Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Sorry guy, but you are getting far too much out of mind games. Is this the type of woman and relationship you want? Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Really, is this some sort of sick joke? Knowing that a man such as yourself is out there sickens me. That girl may possibly jump from an emotionally and physically abusive relationship to a relationship with a twisted, narcissistic, game playing punk who likes to break up relationships? Truly disturbing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 Is this the type of woman and relationship you want? And what type of woman is that? Are you insinuating that she is trash because she fell into the trap that I specifically created for her? Really, is this some sort of sick joke? Knowing that a man such as yourself is out there sickens me. What the hell are you talking about? What is so bad about who I am? What could possibly be sickening about wanting to be with someone and then taking initiative to make it happen? We are not talking about skinning a cat alive here, we are talking about love and what I should do about it. Try not to make it sound worse than it actually is. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Reply: Thank you, Stace79. He doesn't get it. Re-read my post Intertwined. Wait. Don't. You won't get it. She'll only go into further shock, depression and dismantlement when he gets together with her. He's pushing the limits, slowly, into his direction for the sake of who knows what. Oh, I have been in similar situation as the one she's in. I know a lot about it -and let me tell you that it's not what it appears to be. It will get worse here on out. Stace79 said it well. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 And what type of woman is that? Are you insinuating that she is trash because she fell into the trap that I specifically created for her? I think you both have issues that need to be addressed first before getting into a committed relationship. When you begin your relationship or connection with someone with mind games to this extent, it's a recipe for disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 As the cliche goes, (and I know how much some of you love those cliches) "Alls fair in love and war" Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 No baby. You're not seeing the end-goal. If your end goal is only to have the chance to make it all the way with her, then I guess this is sufficient. If you want a solid relationship with someone, this is not the way to start it. Mutual trust and respect will never be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 She'll only go into further shock, depression and dismantlement when he gets together with her. He's pushing the limits, slowly, into his direction for the sake of who knows what. I think some of you are getting a little out of hand. Shock? Depression? Dismantlement! When she does eventually get together with me, she will be treated with nothing but love and respect. I have no intentions of harming her in any way whatsoever. She will be cherished, and will know it. Oh, I have been in similar situation as the one she's in. I know a lot about it -and let me tell you that it's not what it appears to be. So what? That is of no consequence to me. I am sure there are some disturbing character defects of hers that are kicking around, but so what? Really, who cares? Its not like its going to scare me away from her. I just know FIRST HAND how things are, which is not the same as SIMILAR. I have witnessed their interactions. That girl may possibly jump from an emotionally and physically abusive relationship to a relationship with a twisted, narcissistic, game playing punk Well, at least she will be loved, respected, cherished and desired when she does decide to come with me. At least she will get something out of it, which is more than I can say for her current prison guard..I mean boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 Furthermore, she will never know to what extent I made this happen. And she doesnt need to know. As long as in the end, she is treated with respect, love, and great care, does it really matter how it came about? Seriously, does it?? She stands to benefit a great deal from all of this, as will I, because she will be at my side. Why is there something wrong and sick about that? Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 You can't "make love happen." Trust me, I've tried. It just doesn't work. And the extent to which you are manipulating -- "handling" her -- is disgusting. It honestly sounds like a game to you. How far can you go to "get" her? How much will she tolerate? Which mind game will work the best to possibly break up her and her bf? Really, I cannot even begin to describe my distaste for the statements you are making. She may not know what you are doing to "make this happen," but I do...and if any man ever acted the way you are, I would never trust him. Really, it sounds more like you're trying to play a game of chess than gain the respect, companionship and trust of a woman you supposedly love. I doubt you know what it means to really love someone. Love is something you do...and game-playing is not the action to take. Furthermore, she will never know to what extent I made this happen. And she doesnt need to know. As long as in the end, she is treated with respect, love, and great care, does it really matter how it came about? Seriously, does it?? She stands to benefit a great deal from all of this, as will I, because she will be at my side. Why is there something wrong and sick about that? Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Well, at least she will be loved, respected, cherished and desired when she does decide to come with me. At least she will get something out of it, which is more than I can say for her current prison guard..I mean boyfriend. Lastly, I really, REALLY despise when any man presumes to know what is best for me. I suspect she would feel the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 Intertwined, a tip, though; you say her body come alive in your hands. If you try to force her and that body goes dead for more than, say 20 seconds, you should probably back off. (But it won't be a problem, since you prefer to coax and wait until she takes the initiative.) I think that Erik knows what he is talking about, and his mind is far more refreshing than the average run of the mill mind. I coax and wait because my greatest desire, next to having her with me, is having her come to me and for me all on her own. I can only set the stage so much. It is ultimately up to her to come the rest of the distance. If I have done all I can and she still wont come, thenI suppose I could do more, but that is bordering on obsessive and desperate, and it hasnt gotten to that point. If I know her like I know her, it shouldnt be too much longer before she breaks down and comes to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 Lastly, I really, REALLY despise when any man presumes to know what is best for me. I suspect she would feel the same. Lets see....hmmm....love, respect, desire, caring verses vindictive, hurtful, abusive and mean...Im not certain, but most people would assume that the former is what is best for them.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 wwiu, on this, you and I agree. I noticed the more I pushed her, the more she turned to ice and backed off, and tried to ignore me. Since then, I have made it more comfortable for her, by backing off. Until she is out of that relationship, don't make any intimate moves on her. Emotionally or physically. It's just confusing her, isn't fair to her - She can't give ALL of her to you right now because of her boyfriend. I'm glad though that you've backed off. Pressuring her more than likely will backfire on you. You want her in your life? BE a supportive friend. Put her feelings and her needs first, above your own needs and desires. That is what true friends do for eachother... I coax and wait because my greatest desire, next to having her with me, is having her come to me and for me all on her own. That won't happen until she breaks up with her boyfriend. Don't even try tempting her while she's still with him. I can only set the stage so much. It is ultimately up to her to come the rest of the distance. Yes, it is up to her, when and IF she feels ready. If I have done all I can and she still wont come, thenI suppose I could do more, but that is bordering on obsessive and desperate, and it hasnt gotten to that point. If I know her like I know her, it shouldnt be too much longer before she breaks down and comes to me. Funny thing, you can't really predict humans. Sure, you "think" all will go your way if and when she ends the relationship with her boyfriend, but I tell ya now, she WILL NOT go running into your arms as soon as that happens. You want a healthy and happy relationship with her? Leave her alone after she ends it with him. Give her even MORE space to sort out her feelings, that way IF the time comes that she wants to go out with you, she will do it on HER time, when she feels emotionally and physically ready for another relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 You want a healthy and happy relationship with her? Leave her alone after she ends it with him. Give her even MORE space to sort out her feelings, that way IF the time comes that she wants to go out with you, she will do it on HER time, when she feels emotionally and physically ready for another relationship. Exactly. It's like adding more pressure to a pressure cooker. Something's gotta' blow. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 As the cliche goes, (and I know how much some of you love those cliches) "Alls fair in love and war" I love the irony of that reference. It is credited from coming from Euphues: The Anatomy of Wit. It refers to Euphues, who is desperately trying to steal a woman from another man. He succeeds, but then she cheats on him and leaves him soon after. I'm not really going to offer any input except that cliches aren't always to be ignored. A wise person learns from the mistakes of others. Then again... you may just think this is all cliche anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Lets see....hmmm....love, respect, desire, caring verses vindictive, hurtful, abusive and mean...Im not certain, but most people would assume that the former is what is best for them.... Seems to me you've put this girl on a pedestal. As great as she may be... she's needs, absolutely has to, stand on her own two feet. If you can help her with one single thing, then teach her that. How to stand on her own. Isn't that the embodiment of love? To want the best for the person we love regardless of our own wants and needs. Shouldn't your goal be to make her life the best it can be.. not for your sake, but for hers. You know her fairly well.. what is best for her? Not what would be best for you, or what would be good for her but also benefit you... but what is best for her without thinking about yourself too? She needs to realize that she is a capable woman with her own mind and her own life to lead. But right now you're wants superseed hers. This isn't about getting her out of an abusive relationship so that she can get the therapy she needs, or find her own strength.. this is all about what you want. How happy she'll make you. How you feel. This is all about you... and she's just a pawn in the game. She leaves her bf, nothing will change. She still won't have friends, she still won't have her own life, her own destiny. Are you going to encourage her to go out and meet new people? Encourage her to seek new experiences? Encourage her to live her life even if it conflicts with yours? Will you allow her to grow even knowing she'll probably leave you if you help her in this? Or would you hold her back, afraid she'll meet someone else, afraid she'll leave you too? Will you do anything to hold onto her, even if it hurts her? I don't care if you manipulate the hell out of the situation and the bf kicks the snot out of her... what I do care about is the truth. So far, I've read a hell of a lot of cloaked half truths from you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Great post reply Walk! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intertwined Posted March 14, 2007 Author Share Posted March 14, 2007 Are you going to encourage her to go out and meet new people? Encourage her to seek new experiences? Encourage her to live her life even if it conflicts with yours? Will you allow her to grow even knowing she'll probably leave you if you help her in this? Eventually. I am still mulling over several scenarios right now. This could go several different ways. Its hard to tell which route I will take with her without being in that situation. When she is in my hands, I should have a clearer picture. For now, I am quietly probing her brain to get a clearer image. Great post reply Walk! I agree, Walk. Link to post Share on other sites
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