Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 To all the stay at home moms. I'm from Denmark. Here, being a STAHM is a stigmatum worse than unemployment is for a man. It means you are stupid and worthless and unable to hack it in real life. Denmark's got the highest frequency for working women in the world. That means, that typically, a girl is expected to bring home her share of the bread AND do the cooking, the cleaning, the kids and all the other stuff men are smart enough to let women do. And forget about maids, they are perhaps for the upper 5% income bracket. The economy is dependent on all hands manning the galley oars, i.e. you need two full time jobs to afford babies. It is the norm that kids are sent to a run down day care center 9 hrs. every day, Danish psychologists admonish STAHM's that their kids are suffering socially, if they are kept away from the day care center. I think you should consider yourself lucky. Raising your kids is the most important thing you will ever do, and many people do not get that chance. And remember this, for all the bitching about men: the hand that rocks the cradle, rocks the world. We are what you made us, and if the world doesn't rock, you are the closest ones to change that. So Erik, does this mean you would be willing to stay at home with the kids for a decade and a half, if your wife made enough to support the kids and you? Link to post Share on other sites
mockeryjones Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 So Erik, does this mean you would be willing to stay at home with the kids for a decade and a half, if your wife made enough to support the kids and you? i for one pray for that nightly Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 i for one pray for that nightly Do you really? Is this your situation where you're married with a stay-at-home wife? Link to post Share on other sites
mockeryjones Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Do you really? Is this your situation where you're married with a stay-at-home wife? yes i do. i would do just about anything to be the one staying at home taking care of the kids. however as of this moment it is my wife who fills that responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 yes i do. i would do just about anything to be the one staying at home taking care of the kids. however as of this moment it is my wife who fills that responsibility. Good for you and I mean that seriously. If you're man enough to be willing to do this without having concerns about ego, more power to you. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Good for you and I mean that seriously. If you're man enough to be willing to do this without having concerns about ego, more power to you. Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. Not all men are evil bastards. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. Not all men are evil bastards. Never said they were. That was your assumption. Link to post Share on other sites
justpassingthrough Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 If a spouse is withholding sex...there's a reason...either the husb isn't doing his part or the wife isnt' doing her part...it might be health, it might be stress..or it might be that one treats the other disrepectfully in other areas of the marriage. Sure, there's a reason but I don't buy "I'm too stressed" as a reason. It's a cop-out. It's an excuse. What better stress relief is there than a roll in the hay, a big-O? None that I can think of. And what better way could there possibly be to end your STRESSful day than with your body parts tangled up with the person you you agreed to forsake all others for, the person you agreed to love, honor and obey? None that I can think of. But that's just me. And I'm from the school of thought that says the happier I make him, the happier he'll make me. Again, that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Women...... yes you frigid women who are treated well by your spouse.... you know who you are. For cripes sake meet your husbands needs and give him sex. Suck the weiner, ride him like a pony. You expect flowers, hugs, fidelity...... and what are you giving? You really expect him to plan things, spend hours being a great husband and you cannot give him 5 frickin' moments of pleasure? I put this here because it is about meeting needs...... not just sex. Good deal a4a. I don't understand why some woman would do that. why do these broads need to go the extra mile when they are already getting everything they want? Thats part of loving another individual. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Women...... yes you frigid women who are treated well by your spouse.... you know who you are. For cripes sake meet your husbands needs and give him sex. Suck the weiner, ride him like a pony. You expect flowers, hugs, fidelity...... and what are you giving? You really expect him to plan things, spend hours being a great husband and you cannot give him 5 frickin' moments of pleasure? I put this here because it is about meeting needs...... not just sex. Funny thing is...the women who are like this wonder what is going on when the husband finally stops asking for sex and gets use to the idea that he won't ever get it again. Then all of a sudden, the wife's "needs" aren't being met and she needs to feel special...so she goes out and has an affair. WTF?? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Funny thing is...the women who are like this wonder what is going on when the husband finally stops asking for sex and gets use to the idea that he won't ever get it again. Then all of a sudden, the wife's "needs" aren't being met and she needs to feel special...so she goes out and has an affair. WTF?? Good point and it is a sad but true reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 They may not NEED to but if they know how good they have it at home they should WANT to make their spouses happy. I too am tired of hearing from one of my friends who is doted upon as if the sun rises and sets for her by her husband whine about her husband wanting BJs. I want to yell at her: So what! Give him as many BJs as he wants! He treats you like you are a goddess. Don't be stupid enough to mess that up because you don't like giving BJs!! Seriously, she must be insane if she doesn't see what she has at home. I would kill for my significant other to treat me with one fourth of the consideration he shows for her.. but you know...funny thing is...it is these types of husbands that get cheated on. they treat the wife like a goddess, then walk all over them. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 but you know...funny thing is...it is these types of husbands that get cheated on. they treat the wife like a goddess, then walk all over them. Not necessarily true. A guy can still treat his lady like gold, but at the same time, don't let it get to the point of her walking all over him. Link to post Share on other sites
CynicalP Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Here's my opinion and observations concerning this. Women hold the keys to the sexual kingdom. If they don't want sex it's not happening - unless a they are violently forced against their will and we all know that's not sex but rape. If the woman is not somewhat sexually assertive within the relationship that places the man in the awkward position of solely initiating the sex. What usually happens is for most of the men who post "I'm in a sexless marriage" try to initiate the act only to face rejection. The more the man faces rejection the less likely he will initiate sex until a point is reach where the emotional and mental frustration is just not worth the hassle. Said man will turn to porn, or find another woman perhaps, or just go postal. In the end the man will not look at his wife as a source of his sexual release. It's a lose lose situation for all. Women crave attention and affection, men are no different, but men crave sexual intimacy as their attention and affection whereas women ( generally speaking of course ) crave for men to listen to them, cuddle and kiss them, provide them random unsolicted gifts, whole list of honey-do projects, and constant reinforcement of three simple words "I LOVE YOU". Who to say which sex fails to fill the others attention and affection quotient first, but it doesn't matter one partner will feel slighted then withhold attention and affection, which creates the cycle where neither sex is receiving what the want or need. Resentment and bitterness is the end result of the this cycle. I think JMargel Post on this topic is spot on for the average guys prespective. Trialbyfire - I am sorry you view most men as Homer Simpson, there are a few of them but I don't think society's current sterotype of husbands and fathers is an accurate one. Also, I'm sorry you husband cheated on you. Did you make attempt to satisify his needs or did you fall into the cycle of withholding attention and affection? Moose - I think your wife is emotionally manipulating you and taking advantage of your religous ideals. Your entitled to have your needs and desires met. Your absolving her any responsibility for the matter and what's worse is your blaming yourself. A4A- brillant topic you created here. I wonder if more women adopted your approach if the divorce rate would be as high provided the men lived up to women's expectations as well. If you should ever run for office you have won my vote! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Women hold the keys to the sexual kingdom. you better believe that CYNICALP Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Trialbyfire - I am sorry you view most men as Homer Simpson, there are a few of them but I don't think society's current sterotype of husbands and fathers is an accurate one. Also, I'm sorry you husband cheated on you. Did you make attempt to satisify his needs or did you fall into the cycle of withholding attention and affection? Methinks you missed some posts... Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 So Erik, does this mean you would be willing to stay at home with the kids for a decade and a half, if your wife made enough to support the kids and you? Of course. I'd kill for at chance like that. As I said, raising kids is the most important thing in your life. I was a single father for three years, and it broke my heart every time I had to send my daughter into the hands of the day care professionals. Not that they were bad persons, they were just, well, professionals. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Of course. I'd kill for at chance like that. As I said, raising kids is the most important thing in your life. I was a single father for three years, and it broke my heart every time I had to send my daughter into the hands of the day care professionals. Not that they were bad persons, they were just, well, professionals. Another guy who is ballsy enough to not be afraid to admit it. Nice to see. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I'm honestly surprise that you ask, trialbyfire. Is that really so implausible? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Just curious to see how many guys would be willing to state this in public versus too concerned about their manhood to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Just curious to see how many guys would be willing to state this in public versus too concerned about their manhood to do so. I wouldn't mind that either, but I would have to have a part-time job in addition to raising the kids. I would go nuts if I were at home all hours of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Uhm, yes. The manhood thing could be an issue, didn't think of that. But that stuff is not so bad in Denmark, and I'm pretty certain I could figure out other ways to establish a sensible balance of terror. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Uhm, yes. The manhood thing could be an issue, didn't think of that. But that stuff is not so bad in Denmark, and I'm pretty certain I could figure out other ways to establish a sensible balance of terror. Its not an issue if you are confident with yourself and you don't the negative opinions of others get you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Riddler: Being at home could be a problem, yes, but so was is most jobs I've held. Life drives you nuts anywhichever. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Riddler: Being at home could be a problem, yes, but so was is most jobs I've held. Life drives you nuts anywhichever. Thats true. Having a 40 hour work week drives me nuts. I think that I could handle part-time at a job though. Link to post Share on other sites
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