Trialbyfire Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Hey, we don't know if he's like that in real life! But.... the nice attitude certainly determines his mindset about how important his partner's happiness is to HIM. Once men realize that when they make US happy, they will be happy, too, they will go far. "I am not going to let her disrespect me! :mad:" is the first step to being disrespected by your spouse. It starts with small things and once the attitude leaks out, the relationship becomes a power struggle. "I will respect her and try to make her happy :)" is the step number 1, 2, 3... and 34 ... and 134 to being loved and respected. There is NOTHING in this life that you can build by being destructive. Nothing good... Absolutely RP. I sometimes think some men don't understand that many women take a more proactive approach to love. For example, you know intuitively when your man is needing something and you do it without fanfare because you enjoy making them happy. When it's facilitated in this manner, many men don't appreciate it because it's not made into a big deal and it becomes an expectation. While this isn't a bad thing if it's reciprocated, when it's not, it becomes a point of resentment. When explained, it's also not understood and a fight ensues. "What's the big deal?". Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Gunny is definitely correct that men need to do more than just take out the trash and help out with the kids. Real love requires putting in lots, sometimes putting in more than the woman you love is giving to you in return at that moment. But it also goes vice versa: She can't simply take her man's giving and patience for granted. She must also be willing to give lots, even if her man isn't giving as much back in return at the moment. And what I've seen in some tales of woe here on Loveshack that while the men give and give, the women figure that they don't have to do so. They're right, absolutely right and don't have to bend. That sort of obstinance will never work. Instead it will just drive your man to either neglect you emotionally or committ infidelity. Essentially he begins to leave the relationship in one form or another. And when people leave a relationship in their mind, the body isn't too far from going too. What is needed is communication from both sides, explaining what they need for the relationship to work and listening to the needs of the other. It's hard to do, but really simple. Sure men have to appeal to a woman's mind and emotional wellbeing. But she needs to appeal to his emotional and sexual wellbeing too. As Tan said, it goes both ways.There is an easier way to put this. Most would agree that marriage is 50/50. I subscribe to the mindset that marriage should always be 100/100!! Link to post Share on other sites
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