did i do the right thing?

[LadeeDQ]

Ok my b/f and i had been going out for the past nine months, and i just recently broke up with him two days ago. In the beginning as usual it was great, I was attending college and he wasn't he was just working, then when he started school this year he was mainly focused on basketball, he lost his job and he had credit card bills, and phone bills to pay. Although he said he was trying to look for another job I didn't know if he was trying hard enough. The companies eventually stopped sending him bill statements because he wasn't making an effort in paying his bills off. Now my ex and I talked about having a family one day and actually spending the rest of our lives together, the only thing that bothered me was his financial status, he is twenty years old in community college and trying to focus on a basketball career. Now I didn't want to discourage him on his dream but I felt that he wasn't thinking reality. His odds are very slim in making it to the N.B.A., and if he doesn't make it to the N.B.A. his credit will be..well if it isn't already tarnished, and I refuse to spend my life with a man who can't even get his own cell phone in his name because his credit is horrible. I explained this to him time after time and I kind of got fed up, so i broke the relationship off. I don't want to sound like a gold digger but i want my future to be bright and I would like to spend it with a guy that is financially stable. So I was wondering did I do the right thing, or was I overreacting.

[HokeyReligions]

I've seen so many replies that say "if you had only done this" or "next relationship think about blah blah in advance"

 

It sounds like you are doing just that -- thinking things through realistically.

 

20 is pretty young so I wouldn't give up on him ever being gainfully employed, but it sounds like he has a hard lesson to learn about financial responsibility and thinking ahead. He might make the NBA someday, but he needs to have something to fall back on.

 

Seeing someone behave this irresponsibly about money and future planning is, in my mind anyway, a fair indicator of how they will behave in the future. Income is not they key - output is. The man who makes a million a year and spends a million and one is just as broke as the man with nothing to begin with. I'd rather be with someone who spends LESS than they make and knows the value of money and hard work.

 

Lots of couples split up over money - no I don't think you are overreacting.

[Gracie]

its frustrating to be in a relationship with someone who is less motivated. From my experience, men are much less responsible than women (at least younger men). Its hard to tell if a guy will ever change...it just depends on what is really important to you.