guest Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Last night after having sex with my boyfriend of three years and telling him to be ready for round two, he says to me as we are lying there, "have you been exercising lately cause it looks like you are getting a pot belly." First of all this is wrong on so many levels so I immediately just dressed and was mad at him the rest of the day. I'm still upset about this. For starters I am five foot 1 and weigh 100 lbs! I work out a few times a week, have a FLAT stomach and a nice body if I can say that without sounding conceited. I do not have any type of gut, or anything that hangs over my pants. I have the little tiny roll that most people have when they are slouched over or sitting down. I am not anorexic skinny- my chest is 34C so obviously I have some body fat but its not on my stomach. The part that sickens me is that about seven months ago my boyfriend and I were taking a two week break from our relationship because he was becoming too possesive and demanding all my time and on this break (even though we agreed to tell each other if we had sex with someone else) he slept with this woman he knew for years. It was a one night thing- he said he didnt mean for it to happen, that she came on to him. he said he didnt' find her attractive he was just lonely and horny. Well no offense to this woman but she is about my height but weights 175 lbs which is more than my boyfriend!! So she has 75 lbs on me and he was able to have sex with her. I'm sure she had a hell more of a pot belly than I"ll ever have! I'm just furious because where does he get off critizing me basically saying I'm overweight when he had sex with someone who is obese!!! He appologized to me and said he didnt' mean it as an insult but it wasn't a compliment either obviously. Why would he say such a thing??? Link to post Share on other sites
Not_That_Innocent Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I don't think he was ready for or wanted a round two so he decided to be a jerk instead! Are you insecure about your weight? I mean, do you ever make comments to him that you don't like your body or give him the impression that you're insecure about it? What a jerk! If I were you, I wouldn't let him touch my "pot belly" for a while. But that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
justanothermother Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 As someone who's more than a little overweight I would agree that I wouldn't let someone touch me for awhile if they made such a rude comment about my body right after making love. It was meant to hurt. He knew what he was doing. Is he holding some type of resentment towards you? Is he passive agressive? Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 "have you been exercising lately cause it looks like you are getting a pot belly." Two questions: Has he expressed a desire for heavier women in the past, or said he might like it if you gained weight? Is he concerned you might be pregnant? Sometimes guys are retarded when it comes to expressing their desires or fears. Plus, if you still have resentment about him sleeping with another woman, then what normally may have been a simple quesiton becomes a loaded insult. Not that he wasn't insensitive. But are there any other reasons he may have asked that? Doesn't seem like you'd be with a guy who's normally a jerk, and if this guy is normally a good guy, then why would he ask such a thing? Are there other emotions driving his question? Fear, desire, embarresment? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Two questions: Has he expressed a desire for heavier women in the past, or said he might like it if you gained weight? No, he constantly talks about how hot models and other skinny actresses are. He's always told me I have the nicest body of anyone he's ever dated and he can't believe someone that looks like me would be attracted to him (low self esteem maybe?). Is he concerned you might be pregnant? No, he said it was because a few weeks ago he noticed I was very tiny, he said I was to the point he was worried I wasn't eating enough (I've been stressed out) and then this week I looked like I had been eating a lot. Which is still not a nice thing to say. I was just shocked that he actually insulted me in such a way when he had no problem seeing someone who weighs considerably more than I do (and is the same height) and I doubt he told her about her "pot belly" and yet he's supposed to love me and he had the nerve to criticize me like that. Link to post Share on other sites
LN99 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Make him realize that the more he makes comments like that....the less he will be getting any.. And I agree....that was very rude! Payback is a b*tch though. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Bee Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Last night after having sex with my boyfriend of three years and telling him to be ready for round two, he says to me as we are lying there, "have you been exercising lately cause it looks like you are getting a pot belly." First of all this is wrong on so many levels so I immediately just dressed and was mad at him the rest of the day. I'm still upset about this. For starters I am five foot 1 and weigh 100 lbs! He appologized to me and said he didnt' mean it as an insult but it wasn't a compliment either obviously. Why would he say such a thing??? Sounds like you boyfriend had enough and just wanted to get out of round 2, he handled it terribly and was a jerk off for saying such a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Next time, just before round 1, pat him gently on the privates and ask him if he shrunk a bit. After he's finished his spate of indignation, do the comparison for him... Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Next time, just before round 1, pat him gently on the privates and ask him if he shrunk a bit. There you go. Scare him enough to the point of him getting the tape measure to check. :laugh: Guest: That was rude of him and even if he didn't want a round 2 he should of just said he didn't instead of saying what he said. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Bee Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Next time, just before round 1, pat him gently on the privates and ask him if he shrunk a bit. Perfect That should teach him to think before speaking next time. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 :laugh: I spit my coffee out just imagining that scenario! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Next time, just before round 1, pat him gently on the privates and ask him if he shrunk a bit. Brilliant - absolutely brilliant. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 lol, thanks ladies. Some things are sacrosanct within a relationship. Sometimes the other partner needs a little nudging to realize what is and what isn't appropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Your suggestions made me laugh. I really do want to say something like that to him. But I'm really afraid it would hurt his feelings because he actually is pretty small in that department and I'm not just saying that because I'm mad at him. He is insecure about it and I"ve never made a negative comment to him yet. But after this, boy would I like to insult his manhood so he knows how it feels. He appoligizes and keeps saying he didnt intend the comment to be mean. He said it was just an observation. I actually ended up screaming at him last night (not a good way to handle stuff I know) because it is still bothering me. I can't fathom how he would think that I"M becoming overweight when he was with someone who was so much heavier than me who is clearly overweight. that other woman is a sore spot for me because even though he didn't cheat on me with her (we were on a break) he lied to me and told me that he hadn't slept with anyone else (when in fact he had and I discovered this later) So maybe thats one reason I'm so sensitive about the subject. but he wont' be gettin' any for quite awhile and maybe that will make him realize that what he said just wasn't appropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Your suggestions made me laugh. I really do want to say something like that to him. But I'm really afraid it would hurt his feelings because he actually is pretty small in that department and I'm not just saying that because I'm mad at him. He is insecure about it and I"ve never made a negative comment to him yet. But after this, boy would I like to insult his manhood so he knows how it feels. Well then that probably would REALLY do a number on him then. Probably dont' want to do that then even though what he said was rude. Link to post Share on other sites
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