Salicious Crumb Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Ditto DDLegs on everything you have said!! Ego strokes are a part of a healthy, ongoing relationship while of course the relationship is still on the works...it's all about reassuring the person you are with that they mean the world to you Uh...not in this situation...she dumps this guy, he loves her, wants her back...so she decides to play head games with him and "test" him?? She should be bending over backwards to show HIM he means the world to her...not the other way around. She dumped him for no other reason than she wanted "away". This guy needs to tell her to ***** and fall back in it. Link to post Share on other sites
2ndIINone Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I'm torn... my 2cents.. I'll give her credit for admitting she made a mistake.... I'll give her credit for admitting she enjoyed the ego boost she got when he chased her. I'm sorry, but 90% of people do this... guys and gals... she shouldn't be crucified for admitting it.... as most women/guys would never admit to that. Were her actions wrong? Yes, she knows it and has admitted it. My only problem with this is... she was in the wrong... flat out. And is still in a way... 'testing' by NOT coming forthright and admitting to HIM that she was wrong and that she wants him back. She'll initiate conversation, keep it casual... obviously trying to feel him out, but she won't, and should swallow her pride and be straight up with him about her feelings. The fact that he is still accepting her contact is still... an ego boost for her. Doing it with dignity??? (as she put it) MissDump? Your ex deserves better then that. Link to post Share on other sites
thecount Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Everyone loves an ego boost. The person you "love" should be the one to make you feel that way. The OP's action though are atrocious here. Maturity is what comes into play here. This is where you seperate the men from the boys, and the women from the girls. If you make a mistake (which everyone is entitled too) as long as you admit your mistake and are sincerely sorry for it, and admit it to the one you hurt, not to starngers, but to the one you hurt. Then you have shown that you are in the right path for forgivness. You can't expect to hurt someone, call them, and expect them to take you back just because you called. Doesn't work that way. It didn't with me, and words also don't mean a damn thing. Actions! your actions will speak louder then you'll ever know. Missdumper, I'm not saying this to hurt you, but to try and help you a bit, it's time for you to be a woman about your situation. Put your ego aside, and show that man that you care and love him enough to do that. Don't grovel, no one respects that, but truley say I'm sorry, truley say I love you, and truley hold on to the person you care about the most. Give that a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I'm torn... my 2cents.. I'll give her credit for admitting she made a mistake.... I'll give her credit for admitting she enjoyed the ego boost she got when he chased her. I'm sorry, but 90% of people do this... guys and gals... she shouldn't be crucified for admitting it.... as most women/guys would never admit to that. She isn't being "crucified" for admitting it...she is being blasted for what she admitted to. MissDump? Your ex deserves better then that. Better than her you mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Everyone loves an ego boost. The person you "love" should be the one to make you feel that way. Most certainly...but not in this situation. It is her ex that deserves the ego boost...not someone playing head games with someone they dumped for no other reason than to get "away". It is this woman that needs to be bending over backwards for him...not the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Yes, I think if it makes you feel better to put the love out there without the need for it to be returned to you, I think it makes you look stronger and more confidant! SOmetimes it takes more than once though and time in between... MissDumper, why don't you put your love out there without the need for it to be returned to you? Link to post Share on other sites
MattNZ Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 I have read all these posts and found it very useful. Very briefly, my girlfriend wanted some space as she wsa not sure if she wanted such a serious relationship after 2 years together. She moved out and we decided to take it a step back and try and rekindle what was lost. It has been up and down and I have been struggling with not seeing her all the time like I used to. At first, I was upset and would whine and tell her I missed her so much. This would only make things worse as she sees the hurt she is putting you through and wants to run from it all. I have recently tried the NC but we're not too good at that as it is a small town and yesterday I bumped into her twice! (I also think that I was doing NC for all the wrong reasons - to make her see what she is missing.) Both times were fine, no talking about issues or feelings or the relationship. Just being me (I had been to the gym - something I didn;t do when we were living together). I think to make things work, or get a second chance whatever, it does make a lot of sense to just be the person your partner fell for in the first place. I know it is easier said than done but that is what I am trying. I have made the mistake of forcing issues when we meet and it has not been happy viewing! We might meet for a drink tonight and all I intend to do is talk about what I have been up to and how I am keeping myself busy with my soccer (again, didn't play much when we lived together) and gym and applying for a new job. I want to appear confident and not needy or clingy. I think that is a far more attractive prospect to a partner wanting to clear their head than meeting up with a needy begging upset moping partner. After typing this - hope it bloody works!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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