Kamille Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 I met this guy through a coworker of mine last week at a party. I kind of sensed he was interested in me and just thought that ah well, who knows. He asked if I had messenger before leaving and I gave him my address. In part because I just felt like I should give him a chance and also because my coworker (his best friend) and I spend a lot of time on msn. He got in touch with me on msn soon after the party and, two days ago, posted a picture of him and me as his picture. I thought that was weird but wondered if maybe he had posted it before chatting with me so i could see it. Today I asked my coworker if there were any pictures of the party and he said yes, get a facebook account and you can browse all the picture on my profile. So I get a facebook account to see that his friend, this guy, has the same picture of he and I on his facebook account. Like, what? Isn't that kind of creepy? Or is there a msn-facebook culture out there where you will just randomly post pictures of yourself with some random girl? Anyways, he comes on-line on msn and chats me up. I don't know what to say about the pictures, still unsure what they could mean, and he eventually tells me that 'he needs somebody to love'. Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh! I was ready to get to know this guy and give him a chance but now I am totally creeped out. Whatever happened to asking a girl out on a date before a) posting pictures of the two of you together as your default pictures and b) mentioning anything about love? What should I do? how do I handle this? I am more then a bit turned off but I really don't want to hurt his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
2ndIINone Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 plain and simple.... tell him. Also feel free to mention that you think it's a little weird. CAUSE IT IS!!! The last thing he'll want you think is that you feel he is weird or creepy. BTW... use the word 'weird' over creepy. You just met him, no date, no physical contact, not even a verbal talk over the phone... so he IS a little strange for posting the pic. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Well you aren't dating. You don't have to take him seriously. Just tell him he needs to take the pic down. He should be putting up pics of himself and his girlfriend. Not of himself and some complete stranger. Laugh at him for being such a dumbass (in a friendly way), like you would a friend. Tell him he doesn't even know if you're good in bed or how psycho you can be when you don't get your way. Link to post Share on other sites
tragicglands Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Well you aren't dating. You don't have to take him seriously. Just tell him he needs to take the pic down. He should be putting up pics of himself and his girlfriend. Not of himself and some complete stranger. Laugh at him for being such a dumbass (in a friendly way), like you would a friend. That's brilliant! And practical! I agree! Tell him he doesn't even know if you're good in bed or how psycho you can be when you don't get your way. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 EWWWWWW I'm creeped out now. Definately make a joke of it because if you don't, he could pull a single white female or fatal attraction on ya! Then, once he takes down those pictures, just let him know that you JUST got out of a serious relationship and aren't ready to be dating yet. Short, sweet and to the point. You don't "owe" this guy anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Hitman10000 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Everytime I hear a guy complain about how girls play games and stuff. Well I always have to tell them "Well dude, wouldn't you want to be sure who you're sleeping with if you got some guy who weighs more than you sticking something inside of you?" And the guy would go Ohhhh. This is also another reason..weeding out weirdos who would have a better chance paying some prostitute for sex cause that's the best they can do. So to end it off, I think you...Lady know exactly what to do. Thanks for posting your horror story up. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast777 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 O.K. you just hit what my second friend calls a "desprate date". This in a sense is a comploment b/c he thinks your hot and wants you as a trophy girlfriend. My advice, sit him down tell him you never dated him ask him to take the picture down and what not. If it gets out of control like you have to be his and no one elses 2 words "restraining order" Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Anyways, he comes on-line on msn and chats me up. I don't know what to say about the pictures, still unsure what they could mean, and he eventually tells me that 'he needs somebody to love'. Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh! I was ready to get to know this guy and give him a chance but now I am totally creeped out. Whatever happened to asking a girl out on a date before a) posting pictures of the two of you together as your default pictures and b) mentioning anything about love? What should I do? how do I handle this? I am more then a bit turned off but I really don't want to hurt his feelings. Already you're getting caught up in his web of need. You're fretting about how to avoid hurting his feelings, and the more you worry about that the more likely it is that you'll end up getting into unnecessarily lengthy communication with him. As long as you're having any communication with him, the chances are that he'll believe there's potential for the two of you to get together. Regardless of how clear you think you're being in the "not interested" messages. The problem with mentioning the facebook thing is that he might well clutch onto that episode as the only thing standing in the way of true, eternal love between the two of you. Best to make it clear that you're just not attracted to him. You could mention the facebook indiscretion as a "by the way" sort of thing, but make sure he's in no doubt that with or without the facebook picture episode you wouldn't be interested. And try not to worry about hurting his feelings. The lack of insight and social awareness he's demonstrated so far isn't suggestive of huge levels of sensitivity. Next week he'll probably be pasting someone else's picture on the "my imaginary girlfriend" slot. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Yeah guys can be creepy. I was at a little whole in the wall Indian restaurant and there was just me and some guy in there. He was wearing his napkin like a bib and it was a buffet, so I walk up and start putting stuff on my plate and he starts talking to me and to be polite I talk with him and then he starts imploring me to try certain things and puts food on my plate ( a bit invasive). Then I'm sitting there reading and eating and he gets up from his table and sits at mine. We have a pleasant conversation about this article he's working on about a playwrite and he writes his number in my book, saying we should get together to "talk about literature". He asks for my number and I tell him my phone is disconnected ( a lie), but I give him my e-mail. So far I've deleted two emails from him without reading them Link to post Share on other sites
VinaAmez Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 I met this guy through a coworker of mine last week at a party. I kind of sensed he was interested in me and just thought that ah well, who knows. He asked if I had messenger before leaving and I gave him my address. In part because I just felt like I should give him a chance and also because my coworker (his best friend) and I spend a lot of time on msn. He got in touch with me on msn soon after the party and, two days ago, posted a picture of him and me as his picture. I thought that was weird but wondered if maybe he had posted it before chatting with me so i could see it. Today I asked my coworker if there were any pictures of the party and he said yes, get a facebook account and you can browse all the picture on my profile. So I get a facebook account to see that his friend, this guy, has the same picture of he and I on his facebook account. Like, what? Isn't that kind of creepy? Or is there a msn-facebook culture out there where you will just randomly post pictures of yourself with some random girl? Anyways, he comes on-line on msn and chats me up. I don't know what to say about the pictures, still unsure what they could mean, and he eventually tells me that 'he needs somebody to love'. Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh! I was ready to get to know this guy and give him a chance but now I am totally creeped out. Whatever happened to asking a girl out on a date before a) posting pictures of the two of you together as your default pictures and b) mentioning anything about love? What should I do? how do I handle this? I am more then a bit turned off but I really don't want to hurt his feelings. Yikes! That's creepy. He shouldn't have posted a pic of you and him like that. If that was me I would make him take that down and would seriously lose the guy in a nice way. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Reply: The problem is? The fact that you didn't address this particular issue to him right away -and I mean right away, isn't comforting -nor is it good. Don't run around the bush -fire right away at the target, so to speak. No hurt feelings. Your went to this party, and people were taking pictures. You were aware of the conditions of this party, and what it meant to take pictures. Were you not? You shouldn't have included yourself in any picture taking if you felt that somehow they'd be solicited. Anyways, I think the only creepy part -and many many men out there make this mistake on Facebook, no biggie -is that he posted the picture without your approval/word. But, in light of the situation I don't think he intended to cause a crime scene. Just confront him about it -and keep it as a friendship. Unless of course you have the hots for him -if so, then continue to talk to him -maybe eventually he'll ask you out. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 Yeah guys can be creepy. I was at a little whole in the wall Indian restaurant and there was just me and some guy in there. He was wearing his napkin like a bib and it was a buffet, so I walk up and start putting stuff on my plate and he starts talking to me and to be polite I talk with him and then he starts imploring me to try certain things and puts food on my plate ( a bit invasive). Then I'm sitting there reading and eating and he gets up from his table and sits at mine. We have a pleasant conversation about this article he's working on about a playwrite and he writes his number in my book, saying we should get together to "talk about literature". He asks for my number and I tell him my phone is disconnected ( a lie), but I give him my e-mail. So far I've deleted two emails from him without reading them Ah yes. The trouble we get in because we want to be polite. He put stuff on your plate? That is invasive. Thanks for your advice. I realize my mistake was not addressing the picture issues as soon as I felt unconfortable with it. And Sand, while I agree about being aware that the pictures of the party would circulate on the web, and I wouldn't quarrel with him putting them in his 'picture book' section, I am unconfortable with the fact he uses them as his "Avatar' so to speak. I'm not sure that distinction was clear. So now things gets even more murky. My coworker - his friend, seems to be giving me the cold shoulder! I have yet to confront Mr Poster about the pictures, so I have no idea what my-coworker-friend is miffed about. Anyone think I could just cold-shoulder them both until this thing clears up? Link to post Share on other sites
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