

 

Tell me this is a typo and what you really meant to say is that you and your attorney will meet with her to review the papers and you will only sign them after you've listened to the advice of your attorney.

 

if she is nice, i will sign them.

 

And you expect "nice" why?

 

if not, i guess we will go to court. (she said she might put in the papers that i would owe her $20,000 - her mom gave it to her and she spent it on stuff for her and me. she is mad that she spent it on me and wants the money back) i hope and pray that she wont do that.

 

I'm guessing she will, just because she believes she can. And if she does take it into a court of law. Any judge who decides she's entitled to one red cent after she made the decision to spend money on the two of you out of her own free will deserves a pants down spanking.

 

will let you know. thanks for your replies.

 

Please do.

[ranjon]

Well, she filed for divorce. it is amicable. she is being very nice. i go to sign the papers tomorrow. she said she is putting in there that what is mine i get to keep, and what is hers she keeps. she is being very nice to me. we go out and still have great love life.

 

So what gives?

 

I guess i will stay divorced. we seem to get along great since we separated. we talk on the phone every day and i have been staying at her house off and on.

 

She agreed to go to counseling with me. So maybe she will change. will let you know. it will take quite a bit on my part too, as inside i dont feel the love i did when we first met. her abuse destroyed most of that. i guess we will see. will let you know. thanks for all your advice.

[Gunny376]

I would suggest that you continue to post.

[whichwayisup]

Well, she filed for divorce. it is amicable. she is being very nice. i go to sign the papers tomorrow. she said she is putting in there that what is mine i get to keep, and what is hers she keeps. she is being very nice to me. we go out and still have great love life.

 

So what gives?

 

I guess i will stay divorced. we seem to get along great since we separated. we talk on the phone every day and i have been staying at her house off and on.

 

She agreed to go to counseling with me. So maybe she will change. will let you know. it will take quite a bit on my part too, as inside i dont feel the love i did when we first met. her abuse destroyed most of that. i guess we will see. will let you know. thanks for all your advice.

 

R, I guess I don't understand why you're letting her have control. I mean, don't get me wrong, good that she has filed for divorce, but why on earth are you still seeing her, and at her house?

 

Start spending that time with your daughter and patching things up with her.

Your soon to be ex wife is doing a number on you. Something just isnt' sitting right with the timing of how everything has unfolded. From one or two conversations to her separating and now divorce. And then still seeing you like you're gonna date.