Not_That_Innocent Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Hate is such a strong word. I don't hate him, just starting to dislike some of his behaviors. Our relationship is platonic but every now and then we get together for sex. We are so good together in bed. Lately he has been very mean to me. One time I mentioned his ex and he got upset and hung up on me - didn't talk to me for days. Last night we were talking and he mentioned a woman he used to date and made the comment that their relationship was nothing serious. I asked if he's ever had anything serious and he got all upset, asking if I think his life is a joke or if I think he's not capable of having a serious relationship. I was just asking because he is a known player. Beside the fact that when I met him he had a live in girlfriend, which he referred to as just a roomate. Yeah right! I just don't understand why he's so angry all the time. He recently confided in me that he smokes pot and since his "roomate" kicked him out his marijuana consumption has increased. Do you think it's the pot that's making him so moody? Lately he has been asking me for $$, which I gave him to willingly. That has to stop though because I can't stand the way he treats me sometimes. Seems like he would be a little nicer to me considering how nice I am to him. As far as the $$ is concerned, I'm sure he's just using me and I'm too stupid to stop giving it to him. We were supposed to get together last night. He said he would call once he left the fellas house, which is by the way where he gets high. He never even called. I think he was still mad about the question I asked. I don't like the drug use either, but I'm trying not to judge him because he was honest enough to confide in me. We work together and he would be in big trouble if the job found out about the drugs. Our employer doesn't do random testing, but if he were to get hurt he would have to submit to a drug test immediately. I asked him what he would do if that happened and he pulled out a bottle of urine, which I'm assuming is clean. Gross, I know. I was shocked because he doesn't seem like the pot smoking type, but again I am trying not to judge him. I know this is rambling on and on and there is so much more I can add but I won't. Would love your advice and opinions. I think I know what you're going to say because I've said it to myself so many times - stay away from him because he's bad news. Have you ever been so hung up on sex with someone that you accepted their bad behaviors or let them take advantage of you? I really am smarter than the way I've been acting. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 You are not just hung up on the sex you are forming an emotional bond with him. Either tell he you want more in your relationship than just sex or cut him loose now before you get even more hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
nancyleeh Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Sounds to me like it isn't just about the great sex. You want a relationship with him and he isn't going to give that to you. Accept him as he is and if good sex now and then isn't enough and you can't deal with his terms then dump him and find a guy who wants a real relationship with you. And don't give him money. Gees, he's using you but of course you already know that. nancyleeh Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 I know it sounds that way, but I really don't want a relationship with him. Sure I want more time with him and more sex, but a relationship - no. I think it's more like what Yamaha said in that I am starting to form an emotional bond with him, which is typically what happens on the female side of a FWB relationship. I plan to just keep my distance from him for a while until I get to the point where I stop melting into goo when we talk or are together. I had the day off work yesterday and he didn't know it. He called me six or seven times asking where I was on my voicemail. I didn't take the calls. I really am going to try and stay away from him. He's definitely not someone I would want to be in a relationship with. I'm way too nice for him. I certainly appreciate your insight. Sometimes it's hard to see clearly when you're wrapped up in a situation. Link to post Share on other sites
nancyleeh Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 I wish you well with this and hope you don't get to emotionally involved because as you said you don't want a relationship and you wouldn't want to get hurt in all this. So maybe that's a key....if seeing him is beginning to hurt you or is making you uneasy, maybe you need to rethink seeing him. Keep strong. nancyleeh Link to post Share on other sites
Realness Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Um...he's USING you...you ever think about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted March 16, 2007 Author Share Posted March 16, 2007 Um...he's USING you...you ever think about that? Did you read the entire post? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 I like that you said your relationship was platonic and yet you have sex occassionally. Nice DONT GIVE HIM MONEY. Maybe if he was having some genuine money troubles, but to support someone's drug habit is ridiculous, and even more so if you aren't even in an exclusive relationship with them... he is not your responsibility. If you truly are in it for the sex then you shouldn't have the need to help him in such a way, let him find someone else to scam money out of. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Not_That_Innocent Posted March 17, 2007 Author Share Posted March 17, 2007 I think you guys would be proud of me. I haven't called him since Monday. I did send him a few text messages, but only because he text me first. He called last night at work (we work together but in different offices) and said something that really ticked me off, per usual. I was so mad that I deleted all his information from my cell phone. That way, I won't be tempted to call or text him. Lucky for me I never memorized his #. I'm feeling kind of lonely tonight, and I'm sure I would have called him if I still had his info. He has a huge ego, and the fact that I haven't called is getting to him. The first thing he said was "You haven't called me." Then, he asked if I would be able to make time for him this weekend while at the same time calling me babe and honey. I love the way he turns things around to make it seem like I'm the reason we haven't been able to get together. That game may have worked in the past, but not anymore! I told him sure, just let me know - only said that because I highly doubt he will call. He just said he would to keep me hanging on a string and secure his meal ticket. And if he does call, I'm not going to answer. Wish me luck that I stay strong! Thanks for your support! I will let you know what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 I think you guys would be proud of me. I haven't called him since Monday. I did send him a few text messages, but only because he text me first. He called last night at work (we work together but in different offices) and said something that really ticked me off, per usual. Good for you. Now try dumping him and progressing to full No Contact. Find someone who doesn't treat you like crap and sponge off you for money. Link to post Share on other sites
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