snow_flake Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months. It's a long-distance relationship. We've known each other for 5 years prior but didnt begin to date until just before his move. On his last visit, curioisty got the better of me and I looked through his text messages and found a suspicious number of texts to a girl he previously said he only talks to on occasion. Two messages ended with an "I miss you!" and one said "I was lying down and I thought of you." He swears that he didn't mean anything unfaithful by it and didn't realize such language would affect me as it did and promised to never do it again. I understand many commited people (esp. considering we're still in our 20's) feel the urge to flirt. But is this crossing a line just a bit too much? I feel completely betrayed but find myself still wanting to try and work through this. He seems completely willing to do what it takes to earn my trust back but now I can't shake the feeling that everything he says to me is a lie. I just don't know what to do! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Well, there is no real way of telling if he is cheating on you or not seeing as you two have a LDR. You don't trust him, so right now it's up to you if you're willing to try to let him show you he isn't cheating on you. How far away he is? If he's not too far, try to see him more often... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 im in a LDR to, and if i saw something like that i would freak out and think he was cheating.. but then again.. ive been cheated on before and freak out over everything.. saying something like that isnt something you just randomly say to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Spoonandfork22 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 i have been in this situation. i am still with my bf, but three months later still have an incredibly hard time wondering 'is our whole relationship built on lies? its amazing what one little thing you find out will do. the worst part is, the guy more than often dont see it as a big deal whatsoever. thats where you have to figure this out: did he blatantly hide this 'secret' relationship with me b.c. he didnt want me to find out, or is it really completely insignificant and I need to trust he has my best interest in mind. 120% harder said then done. for me, i take this day by day. my bf busted his butt regaining my trust, and every now and then he slips up. (not calling me back after a night at the bar, makes me wonder where he is that he cant call). these things are very compicated b.c., like i said, it makes your head question EVERYTHING and, eventually, at least it did for me, will start controlling your life. since you are in a long distance relationship it is even harder to 'check up on him' or really know what he is doing. do you know the person he is texting? have you heard of her before? guys are weird, sometimes they do things and really just dont understand why its a problem. in your case, i feel like your bf just was being innocent and talking to someone. sure, his words probably could have been more friend like, but it is now in your hands to express your feelings to him and take it from there. he has to prove to you that you can believe him again. tel him this is going to require a lot of patience on his part. i dont think you are being unreasonable, trust is one of the hardest things for people to gain back. its a long hard road. it can be broken very fast and requires a lot of soul searching if you are able to trust again and give that person a chance to make you very happy or maybe hurt you again in the future. keep us updated. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 see something like that is pretty hard to take...**HUGS**** Now it's up to you to decide of you want to work it out or NOT but keep in mind when you LOVE someone very much you HOPE or want to believe that they are faithful, honest, and would alway have good intention but the truth of the matter the answer is Right in front of you. IF you have to asked you already know the answer but don't like the end result. I have been in your shoes before.. I wish I just went with my gut feeling. It would saved me a lot of heartach and tears.. when you have a feeling that something is wrong most of the time that it is.. dont be Naive about it.... NEVER Doubt yourself Link to post Share on other sites
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