Working with my boyfriend

[Guest180]

I am graduating from college in June and need to find a job. My boyfriend works at this great company who happens to be hiring. They are looking for someone to have the same title that he has, and he has been encouraging me to apply for it.

 

The job itself is awesome, I would be making about $22-25 an hour doing research for a pharmaceutical company. That is basically a dream job for a new college graduate, as most of the other people who work there are in their 30's and have had years of experience. Similar companies won't even consider you as an applicant unless you have had at least a year of experience.

 

I know a few other people who work there, not through him, one doesn't know that I am dating a guy who works there (although she does know that we know eachother from school) and the other does know that we are dating, both of them are encouraging me to apply. The one who doesn't know I am dating one of her employees would be a major influence in if I get hired or not, and she says that as long as I did well in the interview I would get the job because she knows me and how I work.

 

When I first heard about this job I was not even considering taking the opportunity because I don't think it is a good idea to work with my boyfriend. But I have talked to several friends about it and all but one have told me to go for it. I know that my bf and I could act professional at work and no one would know we were dating, even if we broke up I think we are both mature enough to still work together.

 

What do you think? Should I apply for the job? Should I tell them that I am dating a guy that already works there?

[reservoirdog1]

Absolutely, go for it. Why deny yourself the opportunity? Just make sure that everything between you and BF at work is strictly business. Go for lunch together and stuff, but DON'T be all cuddly at the office. What you want is for people to say that, if they didn't KNOW you guys were in a relationship, they'd never have guessed.

 

Besides, think of the built-up tension by the end of the day...

[Guest180]

Absolutely, go for it. Why deny yourself the opportunity? Just make sure that everything between you and BF at work is strictly business. Go for lunch together and stuff, but DON'T be all cuddly at the office. What you want is for people to say that, if they didn't KNOW you guys were in a relationship, they'd never have guessed.

 

Besides, think of the built-up tension by the end of the day...

 

I'd really like to hear other opinions on this. I am really torn with what to do. I have heard a lot of people say that you shouldn't start dating a coworker, so what is different here, except that we are dating before I apply for the job?

[Guest180]

any thoughts anyone... Should I go ahead and take the job or am I just asking for trouble if I do?

[Guest]

any thoughts anyone... Should I go ahead and take the job or am I just asking for trouble if I do?

 

Well, I'm assuming it's been established that the company does not have any sort of policy against coworkers dating?

 

You said you'd have the same title as your boyfriend... would you be working in the same department and reporting to the same supervisor? If so, are there any openings in a separate department that you might be a good fit for?

 

The company I'm at (similar field to the one you're considering) does not have a policy against interoffice dating in general; however I'm not sure what its official stance is when the employees in question work in the same department and under the same supervisor. That could be tricky, at least from the supervisor's point of view.

 

If a supervisor has a couple working for him and ends up having to discipline (or fire, or...) one of them, the sup may wonder: how will the other half of the couple react? Will it be a problem? You may know that you could handle these kinds of scenarios but a supervisor might have some concerns. A supervisor might see it as a situation that has the potential to become inconvenient for them... one more thing to worry about.

 

As for whether or not to tell the company that you are in a relationship with an employee, I don't know. If you didn't tell anyone and it somehow got out that you had been an item back when you applied for the job, do you think that could be a problem?

 

I guess if...

 

- you are clear on the company's policy concerning: 1. interoffice dating, 2. not only interoffice dating, but dating between employees who work closely together and report to the same people, 3. bringing in a new hire who is dating an employee

 

and

 

- you and your boyfriend have talked about all of the different issues (If you decide to not mention to the company that the two of you are dating, how long will you keep your relationship a secret? Will you be able to work well alongside your boyfriend even when you're going through a rough patch, have had a fight the previous night, etc.?

 

How will seeing your boyfriend for up to 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, change your relationship, if at all? How will you handle offsite company events and parties? Will both of you attend? If you do both attend, will you come together? What if the two of you become the subject of company gossip? Etc., etc.)

 

and

 

- you have considered other companies and positions, and this is the best option.

 

... it may be worth considering. The only advice I can think of is that you should really give it a lot of thought and iron out all the little details with your boyfriend if you do decide to work with him, so that you're both in agreement on how you will handle the various scenarios that could come up.

 

Also, if for some reason things don't work out between the two of you, it's hard to really know how you'll feel about working with your boyfriend... many people have said it's extremely awkward.

 

Only you know what's best... just think it through before you decide. Good luck!