future MIL wont let us grow up

[Guest]

Hello all,

 

Let me start off by saying that my future mother in law is one the most wonderful people I've ever met. Shes always willing to lend a hand and quite frankly, we have a great relationship. People always tell me how highly she speaks of me when they talk to her. The only problem I am having is that she is too motherly to me. Like I said, I am very appreciative for everything she does, but she acts as if im a teenager in many ways. I have been with her son for 6 years and we are having a big wedding in 5 months. He is almost 27, I am 25. When we got engaged a few years back, we mentioned to her that we were considering having a smaller wedding so we could have some money to use as a down payment on a home. That was when she threw out the idea that we would buy her home from her at what she owes so we could have a big wedding and invite everyone (i told you she was wonderful).

 

The only problem is that that was over 2 years ago and not much has changed. She is a single women (has been for almost 20 yrs since her divorse) and her life revolves around her son and daughter. Her daughter (who is 24) has since moved out so it is only my fiance, his mother and I living there. We are concerned that she would go into "shell shock" when she moved out on her own so we began doing our own grocery shopping and cooking our own dinners to get both us and her used to what it will be like on our own (this has been going on for over a year now).

 

Since she doesnt have to cook or clean after work anymore, she has picked up the habit of playing online games on the computer. She walks in the front door at 5:30 and is in the computer room until 11:30. She has absolutley no life and has not been out on a date for nearly 15 years. It is almost as if her closest friends are those in the chat rooms on the games she plays. She even talks to them on the phone and references them like the've been her friend since childhood. My fiance and I understand that she is enjoying herself but have mentioned several times that maybe she should go meet "real singles" in the area. She has agreed, but then again, we first had that talk over 6 months ago and nothing has been done.

 

To make a long story short, my fiance and I are and have been more than ready to be on our own. As much as we love her, we need to move on. We have already spent over 60k on our wedding (and are not done) so there really isnt to much funds for a down payment on another home (at the moment) if we even wanted to do it that way. We have since contacted a mortgage company, been approved and began the paperwork on her current house, but she insists on still paying the mortgage when it is in our name, and staying there. We have tried to give her subtle clues (in a nice way) that we want to be on our own, but she has overlooked them. I dont want to make it seem like we are kicking her out. I just didnt know that when she said buy my house it meant and Im going to stay. She had mentioned purchasing a townhouse at the time of the original talk, but hasnt really looked all that much. All I know is I will be a married woman in 5 months and wish to live alone with my husband where ever it maybe. My fiance and I both are already having a hard time accepting the fact that we stll live with her at our ages.