Married Men in Strip Clubs

[typical]

This is my response to strip clubs:

 

Bottom line, if seeing naked (or nearly naked) women gyrating their bits in your face is worth losing your marriage, then go for it.

 

Men who are in loving COMMITTED relationships should not be seeing (nor should they WANT to, or be INTERESTED in) seeing what another person has going on underneath their clothes.

 

Obviously, the men are not going for alcohol, (they could go to a bar for that) they are not going for the music (they could go to a club for that). They are there for one reason and one reason only- To watch naked women gyrating. And that is what is disturbing for the women who are involved in a (what is supposed to be) loving, COMMITTED relationship.

[jmargel]

MOST women don't ever want, need or look to refuel their femininity-womanly desirabilty outside of their relationship when they have a loving partner--they are satisfied, fulfilled and mindful of the man in their life and the relationship!!!!!!!

 

LOL.. Just look in the infelidity section and see how many women are cheating on their husbands. Or how about the stories from the men here that their wife just up and left and the only reason they got was 'I need space', which is another way of saying 'There is another man involved'.

 

Men who are in loving COMMITTED relationships should not be seeing (nor should they WANT to, or be INTERESTED in) seeing what another person has going on underneath their clothes.

 

Yes my Goddess, we shall bow onto thee. For you are the ruler of all morals. We vow not to see another set of boobies for the sake of all that is good. For I am not human but a robot when I became involved in a committed relationship. My eyes dare not wander for it would be cheating. You must control us men for we are not intelligent enough to make rational decisions. We promise to put all of our own self-worth into you.

 

[sarcasm off]

 

lol.. get real here. News flash. If you have a husband or bf right now I can guarantee he admires at least one other female out there which is not you. However he is intelligent and has enough morals to not cheat. Going to a strip club is not going to make him think otherwise. Ever think a man goes to a strip club to get away from attitudes such as yours? To see women that really don't care what they do? They don't try to control, pressure or nag them? It's a stress relief to a man knowing there are women out there that actually just want to have a harmless, good time. Even if the chick is out there to make money.

 

I really hope you don't treat you SO this way. This is a guarantee way for you to lose him eventually.

[Carbine]

No woman is "OK" with her SO attending a strip club. Many reasons abound but the overwhelming majority feels it is disrespectful to their relationship by way of the man being exposed to and "entertained" by some chick flashing her tits and other below the belt areas. If they want to see this then surely the SO is all they need to see and should see.

 

Good summary, I agree. The one thing it's missing though is an analysis of why the overwhelming majority of women nowadays will not admit that they feel this way deep down. Instead, it's now the 'done' thing for females to pretend to be 'thrilled' that their SO is off to a SC for the night, or to tag along to the SC's themselves, and even get lapdanced by another chick. All in the name of 'empowerment' or 'trust' or even 'exploration/curiosity'. Empowerment my a**!! These morons are empowering men, not women! To me its simply a case of 'if you can't beat 'em, join em'.

 

The way our society is heading seriously disturbs me. All this bi-sexual fashion crap and open relationship nonsense that is coming from the nether regions of god-knows-where. It causes women to place enormous amounts of peer-pressure on one another. Because, the more others are doing it, then the more 'okay' it is, right? Wrong! God forbid one of us stands up and refuses to bleet acceptance! We're cut down quicker than a tall poppy in a raided opium field. The 'empowered' sheep can't handle it when someone like me points out the truth, it's too damn scary for them to face reality. Ive no doubt that these women are secretly jealous of me and my ability to put my foot down when it's sorely needed. And also I've no doubt that these women probably have lower self-esteem I do, and the only way to deal with it is to tell themselves that they're empowered and at the same time tearing strips off me for being "jealous" and for not dealing with my "self-esteem" issues - the very problems that they have!

 

What the hell is wrong with people?? Apparently we live in a day and age where women are meant to be able stand up for their rights but then you get twisted stuff like this going on. So suddenly I'm uncool or backward if I don't perve on other chicks am I? I'm abnormal if I don't feel 'curious' enough to tag along to a SC occasionally aren't I? Oh yes, and of course I'm mentally unstable if I forbid my SO to go to a SC and get jealous if/when he does.

 

Ha! Whatever you reckon, guys. At least I can say that I still have a mind of my own...

[Sevenmack]

Typical wrote: Bottom line, if seeing naked (or nearly naked) women gyrating their bits in your face is worth losing your marriage, then go for it.

 

Men who are in loving COMMITTED relationships should not be seeing (nor should they WANT to, or be INTERESTED in) seeing what another person has going on underneath their clothes.

 

Apparently you think that the male desire for looking at the other flesh ends when they get into a relationship or marriage. Tell that to some of my pals, some of whom have been married for 50 years or more, who still read Playboy, watch porn and occasionally stroll into a strip club. Those men (and women; one of my pals is a woman happily married 36 years to her husband) still admire beauty and yet, manage to maintain happy marriages.

 

The relationships I've known that have had the most difficulties have tended to be one's in which the wife demands her husband to eschew decades of looking of women and ignore every urge to do so. This is unrealistic. A man who enjoys looking at other women is far more likely to enjoy being with his wife -- and admiring her beauty -- than a misogynist.

 

The reality is that a married man going to a strip club isn't going to cheat on his wife; if he cheats, it will be because of other issues within the relationship -- lack of communication, unwillingness to grow together -- than a G-string in his face. Perhaps if you, Carbine and others realize this, you wouldn't be commiserating about your relationship woes on Loveshack.

[lrae]

What about husbands that go to strip clubs for lunch???

 

I said "WHAT?" and then laughed at him when he straight faced said to me that this joint served good food. Can you say DISTURBING???

 

So then I asked; do you pay them? Do you spend money at the strippers? He said no, but that the guys he goes with sometimes do. Apparently many a man enjoys target practice. Who knows if he would tell me the truth on a "hot topic" anyways?

 

Seriously though, what gives??? Generally speaking (so as to not mortally offend) men & our society are messed up.

[Sevenmack]

If he isn't cheating on you, then it's not a problem. Eating lunch at a strip joint is not my cup of tea, but for some people, it's no different than eating lunch at McDonalds.

 

That's all I have to say about all of this. If you think men and society is messed up because of the desire to go to strip clubs, Irae, than you apparently haven't thought much about divorces, infidelity or politicians rallying against gay marriage. You really need to get out into the world more.

[Carbine]

Re-read ALL of my posts before taking one snippit out of context to help booster your own case. I find that very immature that you would do something like this. I suggest before replying again that you re-read the WHOLE post including all of my comments.

Riiiggghht...tell me again what I'm missing? I re-read, and maybe i'm missing something blatantly obvious (in which case i do apologise immensely for my 'immaturity') but I fail to see how i took something out of context.

 

Maybe you would like to talk to my wife and try to convince her I was cheating, since she was perfectly OK with this, and even me going out to a SC later with another female.

 

I've no idea whether or not theres an ounce of seriousness in what you're asking, but I have no legitimate reason to try and convince your wife that she was cheated upon, in order to benefit her in any way. I do however have an endless supply of insults reserved for women like your wife, but I doubt she'd want to hear any of these.

 

And no she is not subservant wimp. It's that she trusts me, and is not insecure like some women on here. For you to try to point out guys here who have gone to SCs and try to point the finger at us, saying we cheated is just disgusting. I really hope you look at your own insecurities and what has caused this.

 

So I'm disgusting for having insecurities and expecting my SO not to behave in a way that will reinforce these? And I'm disgusting for trying to point out my reasoning to a bunch of men who are might I add, the sorts of men who perpetuate my insecurities in the first place? Riiiggght...

 

I find that very immature that you would do something like this

 

I find it very immature to contradict yourself within the same thread like this:

 

It doesn't matter what kind of tempation is in front of you, you are responsible for your own actions.

You are at a strip club and these things happen

 

The reality is that a married man going to a strip club isn't going to cheat on his wife; if he cheats, it will be because of other issues within the relationship -- lack of communication, unwillingness to grow together -- than a G-string in his face. Perhaps if you, Carbine and others realize this, you wouldn't be commiserating about your relationship woes on Loveshack.

 

If that were the case then I'd be the one cheating, not him. Do i really seem like the type of person who's unwilling to communicate? As for growing together, well how am i meant to muster up the enthusiasm to do this when I don't even feel good enough to be his girlfriend? If we're out doing stuff and trying to 'grow together' and suddenly his attention is diverted by some sl*t in skimpy clothing who happens to be walking by, then how do you think that makes me feel? How many times must I say this - I do NOT think that him going to a SC will lead to him cheating in the sense of having sex/kissing/heavy petting. Am I not getting through to you??

[lrae]

Sevenmack, OUCH!!

 

But I do feel compelled to ask how wether he was cheating or not should make lunch at a strip club more palatable? No seriously, going to stripclubs is OK unless you're a cheater??

[lrae]

Sevenmack, OUCH!!

 

But I do feel compelled to ask how wether he was cheating or not should make lunch at a strip club more palatable?

 

Seriously, going to stripclubs is OK unless you're a cheater?? Pls advise.

[typical]

Ever think a man goes to a strip club to get away from attitudes such as yours? To see women that really don't care what they do? They don't try to control, pressure or nag them?

 

They dont try to control, pressure or nag the men?! Of course they do. They just do it in an underhanded sneaky way. Its called luring them with their bodies to recieve monetary rewards. Thats controlling.

 

It's a stress relief to a man knowing there are women out there that actually just want to have a harmless, good time.

 

 

Oh yes, god forbid you should want to have a harmless good time with your SO instead. Maybe if you focused more on bringing the hot sensual $hit back into your relationship, then you wouldnt feel the need to blow off a load...ermmm I mean steam at the strip club. That is absolutely ridiculous, what you are saying. Get a grip! "Seeing naked women bouncing around before me is a stress relief"....

 

 

I really hope you don't treat you SO this way. This is a guarantee way for you to lose him eventually.

 

Hasnt worked yet...in fact, It is the other way around. I am trying to lose him.

 

Apparently you think that the male desire for looking at the other flesh ends when they get into a relationship or marriage.

 

I was trying to prove the basis for going to a strip club. And you said it beautifully right there, with that sarcastic comment. That is the reason men go to the strip club. The desire to look at OTHER flesh. Can you not see how that would make a wife or girlfriend insecure or possibly hurt their feelings??

 

Generally, its an accepted thought process that when you marry, you are forsaking all other forms of sexual gratification with other people other than your SO...Do I still have that right? Or has that changed?

 

I mean, Christ on a crutch here, have a f-ing emotional temper tantrum over not getting to see a bunch of titties and pussies..."waaaaahhh...I want to see new pussies and titties...wwwwwwwwwahhhh" Can you not see how utterly f-ing ridiculous that is? Geeezzz get a f-ing grip already.

 

How about having some hot sex with your SO, I am talking about mentally hot, mindblowing passionate sex and CONNECTING with her mentally and blowing her f-ing mind? That can be a great stress relief too, from what I hear.

 

Its so much easier to just forgo that and stare at some strange who is pumping your wallet to feed her overinflated ego.

[jmargel]

Ive no doubt that these women are secretly jealous of me and my ability to put my foot down when it's sorely needed. And also I've no doubt that these women probably have lower self-esteem I do, and the only way to deal with it is to tell themselves that they're empowered and at the same time tearing strips off me for being "jealous" and for not dealing with my "self-esteem" issues - the very problems that they have!

 

Oh dear lord. Please.. Get over yourself. Somehow I believe you are linked to a feminist group? Because of your insecurities you have to resort to bashing women that actually are secure enough within' themselves and trust their spouse?

 

Sorry but your recent post was more of a bashing than anything that contained intelligence in regards to SC and relationships. Honestly I don't think you are capable of opening your mind enough with this subject to even get anywhere with you. Keep laying the hammer down and just notice how you will lose your SO over things like this. You sound like a mother to her son, telling him what he can and can't do.

 

 

So I'm disgusting for having insecurities and expecting my SO not to behave in a way that will reinforce these?

 

Right there tells the story. The problem lays with YOU. Not your SO. This is something YOU need to fix within' yourself and it if you don't you will eventually drive your SO away. You can't expect anyone to shoulder the burdens of your insecurities and lack of trust. Whatever caused those is something you need to deal with, with a counselor. You can't expect people to conform to your standards of living.

 

I've no idea whether or not theres an ounce of seriousness in what you're asking, but I have no legitimate reason to try and convince your wife that she was cheated upon, in order to benefit her in any way. I do however have an endless supply of insults reserved for women like your wife, but I doubt she'd want to hear any of these.

 

This really does show how insecure and immature you are. When you start to directly insult like this, it shows you really don't have good substance to your views.

 

So I'm disgusting for having insecurities and expecting my SO not to behave in a way that will reinforce these?

 

Don't put words in my mouth. I said what disgusting is, is you labeling me and all the other men out there who goto a strip club as cheaters. It is not your SO's responsibility to deal with your insecurities. It is yours. This is something you need to fix for yourself. Relationships that are laced with insecurity and lack of trust either usually don't last or not happy ones.

 

 

Do i really seem like the type of person who's unwilling to communicate?

 

Quite frankly, yes. You have a one-sided view. For you it's either black or white with no gray in between.

 

If we're out doing stuff and trying to 'grow together' and suddenly his attention is diverted by some sl*t in skimpy clothing who happens to be walking by, then how do you think that makes me feel?

 

Insecure - Jealously, upsetment, resentment that he would look her way.

 

Unsecure - Puts a smile on your face because even though this chick might be hot, you are the one he is with and to know that just looking at someone is really nothing but eye-candy. What he has with you is 'substance'.

 

I honestly think the women that have problems with SCs have either on going problems in their relationship, insecure or have trust issues. That and your imagination has run wild in terms of what goes on in these places.

[typical]

The captain of the team is also a sleaze bag from some of the things I have heard about him and it is him organising the night.

 

Why does that not surprise me? I have found that alot of the men that I know that go to strip clubs, are the ones that have skeeved me out the most. Their interactions with me have been creepy and slightly perverted. Before you men start ramming your objections down my throat, note that I did say the word alot, not all, because truth be told, all of the men I know (which have been about 10) that do attend strip clubs, have that same pervy behaviour, but I realize that in general not every single man who goes to one will act that way. Only the ones I happen to know for some reason....

[Woggle]

YUP--PATHETIC

MOST women don't ever want, need or look to refuel their femininity-womanly desirabilty outside of their relationship when they have a loving partner--they are satisfied, fulfilled and mindful of the man in their life and the relationship!!!!!!!

 

Are you serious? Is that why there is an epidmeic of women having affairs and not having a single thought about their husband's feelings? Is that why most women have a you go girl metality towards cheating women because they are turning the table on what men have done for years? Did you not see that women's infidelity board? The hypocrisy in this thread is disgusting/

[Sevenmack]

I hope you realize Woggle that you're talking to brick walls. As far as they are concerned, strip club strolling equals cheating. And there's nothing more filled with hubris -- and more likely to be hoisted upon their petards -- than made-up minds.

[rainfall]

Re-read ALL of my posts before taking one snippit out of context to help booster your own case. I find that very immature that you would do something like this. I suggest before replying again that you re-read the WHOLE post including all of my comments.

 

Maybe you would like to talk to my wife and try to convince her I was cheating, since she was perfectly OK with this, and even me going out to a SC later with another female.

 

And no she is not subservant wimp. It's that she trusts me, and is not insecure like some women on here. For you to try to point out guys here who have gone to SCs and try to point the finger at us, saying we cheated is just disgusting. I really hope you look at your own insecurities and what has caused this.

 

 

 

Well geez.. I guess you speak for every woman in this world. Congrats. I don't think anyone as ever been able to get everyone to agree to one thing. Or in other words.. Get over yourself.

 

It's all about trusting your partner. It's not environment or the situation they are in that makes them cheat. It's their immaturity and personality that does. And by just going to a strip club does not mean you are immature, have a personality problem or a cheater. Period.

 

Maybe you are jealous of the girls there, I don't know. But whatever it may be, I really hope you keep your mind a little more open about subjects like this.

 

Please I am secure enough with myself to know that a deserve better then to date someone who is a shallow piece of trash who has such little respect for my feelings that he thinks he can do whatever he pleases and have who ever he wants to rub their naked body all over him.

 

I do not try to "control" my boyfriend. He is free to do whatever he wants. Although he knows if he does certain action I will leave him. Just as I know if I do certain things he would probably leave me.

 

Just because I feel it is wrong for my boyfriend to pay another women money to dry hump him it makes me insecure? That is one of the biggest loads of crap I have ever heard.

 

Also if he goes to a strip club he is going to look at the chicks there. Its not for the great conversation or food. I feel if I am going to be in a relationship with someone then I am the only live naked chick that should be anywhere near my man.

[Woggle]

I hope you realize Woggle that you're talking to brick walls. As far as they are concerned, strip club strolling equals cheating. And there's nothing more filled with hubris -- and more likely to be hoisted upon their petards -- than made-up minds.

 

I know. It is backwards world when strip clubs are cheating but a woman having an affair is liberation.

[a4a]

I know. It is backwards world when strip clubs are cheating but a woman having an affair is liberation.

 

Woggle again this is your skewed view ...... you really need to get a grip on this mother thing.

 

I don't have one female friend or male friend that would agree to your statement.

 

Cheaters suck!

 

and I wonder how you would feel to watch your spouses have naked men all over them. Or just watch your spouse dance in a very seductive manner clothed with a stranger.

 

how bout a male just laying on them.... or them sitting on the lap of another male?

 

It is not sex remember.

[rainfall]

I know. It is backwards world when strip clubs are cheating but a woman having an affair is liberation.

 

Cheating sucks no matter who does it.

[Carbine]

Oh dear lord. Please.. Get over yourself. Somehow I believe you are linked to a feminist group? Because of your insecurities you have to resort to bashing women that actually are secure enough within' themselves and trust their spouse?

 

Haha actually I despise those who parade as feminists. I know very few women who are truly 'secure' as you put it. You simply do not understand the female mind in regards to insecurities, low self esteem etc. But most women do not like to show their insecurities because it opens them up to hurt and manipulation. Its not just about trusting men, it's about competition between women. So what do they do? Pretend everything's ok, that life is a dream and that they aren't bothered in the least by the SC thing. I have met several females who do not hide their insecurities very well, despite their best efforts. On one hand, they'll slip up and whinge about their poor body image, jealousy or whatnot, yet I'll hear about how they got drunk and went to a SC with their SO. Yes they laugh and try and pretend what a hoot it was, but I can always detect a deep resentment in their voices. One girl in particular 'T' I knew well, she was best friends with a stripper 'C' whom I also got to know. T to be frank was unnatractive, on the heavy side, and about as insecure and bitchy as they come. She'd been bar manager at a well known SC here, and often told me she went along to SCs with C and a bunch of strippers for a laugh and for leisure. Yet it was plainly obvious that she was trying to bolster her own self esteem by associating with SCs and strippers. Well the silly cow learnt the hard way. Went along to the opening of Spearmint Rhino in Melbourne, had her drink spiked with some date rape drug and was sick for days. Serves her right.

 

orry but your recent post was more of a bashing than anything that contained intelligence in regards to SC and relationships. Honestly I don't think you are capable of opening your mind enough with this subject to even get anywhere with you. Keep laying the hammer down and just notice how you will lose your SO over things like this. You sound like a mother to her son, telling him what he can and can't do.

 

Right, I'm an unintelligent feminist who can't communicate. You Sir, are a very poor judge of character.

 

Please don't confuse my stating the harsh reality for some as bashing. What, do you find what i've said to be so shocking and politically incorrect that you have to point the finger at me and basically yell "TROLL!!"?

 

Right there tells the story. The problem lays with YOU. Not your SO. This is something YOU need to fix within' yourself and it if you don't you will eventually drive your SO away. You can't expect anyone to shoulder the burdens of your insecurities and lack of trust. Whatever caused those is something you need to deal with, with a counselor. You can't expect people to conform to your standards of living.

 

A relationship is about growing with the other person, as Sevenmack stated. This does not occur when one person blatantly acts in a way that causes the other ongoing psychological/emotional pain, even if this pain does stem from the other person's insecurities. Nor should they shoulder the burden as you put it. If they both want to grow, then there has to be some give-and-take.

 

This really does show how insecure and immature you are. When you start to directly insult like this, it shows you really don't have good substance to your views.

 

Back at ya, darlin'. If I were these things, then I'd have posted my email address, my phone number and demanded your wife contact me pronto for the flaming of her life, or else.

 

I have no substance to my views, do I?? I have no SUBSTANCE to MY goddamn views?!?! For crying out loud!! I am a living, breathing person who's life has been incredibly f**ked up by insecurities and the disregard of these by others. Perhaps its easy for you to sit there behind your computer, subservient wife on one side, strip club waiting down the road, and pretend that my problems are not real. You should follow me round for a day and see how much substance my views actually have. Lets see...in the morning I could show you the scars up and down my arms from cutting the night my ex went to a bachelor party. Then in the afternoon we could go out somewhere and you could watch me having panic attacks from being looked at critically by guys/girls, then at night you could watch me sit and try and fight off my sadness for 8 or so hours by doing something that's probably killing me. I'm not trying to get your sympathy by telling sob stories, but I just wish you could understand how actions you regard as harmless can seriously affect some people, even if we are in the minority.

 

Quite frankly, yes. You have a one-sided view. For you it's either black or white with no gray in between

 

Grey areas are dangerous areas. Lines get blurred, and when you're wandering around in the grey mist especially with something like 'cheating' then it's basically asking for trouble. Yes, I'm the first to admit that i'm a very black-and-white person, but is that really such a crime? I am this way not because I'm closed-minded, or unwilling to communicate, but because I have a strong personality, a damn good grasp of how my mind works, and a pretty clear idea of what I want and what I do not want out of life. SO SUE ME.

 

Insecure - Jealously, upsetment, resentment that he would look her way.

 

Unsecure - Puts a smile on your face because even though this chick might be hot, you are the one he is with and to know that just looking at someone is really nothing but eye-candy. What he has with you is 'substance'.

 

A little too much substance for his liking apparently, specifically in my waist, thigh and bum region. Which is why he's compelled to look at the other chick.

 

I honestly think the women that have problems with SCs have either on going problems in their relationship, insecure or have trust issues. That and your imagination has run wild in terms of what goes on in these places.

 

I'm not saying that a standard visit to a SC will result in hours of sinful lust and betrayal. In fact I know that's not what goes on (a buck's night is a different thing altogether but I'll leave that one alone for now). However what goes on in these places during a 'normal' visit is still crossing the line IMO. My imagination does not need to 'run wild', I can go to any SC website and get a good idea of what goes on without having to resort to my wild imagination.

[Wantingtogetitright]

you and I are so on the same page, I read your posts and think yup that's what I would have said. The only difference is that it wasn't because of my insecurities that I didn't want my SO other to go, I stated early in the first post that I trust him, I know he loves me etc etc, it was that I didn't want him associated with that kind of thing and knowing the captain was a sleaze bag I was concerned that he would be the one buying a "private" dance etc and egging on the girls, you know the sort of sleaze bag thing. My man would probably be propped up at the bar away from the stage etc etc but still by being the associated with it all was condoning the actions etc etc. I also firlmly believe it is wrong for someone in a committed relationship to be seeing all of the "wares" so to speak of other women.

 

Yes you can see boobies on a beach etc etc but iy is not the sole purpose of them being there, you pay money to walk into a SC and that is what you are paying to see.

 

I was not insecure about him looking at a stripper and then thinking oh she is hot I gotta have her etc etc and he was going to "cheat", it was the mere thought of him in a room with pussy and tits being flaunted around that made me ill. He is better than that and he knows it.

 

Anywhoo he sees it differently now due to our communication and in a way I am glad he went as his being there made him see it for what it was through my eyes.

 

The thing that gets me the most is the dishonesty of some of the male posters on here trying to justify their actions. There's nothing wrong with it, it's harmless fun, just cos I go to a SC doesn't mean I am going to cheat, the food is great, puleassssssssse!!! Just be up front and honest and say you enjoy going to places such as this, you like to be teased by women getting their kit off, you enjoy a lap dance or whatever and give the women the option then of deciding on if they wish to stay with such a person. But quit with the pathetic, it's just a bloke thing, tradition, rite of passage etc etc crap.

[Topper]

I think many of the ladies here would agree we should just do like the Arabs do and have all woman covered from head to toe. Heaven forbid that a man might see something and get aroused.

[Wantingtogetitright]

and your user name may be more appropriate.

 

What a ridiculous post! Not even sure why I am responding except to say you simply don't get it do you.

 

Also that if you really understand the culture of the women who wear the full coverage like the Arabs do you would know that behind closed doors these women are often more liberated than some so called western civilised women etc.

 

The crux of all of the issues in this thread is that sex and intimacy and showing off your bits etc is between 2 committed people, not for others to look at or show to others or take enjoyment of outside of that relationship on any level.

 

So despite your post attempting to be pooh poohing the ideas women have here you have backed up the arguments! Goodonya!!

[jmargel]

Well the silly cow learnt the hard way. Went along to the opening of Spearmint Rhino in Melbourne, had her drink spiked with some date rape drug and was sick for days. Serves her right.

 

Wow.. so it serves her right that some guy drugged and raped her because she hung out at a SC?

 

You simply do not understand the female mind in regards to insecurities, low self esteem etc. But most women do not like to show their insecurities because it opens them up to hurt and manipulation

 

I believe you are talking about yourself here. This why you are acting this way.

 

This does not occur when one person blatantly acts in a way that causes the other ongoing psychological/emotional pain, even if this pain does stem from the other person's insecurities. Nor should they shoulder the burden as you put it. If they both want to grow, then there has to be some give-and-take.

 

I agree but the more important thing is, what are you doing for yourself Are you getting the counseling you need? Are you getting the medication that you might need to allivate the destructive behavior that you are doing to yoruself?

 

have no substance to my views, do I?? I have no SUBSTANCE to MY goddamn views?!?! For crying out loud!! I am a living, breathing person who's life has been incredibly f**ked up by insecurities and the disregard of these by others. Perhaps its easy for you to sit there behind your computer, subservient wife on one side, strip club waiting down the road, and pretend that my problems are not real. You should follow me round for a day and see how much substance my views actually have. Lets see...in the morning I could show you the scars up and down my arms from cutting the night my ex went to a bachelor party. Then in the afternoon we could go out somewhere and you could watch me having panic attacks from being looked at critically by guys/girls, then at night you could watch me sit and try and fight off my sadness for 8 or so hours by doing something that's probably killing me. I'm not trying to get your sympathy by telling sob stories, but I just wish you could understand how actions you regard as harmless can seriously affect some people, even if we are in the minority.

 

If you are cutting yourself or getting to the point of causing serious bodily harm then you need an intervention. I am not saying you are crazy but that you have a mental illness that needs to be treated. This is not normal for a person to go through this and there is no reason to be living in this kind of pain. There is help for this.

 

Grey areas are dangerous areas. Lines get blurred, and when you're wandering around in the grey mist especially with something like 'cheating' then it's basically asking for trouble. Yes, I'm the first to admit that i'm a very black-and-white person, but is that really such a crime? I am this way not because I'm closed-minded, or unwilling to communicate, but because I have a strong personality, a damn good grasp of how my mind works, and a pretty clear idea of what I want and what I do not want out of life. SO SUE ME.

 

Grey areas are not dangerous. It's all about perception. As for you having a strong personality, I would admit that you do. As for how your mind works? I disagree with you there. You are cutting yourself and going through deep depressions. You are going through mental torture which does not allow you to think with a clear mind.

 

A little too much substance for his liking apparently, specifically in my waist, thigh and bum region. Which is why he's compelled to look at the other chick

 

He looks at another woman because he is human. Just like you look at other men. There is a difference between looking and cheating. Looking at another woman is not because there are 'defects in you'. Seems like you are putting your own self-worth into all of this, which you should not be doing. If you base all his actions because what he thinks of you, then that will drive you insane.

 

IMO you need to relax, find a good counselor and find out exactly why you are doing the things you are doing. I feel this goes way beyond strip clubs here.

[jmargel]

I was not insecure about him looking at a stripper and then thinking oh she is hot I gotta have her etc etc and he was going to "cheat", it was the mere thought of him in a room with pussy and tits being flaunted around that made me ill. He is better than that and he knows it.

 

Hmm.. re-read what you wrote. You just contradicted yourself there.

 

The thing that gets me the most is the dishonesty of some of the male posters on here trying to justify their actions. There's nothing wrong with it, it's harmless fun, just cos I go to a SC doesn't mean I am going to cheat, the food is great, puleassssssssse!!! Just be up front and honest and say you enjoy going to places such as this, you like to be teased by women getting their kit off, you enjoy a lap dance or whatever and give the women the option then of deciding on if they wish to stay with such a person. But quit with the pathetic, it's just a bloke thing, tradition, rite of passage etc etc crap

 

Guys go to SCs for different reasons. Some to watch the girls dance, some to get their kicks, some to hang out with their friends. There is not just one reason why all of us go. Personally I like going to see the women dance, to me it's erotic. As for lapdances I could really careless about them. They don't do much for me. I find that there are plenty of other ways that women can be suductive and be erotic.

 

I also firlmly believe it is wrong for someone in a committed relationship to be seeing all of the "wares" so to speak of other women

 

Well jeez then you better poke out his eyes and do some brain-washing since I think this is the only way you would feel comfortable with a man. Honestly I feel for your guy. I just hope one day he grows a set and actually stops comforming to your insecurities. But, to each his own..

[a4a]

 

 

 

Well jeez then you better poke out his eyes and do some brain-washing since I think this is the only way you would feel comfortable with a man. Honestly I feel for your guy. I just hope one day he grows a set and actually stops comforming to your insecurities. But, to each his own..

 

 

Not all men want to go to SC. Some see it as pathetic. To have to pay to look at a naked chick...... pathetic. I think it is hilarious to see guys in a trance handing over cash..... funny as all hell. I did work in one of these places behind the bar. I can tell you the Dancers are laughing their asses off too.

 

I don't know JM it almost seems as though you protest a bit too much and are really taking this whole SC thing a little too serious? Maybe you are just trying to validate your actions?

 

I do know a woman that doesn't care if her H hangs out at clubs.... then again she doesn't care if her H drops dead either. She probably wants him to go so she doesn't have to have sex with him. He pays for "side orders".