Why do I get annoyed with this...

[Guest]

Please tell me if I am being irrational or reasonable when it comes to feeling a little angry/jealous/annoyed with this topic... and sorry in advance for it's length!

 

My bf and I have been together for 3 months-- everything is going great we have a lot of fun, I feel very close to him already, we know a lot of intimate/personal issues about each other. We've had a few fights but they have been weak and easily resolved.

 

I am 20, he is 22. Being social of course is an important thing to both of us as we are young college students. My last relationship was EXTREMELY jealous/controlling on the guys part, which sabbotaged it. So I know what being jealous can do to a relationship and understand that having a life outside the relationship/hanging out with friends together is important.

 

SO-- the issue is... my boyfriend when we make plans, tends to constantly invite friends along last minute. Well, when they're home on break anyways. I recently had another thread similiar to this saying how he invited them to an apartment that is not his. I feel like a bitch when I get angry at him for inviting them along but I mean they are going to be home alllllll summer! And so why change plans with me, gr! So for example, this weekend we are goign to visit another couple that are away at college, and staying at their apartment. I found out that one of his other friends is going to visit too...I mean Im cool with it but sometimes I just get annoyed because since both of us still live with our parents, we hardly ever get alone time. And with me and the other friend sometimes one of us feels like a 3rd wheel. I hate getting excited thinking about having practically a whole night to ourselves and then finding out that we're not. Maybe it's because I feel like I don't get the same amount of attention/affection when they are around... or maybe it's because his friends are extremely immature and make him immature and they make fun of each other like 2 year olds and act stupid sometimes so I have something against them..I'm just not sure. but it bugs me.. is that wrong??

[norajane]

If you and your bf aren't getting enough time alone, I can see how it would bother you that he's always inviting other people along. I don't think it's out of line to want time alone with your bf.

 

Maybe you can talk to him, but don't ask him to stop inviting people. Tell him you'd like to spend more time alone with him, and ask if he can plan that with you...dates for just the two of you. Confine the issue to the two of you, because that's the real issue. I don't think you'd be jealous of his friends if you and your bf had plenty of alone time.

[Erik]

If your BF doesn't have great experience with girls, maybe he doesn't realise that friends and lovers should be kept at some distance of each other. He likes his friends, he likes you, he would doubly like if you all got along and had fun together. He want you to be both his GF and one of the boys. Start acting like one of them, be immature with them, play videogames or whatever, try to enjoy their company and have fun. Maybe he will take the hint. Else, you have to spell it out for him.