Married Men in Strip Clubs

[Guest]

I am confused with what all the fuss is about...I send my hubby to strip clubs at least once a month...he comes back randy as hell and takes it out on me all night...I try to make sure though it is not on an evening when I have a tough schedule at work the next day...I am always exhausted and sore afterwards...Men will always be pigs...it is just a matter of harnessing their piggishness to our own advantage...

 

 

 

thanks but no thanks! I will take my man as a MAN! one who loves, adores,cares for and respects me, my heart, my feelings and OUR R over a "pig" any day!

[Sevenmack]

Exactly 1dead. And for the men who go, it isn't about finding another spouse or even sleeping around; there are cheaper ways to find another woman, including looking around in one's workplace or the local 'meet market.' Men spend lots of their time thinking about other women; a stripper helps visualize all that. And when it's over, the men go to their wives and get it on.

 

Save for the rare stalker type, most men don't want a relationship or sex with a stripper. Most men are 'squares' who can't handle the kind of work strippers do anyway. Besides, some strippers -- like some women on Loveshack -- have some real issues that make them unable to handle long-term relationships; most men have heard those stories from single friends who have dated strippers and thus, aren't interested.

[Guest]

Then there is control: Instead of dealing with your spouse as a human being with desires and needs, who occasionally enjoys looking at other women, you want to basically program him to look at you and you alone. That's not even close to reality. Women are women and men are men; the latter crave looking at the flesh while the former generally crave security; a stripper is an alleged threat to the security and wellbeing of the former in their mind.

 

.

 

So, men who are happy, content, satisfied and fulfulled with their partner and the R and don't go to SC --they aren't humans with needs.???

?? Yes they are, they just understand that the entitlement some men feel isn't about control but more about the lack thereof; their own self-control and they are content getting their needs filled at home with their partner.

 

As humans we can find and maintain self-control; seeking strippers isn't a human need! Self-control is a choice and you choose not to.

please stop trying to pawn male behaviour back onto human need..it isn't a need to see LIVE strippers juggling their T/A/P to be a satisfied man(maybe if you have no live R that you are involved in; I'll understand to that). if you need to see flesh, go to the beach, get a magazine, Victorias secret is full of "flesh"

SC is about the closest you can get to being with other naked women beside your partner without having contact--it lets you play "safely" as it may be and get your jolly's off.

 

I have trust, and strippers can never match me as a woman and a partner, but that does not mean I care to have my man ogling their T/A/P for a cheap thrill.....

I don't need to see other men, I don't need to entertain myself with their wares, I am satisfied with my man..

surely, it can be so difficult to find happiness and satisfaction with one woman. There are plenty of women walking around everyday, you mean finding them attractive, seeing them on billboards, magazines etc isn't enough?????

I am sooooo glad I dOn't have to deal with this in my R; that doesn't mean he hasn't been and gone in the past; just doesn't feel the want to do so now... I give him plenty of flesh and lovin'

[Guest]

Rainfall-

don't even think for a minute you don't mirror or speak the words and feelings of plenty of women and yes even men! KUDOS--you stand true to your self and your beliefs.

 

if there are men, women who are ok with SC and strippers, so be it..who the f**k cares;

 

we know what we have, we know our own self-worth, we have our own self-esteem and trust; what we don't have, need or want

is the need to gain the attention of men for our own self-worth, men who don't know the measure of self-control and the actual abiltiy to commit to their partner and know that we can and do have solid, loving, caring and repectful R without compromising the partner's heart and feelings in our R.

[lrae]

Not all women who don't want thier husbands in strip clubs are paranoid about thier relationship! Not that I am trying to pretend mine is perfect?! It's just that I can think of a lot of better things to do together and on our own. It's a free world and as long as stripping is around you have the right to partake in it. But, as a SO I have a right to say NO, I don't want our money or your energy being spent there.

 

I don't think things are all right when people use strippers to get turned on (even if they take it home to thier SO) or that its OK to debase yourself for money or self esteem. Call me naive but, I also feel that this industry takes advantage of unsure and emotionally vulnerable young women and by being at the club you indirectly contribute to that.

[DrPhilomena]

Why would I want some nasty chick to touch me? Why would I want her to touch me man. I don't need to try it to know it is not for me or my relationship. If I ever feel the need to bring a third party into my relationship that will be the day I end it.

 

The only person I have any desire to be touched in sexual way by is my boyfriend and he better treat me with the same respect or we will no longer be together

 

what is with the hostility? You are a very angry person it seems...

 

Life is supposed to be fun and full of pleasure...why does that have to include jealousy and possessiveness? Open you eyes and open you heart...there is so much out there in the world just waiting to be discovered...I mean how do you know if it is good or bad if you have not tried it? Did some book tell you?

You need some professional help, rainfall. I think you should seek immediate attention/treatment from a relationship therapist.

[rainfall]

rainfall said: I am nothing like a stripper. I respect myself. I am not a worthless human being like they are.

 

Apparently you don't know any strippers. They are like most people: Some sweet, some wonderful, some awful as human beings, some in between. The fact that they are strippers does not, as you think, make them "worthless human beings." And actually, one can say, based on your statement, that you're actually talking about yourself. After all, it takes one to know one.

 

To me a sweet person does not rub her naked body all over a taken man. She knows there is a chance it will ruin the relationship but she does not care. Yes the man is at fault as well if his partner has a problem with SC.

 

I don't really care to know any strippers. The one i knew was a skank. She told me and my friend she slept with at least 2-3 different guys a week that she knew from the club.

 

Why exactly should I get relationship help? Just because I have a different idea of what cheating is then you? That is sad. I personally think lap dances are cheating and if some professinal told me it was ok I would laugh in his face and tell him to give me my money back.

 

My relationship should be between me and my man ONLY. If he has to bring a third party into it (meaning a stripper) then he does not love me and I will have nothing more to do with him.

 

jmargel>>That is fine if you do not agree with my opinon on strippers. I sure do not agree with yours. However I am have every right to think the way I do about them. Just because it is OK for you to go to SC and get lap dances does not make me wrong for thinking how I do.

[Topper]

rainfall Your making up stories again.

[AnneB49]

My relationship should be between me and my man ONLY. If he has to bring a third party into it (meaning a stripper) then he does not love me and I will have nothing more to do with him.

 

If you relationship is so private and controlled...why do you have the right to rant about it in postings here on the LoveShack...what would your H say if he knew about this?

[Rhyla]

First, there is the misplaced fears underlying the arguments by those opposed to strip clubs that their spouses will stray. Again, the problem ultimately isn't the stripper or the lapdance, but within the marriage itself. If the communication is weak in the marriage and you're not willing to trust or grow with your significant other, banning them from the stripclub or the nightclub won't do a thing to improve the relationship.

 

Which goes to trust. Be honest: You don't trust your spouse. On that score, you need to figure out if the problem is some behavior or action the spouse did that caused you to lose trust in him (or her). Or is it something within you, a problem with trusting people with which you must deal. If you don't resolve that problem, a stripper won't even be close to a major problem.

 

Then there is control: Instead of dealing with your spouse as a human being with desires and needs, who occasionally enjoys looking at other women, you want to basically program him to look at you and you alone. That's not even close to reality. Women are women and men are men; the latter crave looking at the flesh while the former generally crave security; a stripper is an alleged threat to the security and wellbeing of the former in their mind.

 

This also explains the reason why many women hate strippers: They think instinctively, based on centuries of programming, that any other woman who shows their wares to their men is attempting to take their property i.e. their men. But that instinct backs to the days when the only source of wealth for women were their men. In this day in age, with working women of all kinds -- including strippers -- earning their own keep, this is a silly notion. The stripper doesn't want your man, just their money. And that's respectable: We pay athletes for displaying their physical prowess.

 

 

First, I do not have a problem with stripclubs because I'm afraid my man will stray. I know damn well he isn't going to sleep with the strippers. I have a problem with it because it crosses a boundary. It is a live person being used for sexual purposes. Especially when it comes to lap dances, its a naked person grinding on them.

 

My partner and I have a guideline that works very well for the BOTH of us and that we are BOTH happy with "Don't do something with another man/woman thatn you wouldnt want another woman/man doing with me."

 

Second, I do trust my partner. I trust that he is not going to cheat. I also trust that he will not betray my trust and go behind my back and lie about things that we have agreed upon. Some people have differnet boundaries, that does not mean they have trust issues. Otherwise someone in an open relationship would have just as much right to say "you are controlling and do not trust your partner because you wont let them sleep with other people." Its all about what each couple is comfortable with.

 

Third, I recognize my partner has needs. However, stripclubs and lap dances are not needs. He can gratify those needs without bringing another live person into it. We've agreed that our sexuality stays between us, fantasizing and what not is natural, but no live people - that includes strippers. To say that it's ok because it's a paid for service they are providing would be the same as saying that prostitues are ok because it is a paid for service they are providing. We simply don't go there.

[Daddieslittlegirl]

Honey strip clubs are just fanticy, let him go and get his jollies, then when he comes home watch out.

[Sevenmack]

And if not going to strip clubs works for him, that's great. But that's not everyone. The boundaries set in a relationship must be reasonable for both sides; just because you have a discomfort with something doesn't mean it's a real issue. There are some habits my little lady embraces that I don't always like, but that doesn't make them real issues. They are a part of her as my habits are part of me. And we're supposed to love all of each other.

 

If your man's not going because he's walking you like he's walking on eggshells, then he's not doing this out of love, but out of fear. And fear won't keep anyone from doing anything for long.

[rainfall]

rainfall Your making up stories again.

 

Think whatevr you want. I am not worried about if you believe me or not. I just know that I am good enough to my man that he doesn't need to go to a strip club.

Question for the women OK with lap dances.... Would you be OK if you came home one day and a naked stranger was giving your man a lap dance? I mean its the exact same as a strip club..... So would that be ok in your relationship?

[MrsHellFire]

Eating lunch at a strip joint is not my cup of tea, but for some people, it's no different than eating lunch at McDonalds.

 

HAHA. That sounded pretty funny to me. I don't know if it's true, but maybe if a strip club is the nearest eatery?? lol

[Carbine]

and why should you share your slut with another slut...because that if how we all have fun...I would be more than happy to send my H over to dip into your fountain...you would have to send a photo first to see if he would be interested...but it is OK by me

 

Sorry. My fountain doesn't cater to clients from the lower rungs of society. I'm afraid your husband would pollute my water.

 

However, the Fountain of Youth is just round the corner. Perhaps they'd be much better equipped to accommodate your needs. I suggest that you take series of freezing cold dips in there, you insipid old battleaxe, before you delude yourself any further.

 

To everyone else: Sorry guys, I honestly do apologise for the obvious mud-slinging going on above. However, I simply refuse to be wrongly accused and further insulted like this.

 

She's the one sharing her man with several other women - yet she accuses me of being a 'slut'?!?! That's just a little bit rich...

[Carbine]

I am not attacking you but trying to help you.

 

Understand this: I do NOT WANT HELP from YOU - someone who advises me to let my man CHEAT ON ME. What's more I DON'T NEED HELP. I severely resent you making me out to be some crackpot unable to keep up with a serious and rational debate.

 

You and rainfall also talk about strippers being nasty.. They aren't.. They are just regular people like us.

 

Haha right. First of all you accuse me of being mentally abnormal, then suddenly I'm a "regular" person "like us". Make up your mind. Yes, I am a regular person: I study, I work, I hang out with my friends. People appreciate me for my honesty and for my intellect. I work an unglamorous job, using whatever basic learned skills I have to pay my bills. I respect the privacy and other rights of the people I deal with in my job.

 

I do NOT cheat with people on their partners, so that I can get rich. I do NOT get the luxury of having money, respect and adoration thrown at me simply because of my superior looks. I do NOT get to be able to walk around town smirking at other women thinking 'I'm much better than her because I have a smaller ass/bigger tits/better figure".

 

Very interesting thread. Everyone to her own. I may be too liberal, but my Shrekky can wet his appetite where ever he wants, as long as he eats at home.

 

Your Shrekky apparently prefers fish for his appetiser, before coming home for to main course.

 

Apparently you don't know any strippers. They are like most people: Some sweet, some wonderful, some awful as human beings, some in between.

 

Wow, you seem to know an awful lot of strippers to be able to make that call. Maybe you should broaden your friendship circle a bit more...

 

Wake up, sevenmack. Your opinion of strippers is tainted by the way they look and act, and is positively correlated with the degree of sexual attraction you feel towards them. Additionally, the sweet, wonderful ones are that way because they know they're better looking and therefore more priveleged than most women. The awful ones are probably like that because they're not getting as many $20 dollar notes shoved in their g-strings than the better looking strippers.

[Ladyjane14]

Sorry. My fountain doesn't cater to clients from the lower rungs of society. I'm afraid your husband would pollute my water.

 

However, the Fountain of Youth is just round the corner. Perhaps they'd be much better equipped to accommodate your needs. I suggest that you take series of freezing cold dips in there, you insipid old battleaxe, before you delude yourself any further.

 

To everyone else: Sorry guys, I honestly do apologise for the obvious mud-slinging going on above. However, I simply refuse to be wrongly accused and further insulted like this.

 

She's the one sharing her man with several other women - yet she accuses me of being a 'slut'?!?! That's just a little bit rich...

 

Carbine... sweetie. :bunny:

 

There's been a noticeable influx of "New Members" over the last day or two. Try not to let them yank your chain. I suspect most of them are either trolls or shills. It's not worth getting upset about.

[Carbine]

Well I AM upset. I resent being accused of being something that I am not, in any way shape or form. I have a ****load of faults, yes, I'm bad-tempered, stubborn and argumentative but believe me, the only person I ever spread my legs for was my ex. FFS, at least I have enough self-respect to insist that my partner remains 100% faithful to me.

 

The utter gall and hypocrisy of this woman leaves my mouth hanging open. She can't answer me in an articulate or intelligent manner, so she resorts to what she believes to be a bunch of witty insults, (poorly) disguised behind a holier-than-thou facade. Although I'm hardly Miss Politically Correct, at least i make my insults in general on LS, and not towards a specific person. I take this thread very seriously. Troll or no troll, I'm getting sick of trying to reason with morons who prefer to cower in the puritanical flowerbed of safety and point the finger at me, rather than to have the guts to say what they really feel.

 

Screw this, I have to get up for work in a couple of hours and I'm just wasting my time here smashing my head against the proverbial brick wall.

[sb129]

Carbine! How you doing chick?

[lindya]

you insipid old battleaxe

 

Beautiful! Not to take any sides in this particular dispute, but I do appreciate a good turn of phrase.

[MrsHellFire]

Carbine you have some deep-seeded feelings and views against other women IN REAL LIFE! You are a misogynist. If you see so many women as enemies, I wonder how you are able to make friends of the female gender at all! I see all your posts on this forum and they just scream insecurity and VENOM. You are too controlling towards your partners and have absolutely no trust in relationships. You need to deal with some issues before you get into another relationship tormenting your next man (victim)!

[Salicious Crumb]

I am confused with what all the fuss is about...I send my hubby to strip clubs at least once a month...he comes back randy as hell and takes it out on me all night

 

And thats exactly what he is doing...taking it out on you. The fact he goes to strip clubs means thats the kind of woman he wants...he just uses you when he gets home. And you are happy with that?

If so, then thats wonderful for you.

 

Others prefer to have their spouses "randy" as hell because they spouses are attracted to them...not a stripper.

 

...I try to make sure though it is not on an evening when I have a tough schedule at work the next day...I am always exhausted and sore afterwards...Men will always be pigs.

 

Sorry to burst your bubble...if the only men you can seem to find are pigs...don't try to poison the minds of other women who actually find a decent man.

[Salicious Crumb]

you are a tough one...you will lose more than one man that way...they all "cheat" if looking at another woman is cheating

 

Uh..I think having a completely nude woman on top of a guy that is pretending like he is being f#cked by her just a little more than looking.

[Fiona]

...Sorry to burst your bubble...if the only men you can seem to find are pigs...don't try to poison the minds of other women who actually find a decent man.

Sorry, but isn't this about keeping your man? Some of us have already found him, just need help with the 'making him randy' part.

[Salicious Crumb]

Sorry, but isn't this about keeping your man? Some of us have already found him, just need help with the 'making him randy' part.

 

True....but if a man doesn't want to respect his woman and doesn't give 2 sh!its about her to not do anything that will make her uncomfortable..then he isn't a man worth keeping in the first place.

 

If that is how a man treats his woman, let the bar wh0res have him.