Not Good Enough for ANYONE?!

[lilmzhln18]

Does anybody else feel that you're not good enough for anybody?

 

That you suck at everything you do?

 

That you're hopeless, and you have nowhere to go?

 

That you would have to attempt suicide to get attention, and even then, everyone would just laugh it off?

 

Well if so, Join the Club!!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

For those who have already went through this stage in their lives and got themselves out of such situations, care to share?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

My Story in Bullet Points:

• I'm a "loner."
  
• Everyone "hates" me.
  
• I have no real "friends." // All my "friends" are fake.
  
• One "friend" said my classmate didn't like me, and wanted to kill me.
  
• Everyone says I'm "crazy," that I have mental issues.
  
• I have "problems" and they pretend not to know me.
  
• Quotes from my one of my "BEST FRIEND"s.
  - "You're freaking me out. Why are you doing that?" *I wasn't
  doing anything wrong. Just writing hard with a pen to cut out
  the paper...Does that make sense?
  - "Okayy..what the f**k, I just did that, why did you copy me?
  Okay..... I'm going to ignore you now."
  
• Whenever I have a random mood swing and I get bitchy-like, people think I need to go to the nurse or something.
  -> When somebody else has a bigger mood swing than me, they comfort him/her.
  *WTF!*
  
• Everyone thinks I have no "feelings."
  They crack jokes that hurt; They push me around; They can say shi* about me, but if I say **** to them, somebody comes to beat me up *O__O*

End of my rant.

=]

[Lights]

Get out of that environment ASAP. And get to psychotherapy as soon as you can.

 

No one deserves abuse.

[Motor35]

Oh my goodness! There has to be something you are good at! Are you artistic? Good with numbers? Like to read?

 

I am so bummed you feel this way about yourself. I have low self-esteem also. Might I kindly suggest you look into something you have always wanted to learn how to do? Maybe you've always wanted to play guitar. Or maybe you would like to paint. Perhaps you can take a class?

 

Are you close with your family? And your friends that are fake, what is their deal? Do they understand what you are going through? Can you tell them about your problems you are dealing with? Sometimes our sadness/problems/anxiety, etc. is SO obvious to ourselves, but completely unnoticeable to others. There isn't anyone you know that can help support you through this? One of the things that can help most is just some support from a great friend or family member.

 

Please don't think of suicide. It would devestate those that love you and it is not an answer.

 

Can you get into therapy? The suicide comment has me concerned. Do you feel as if you need to call a suicide hotline? Please tell me more. How old are you? What do you do? School? Work?

[lilmzhln18]

Get out of that environment ASAP. And get to psychotherapy as soon as you can.

 

No one deserves abuse.

 

Hm.. Did I mention how they(the school) are(is) forcing me to see a pyschiatrist?

 

Seriously, it doesn't work.

It makes me really pissed.

They force information out of you.

What I mean is that they make you change your mind so that the answer you produce is the answer that they want you to give, so that they can put you on medication, and to get more money out of you.

 

I'm not depressed per se.

I'm just a little disoriented.

 

Besides, I have nothing to talk about to them.

I'd rather get advice on it, and to deal with it myself.

I guess I'm just a wee bit hard on myself.

 

=]

[luvtoto]

Does anybody else feel that you're not good enough for anybody?

 

That you suck at everything you do?

 

That you're hopeless, and you have nowhere to go?

 

That you would have to attempt suicide to get attention, and even then, everyone would just laugh it off?

 

Well if so, Join the Club!!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

For those who have already went through this stage in their lives and got themselves out of such situations, care to share?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

My Story in Bullet Points:

• I'm a "loner."
  
• Everyone "hates" me.
  
• I have no real "friends." // All my "friends" are fake.
  
• One "friend" said my classmate didn't like me, and wanted to kill me.
  
• Everyone says I'm "crazy," that I have mental issues.
  
• I have "problems" and they pretend not to know me.
  
• Quotes from my one of my "BEST FRIEND"s.
  - "You're freaking me out. Why are you doing that?" *I wasn't
  doing anything wrong. Just writing hard with a pen to cut out
  the paper...Does that make sense?
  - "Okayy..what the f**k, I just did that, why did you copy me?
  Okay..... I'm going to ignore you now."
  
• Whenever I have a random mood swing and I get bitchy-like, people think I need to go to the nurse or something.
  -> When somebody else has a bigger mood swing than me, they comfort him/her.
  *WTF!*
  
• Everyone thinks I have no "feelings."
  They crack jokes that hurt; They push me around; They can say shi* about me, but if I say **** to them, somebody comes to beat me up *O__O*

End of my rant.

=]

Maybe you would benefit from talking to a good behavioral therapist, so that you might get some insight into the reasons why you act the way you do, and why it's pushing your friends away.

 

Also, you will learn skills to cope better when things get tough.

 

The first step does start with having a positive attitude. Even if you have to fake it, till you make it.

[lilmzhln18]

Oh my goodness! There has to be something you are good at! Are you artistic? Good with numbers? Like to read?

 

I am so bummed you feel this way about yourself. I have low self-esteem also. Might I kindly suggest you look into something you have always wanted to learn how to do? Maybe you've always wanted to play guitar. Or maybe you would like to paint. Perhaps you can take a class?

 

Are you close with your family? And your friends that are fake, what is their deal? Do they understand what you are going through? Can you tell them about your problems you are dealing with? Sometimes our sadness/problems/anxiety, etc. is SO obvious to ourselves, but completely unnoticeable to others. There isn't anyone you know that can help support you through this? One of the things that can help most is just some support from a great friend or family member.

 

Please don't think of suicide. It would devestate those that love you and it is not an answer.

 

Can you get into therapy? The suicide comment has me concerned. Do you feel as if you need to call a suicide hotline? Please tell me more. How old are you? What do you do? School? Work?

 

 

That's the thing; I don't know what I'm good at.

 

As for looking into something I really like; gymnastics is out of the question. Something else? Piano. My mom's working that out as we speak.

 

Very close to my family.

Don't know about those fake friends.. They're just so...mean to me.

 

I tell my sister all my problems, or I keep them to myself. I don't like sharing problems with others. They shoot me down most of the time.

 

They notice all right. The just don't give a d**n.

 

As for suicide.

I doubt that anybody would care. (if not all, at least most.)

 

Therapy? I hate therapy.

 

What I can tell you is that I'm not going to commit suicide.

What's the use?

People would be GLAD if I suceeded.

I'm right here right now to make their lives miserable, not make mine miserable. (even though I'm not doing anything. by being here, it makes them frustrated....o_O)

 

I'm still in high school. Why throw away my life?

That's why I'm not even going to consider it.

Too much happiness would go around if I do.

 

=]

 

P.S. Wow, the story of my life is very depressing.

P.P.S. By the way, I don't dwell on this issue for too long. It's just a spur of the moment.

I just want feedback on how to make my life easier. I'm not depressed; just disoriented at times. Usually, I'm hyper... even if nobody aknowledges me.

[lilmzhln18]

Maybe you would benefit from talking to a good behavioral therapist, so that you might get some insight into the reasons why you act the way you do, and why it's pushing your friends away.

 

Also, you will learn skills to cope better when things get tough.

 

The first step does start with having a positive attitude. Even if you have to fake it, till you make it.

 

Maybe, but I rather not do that. I don't like talking to people of that sort.

Sorry if that sounded mean in any way.

I just don't think they help me.

 

I learn from my own mistakes.

It's easier the way I cope with it.

 

How I act?

I don't think it has anything to do with that.

They just...don't like me..

I mean, some people act the same way I do, but in a greater degree, and they still manage to have friends.

 

Pushing my friends away?

My attitude is driving them away.

They are just leaving.

They never really were my friends.

At least, they never viewed me as their friend. -___-

 

I'm coping really well actually.

It's not like I'm depressed, or that I'm crying all the time.

I'm quite happy actually.

It's just that I don't know why people are acting this way towards me.

 

This was just a "spur of the moment" thing.

 

 

Positive attitude?

One thing that I can't keep up with for very long.

 

I love that quote.

I should put it in my siggy. "Even if you have to fake it, till you make it."

 

 

=]

[luvtoto]

I just want feedback on how to make my life easier.

Coping skills, coping skills, coping skills. Stay positive!! Learn (with the help of a behavioral therapist) what sets you off. What's your trigger?

 

When you find out your triggers...then, learn skills that will help you rise above the problem.

 

Put a smile on your face, will ya??

[Pyro]

The purple peanut knows what she is talking about.

[lilmzhln18]

Coping skills, coping skills, coping skills. Stay positive!! Learn (with the help of a behavioral therapist) what sets you off. What's your trigger?

 

When you find out your triggers...then, learn skills that will help you rise above the problem.

 

Put a smile on your face, will ya??

 

Yeah, I'll try staying positive.

 

Don't think I'll be going to a behavioral therapist.

I guess I can figure it out by myself with help from my family.

They help me with these problems, so pretty much, I already have a "list" on what to improve/what triggers off my mood swings and the such.

 

Haha. I'm pretty sure there's already a smile on my face.

Doing much better now than I did before.

I'm improving already.

I don't dwell on things for too long anymore.

 

The purple peanut knows what she is talking about.

 

I whole-heartedly agree with you.

I think with the help of everyone here, my life will slowly become normal.

 

(I believe people here are helping me along way better than "professional pyschiatrists" are. At least that's what I tend to believe.)

 

=]

[luvtoto]

Maybe, but I rather not do that. I don't like talking to people of that sort.

Sorry if that sounded mean in any way.

I just don't think they help me.

No, it didn't sound mean. It is a normal response, I think. IMO, emotional therapy is not the road you should go down. Ya know, the sit for an hour and talk about how difficult your life has been so far. All that'll do is make you concentrate on your problems. Basically, finding excuses for the way you are feeling.

 

Behavioral therapy is concentrating on *just* the behavior, not the feelings.

 

How I act?

I don't think it has anything to do with that.

They just...don't like me..

So you are not going to take any responsibility here?

 

I'm coping really well actually.

It's not like I'm depressed, or that I'm crying all the time.

I'm quite happy actually.

Oh. I misunderstood.

[lilmzhln18]

No, it didn't sound mean. It is a normal response, I think. IMO, emotional therapy is not the road you should go down. Ya know, the sit for an hour and talk about how difficult your life has been so far. All that'll do is make you concentrate on your problems. Basically, finding excuses for the way you are feeling.

 

Behavioral therapy is concentrating on *just* the behavior, not the feelings.

 

Exactly what I believe. That kind of therapy just doesn't work. It makes you feel even worse, because you're "reliving everything all over again."

 

Maybe I should just tell the school to force me to go into behavioral therapy instead.

I doubt they'll listen though.

 

So you are not going to take any responsibility here?

I mean, it's not that I'm not trying to not take responsibility.

It's just that everytime I try to change myself and not act the way I do, they just push me even further away.

It's really complicated.

I just have this feeling that everyone hates me.

 

Oh. I misunderstood.

Don't blame you.

That's what it would sound like to anyone, right?

 

I think my actions/feelings contradict themselves way too much.

Too many mood swings going on.

 

=]

[ruby_gloom]

Yes.

 

That you suck at everything you do? Yes, I do.

 

That you're hopeless, and you have nowhere to go? Yes, I am.

 

That you would have to attempt suicide to get attention, and even then, everyone would just laugh it off? No. I think attempting suicide takes to much work. Plus, it could hurt (no thanks, physical pain).

 

I wouldn't do it for the above reasons or for trying to get attention. People already think that I suck, so if I bring their attention to me, then they'll really know that I suck.

 

Well if so, Join the Club!! Thanks.

 

Seriously, though.

 

Hmm.

 

Yea, okay I have nothing constructive to say.

[whichwayisup]

When and if you hit your rock bottom, then you'll be ready for behaviour therapy. Right now I can tell you aren't anywhere near ready because that means change, and changing is scary! I completely understand that too. BUT, if you want to feel better, become more confident and understand more about YOU, therapy will help you get there.

 

Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.

[lilmzhln18]

Yes.

 

That you suck at everything you do? Yes, I do.

 

That you're hopeless, and you have nowhere to go? Yes, I am.

 

That you would have to attempt suicide to get attention, and even then, everyone would just laugh it off? No. I think attempting suicide takes to much work. Plus, it could hurt (no thanks, physical pain).

 

I wouldn't do it for the above reasons or for trying to get attention. People already think that I suck, so if I bring their attention to me, then they'll really know that I suck.

 

Well if so, Join the Club!! Thanks.

 

Seriously, though.

 

Hmm.

 

Yea, okay I have nothing constructive to say.

 

Haha. Yes, Join the Club!

Yup.. suicide will do just that, which is exactly why I'm not even going to think about it.

 

That was basically a part of speech to describe how much everyone actually hates you..

I guess we're in the same boat.

 

 

When and if you hit your rock bottom, then you'll be ready for behaviour therapy. Right now I can tell you aren't anywhere near ready because that means change, and changing is scary! I completely understand that too. BUT, if you want to feel better, become more confident and understand more about YOU, therapy will help you get there.

 

Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.

 

Change is scary, but we do it all the time, don't we?

If not, then the world is perfect.

What fun is that?

 

I definitely need to be more confident..I definitely lack confidence.

Therapy? I'll stick to no help, only because I don't want to talk to those people... bad experiences with psychiatrists.. kinda ruins the mood for going through any therapy.

 

 

=]

[boshemia]

Does anybody else feel that you're not good enough for anybody?

 

That you suck at everything you do?

 

That you're hopeless, and you have nowhere to go?

 

That you would have to attempt suicide to get attention, and even then, everyone would just laugh it off?

 

Well if so, Join the Club!!

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

For those who have already went through this stage in their lives and got themselves out of such situations, care to share?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Simply put it's called High School... I hated High School, it was the worst five years of my life. It was so bad I dropped out not once but TWICE during my senior year(s)... The only reason I graduated is because my Grandmother would have been heartbroken if I didn't (and I think the school was terrified that I would come back)

 

Why is High School so difficult?

 

Because in High School you haven't yet developed a solid YOU yet. Don't feel bad because nobody else does either, it's something that develops with age and experience.

 

Some people just seem to have it together more than you do because all you have is your own frame of reference. Everyone else is struggling with their identity as well.

 

Wanna know how I can figure this out when I don't even know you? Simple...

 

"Everyone "hates" me.", "Everyone says I'm crazy", "Everyone thinks I have no feelings."

 

Everyone seems to have a lot of opinions about who and what YOU are don't they? So who are THEY and why do THEY care?

 

One "friend" said your classmates didn't like you, and wanted to kill you. They pretend not to know you. THEY feel that you have mental issues, You are freaking them out, you are copying them, that you should go to the nurse. They crack jokes about you, they talk sh** about you.

 

So they have a lot of opinions about you... But the only opinions you stated clearly about yourself are that You are a "loner." and All of your "friends" are fake.

 

_______________________________

 

It takes all of us some time to learn the delicate art of living. Defining yourself based on other peoples opinions of you will always doom you to failure. There is no way of getting another person to approve of you 100% of the time. And usually the harder you try the more they see right through you.

 

You can not change anyone else, not their opinions, not their thoughts, actions, attitutes, or beliefs... but you can change yours.

 

I'm older now, and I wouldn't go back through High School for anything. I've finally begun to develop my own self apart from everyone else. I think what I think and I don't feel the need to gain anyones approval. It's kind of a F it attitude, but with more compassion... I don't choose to hurt other people, I just choose to be myself.

 

I can see thet you hate therapy, and I agree with you. At your age I hated it too. I didn't really get the point. Now I am able to see more clearly where I do need to make changes in my life.

 

My first suggestion is to start making a list of the things you DO like about yourself. (Yeah, silly, but I had to do it as well) Find those things and concentrate on them. If you enjoy writing hard to cut out the paper (I remember doing that as well) then do it. As long as you know why you are doing it that's all that matters.

 

Go to http://www.coping.org and go through their self-esteem inventory then see what you think you might be able to work on... It's an awesome program.

 

Take control of your therapy, talk about what YOU need to talk about. Yes, they do try to get you to admit things, sometimes they are right and you are in denial... other times you just need to stand up for yourself and say NO, that is not me...

 

I guess my short answer is, take control of your life away from others and put it with yourself where it belongs... it is totally worth it : )

[lilmzhln18]

Simply put it's called High School... I hated High School, it was the worst five years of my life. It was so bad I dropped out not once but TWICE during my senior year(s)... The only reason I graduated is because my Grandmother would have been heartbroken if I didn't (and I think the school was terrified that I would come back)

 

Why is High School so difficult?

 

Because in High School you haven't yet developed a solid YOU yet. Don't feel bad because nobody else does either, it's something that develops with age and experience.

 

Some people just seem to have it together more than you do because all you have is your own frame of reference. Everyone else is struggling with their identity as well.

 

Wanna know how I can figure this out when I don't even know you? Simple...

 

 

 

Everyone seems to have a lot of opinions about who and what YOU are don't they? So who are THEY and why do THEY care?

 

One "friend" said your classmates didn't like you, and wanted to kill you. They pretend not to know you. THEY feel that you have mental issues, You are freaking them out, you are copying them, that you should go to the nurse. They crack jokes about you, they talk sh** about you.

 

So they have a lot of opinions about you... But the only opinions you stated clearly about yourself are that You are a "loner." and All of your "friends" are fake.

 

_______________________________

 

It takes all of us some time to learn the delicate art of living. Defining yourself based on other peoples opinions of you will always doom you to failure. There is no way of getting another person to approve of you 100% of the time. And usually the harder you try the more they see right through you.

 

You can not change anyone else, not their opinions, not their thoughts, actions, attitutes, or beliefs... but you can change yours.

 

I'm older now, and I wouldn't go back through High School for anything. I've finally begun to develop my own self apart from everyone else. I think what I think and I don't feel the need to gain anyones approval. It's kind of a F it attitude, but with more compassion... I don't choose to hurt other people, I just choose to be myself.

 

I can see thet you hate therapy, and I agree with you. At your age I hated it too. I didn't really get the point. Now I am able to see more clearly where I do need to make changes in my life.

 

My first suggestion is to start making a list of the things you DO like about yourself. (Yeah, silly, but I had to do it as well) Find those things and concentrate on them. If you enjoy writing hard to cut out the paper (I remember doing that as well) then do it. As long as you know why you are doing it that's all that matters.

 

Go to www.coping.org and go through their self-esteem inventory then see what you think you might be able to work on... It's an awesome program.

 

Take control of your therapy, talk about what YOU need to talk about. Yes, they do try to get you to admit things, sometimes they are right and you are in denial... other times you just need to stand up for yourself and say NO, that is not me...

 

I guess my short answer is, take control of your life away from others and put it with yourself where it belongs... it is totally worth it : )

 

Thanks! That made a lot of sense.

I can tell that you're one of the few who can "cope" with everything/understand the "meaning of life."

 

In any case, thanks for the site and your own experiences.

=]

[Mr. Lucky]

Just an observation, but you express yourself very well. Many high school students can't string two sentences together, but you have a clear, consise style that drew me in right away. Have you considered doing anything with what seems to me to be an obvious talent? Hard to believe that I'm the first one to notice, you must have had comments from teachers or others previously...

 

Mr. Lucky

[lilmzhln18]

Just an observation, but you express yourself very well. Many high school students can't string two sentences together, but you have a clear, consise style that drew me in right away. Have you considered doing anything with what seems to me to be an obvious talent? Hard to believe that I'm the first one to notice, you must have had comments from teachers or others previously...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

You say I express myself very well?

Well, I assume a "thanks" is in order.

From teachers, I have gotten no compliments.

As for fellow fanfiction writers, they have said I have "adequate" writing skills.

 

Thanks for the idea though. I would consider it. xP.

 

 

Hmm... What do people think about linguists?

 

=]

[johan]

My advice: get a book on self-hypnosis. As a teenager, you might not think this sounds crazy, but it's the greatest thing you could ever do. It's a great time to learn how to control your thinking so you don't get wound up like you are now.

 

For every negative thing you said above, turn it into the opposite positive statement, and when you're very relaxed and concentrating, say those things to yourself in your mind. Just say them, and don't think about anything else. After one time you'll feel like you're brand new and much of your anger/sadness/fear will go away.

 

Trust me on this. If you think it doesn't work, then consider the fact that these negative messages you're giving yourself are a form of hypnosis/suggestion already. People suggest things to themselves all the time. Consciously and unconsciously. If you think negative things, then you'll start to believe them. And you'll begin to think everyone else thinks those things about you as well. Then you'll feel like hell and get very agitated and/or depressed.

 

When you're lying in bed thinking these negative thoughts you're doing so in a state of relaxation when your mind is most open to suggestion. And so all you have to do is deliberately do the opposite. Whether you believe the things you say or not, you'll benefit from it.

[lilmzhln18]

Thank you Johan, for the advice. That helped. xP

Basically, what's pulling me down is my negative view on things.

These past days, however, I'm starting to become more positive in the things I do.

 

This site really helps!! xP.

 

If you think negative things, then you'll start to believe them.

Woah! That's the SECOND time I heard that statement today (via people from the internet, not the people I know personally.) xP

 

=]

[boshemia]

As for fellow fanfiction writers, they have said I have "adequate" writing skills.

 

It is one thing for peers to critique your writing, comment on punctuation or word choices. However I fail to see how telling someone their skills are adequate helps their craft in any way.

 

Writers as a whole tend to be very critical people, usually our harshest criticisms are reserved for ourselves, but we are prone to judge the writing skills of others just as harshly. Keep the good stuff, work on the bad stuff, and leave anything you can't use in the rejection pile : )

 

 

and still...

 

I note that you have very little to say about yourself that isn't filtered through what others say about you. When reading your posts I can't help but wonder if you have any connection to yourself aside from what others have given you.

[Teacher's Pet]

Hmm... What do people think about linguists?

 

=]

 

I've been told I'm quite the cunning linguist myself.

 

-tp

circle circle flick flick circle circle flick flick abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzalphabetagammadeltaepsilonzetaetathetaiotakappalambdamunuxiomicronphirhosigmatauupsilonphichipsiomega.

 

repeat.

[bridget_jones]

I've been told I'm quite the cunning linguist myself.

 

-tp

circle circle flick flick circle circle flick flick abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzalphabetagammadeltaepsilonzetaetathetaiotakappalambdamunuxiomicronphirhosigmatauupsilonphichipsiomega.

 

repeat.

 

 

You give such helpful advice! I'm impressed, and everyone just thought your oral sex reference was so clever and funny.

[Teacher's Pet]

You give such helpful advice! I'm impressed, and everyone just thought your oral sex reference was so clever and funny.

 

Wow, you follow me to another thread.

 

I *love* being chased by a woman.

 

But the answer is *still* no. Sorry.

 

-tp

let's 'em down easy