Guest Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Generally I look and behave older than my age (im 22). Over the last couple years I've been noticing that these women who are in their mid-late 20's/early 30's have been displaying signs of attraction, ranging from having the balls to ask me out to coffee, giving me their #, feeling me up (arm shoulder), complimenting me, or greeting me when they see me. And these women are either single or are already taken. But under the certain circumstance im not surprised because whether it's at work or my collegge courses are mostly with people older than me. Believe me there's nothing wrong with older women as i tend to get along with older people better, but for the most case im not attracted to them. Younger women have something im attracted to, yet lack the maturity, stability, confidence, and understanding that older women possess. I dont know, i wish i could find a woman that had a balance of the both - or maybe its just an internal conflict of my own i have to deal with. If anyone catches my drift that'd be great....cause i have no clue what kind of advice im looking for... So this basically falls back on my real age and my level of maturity (perceived age), and trying to find my place with women and among friends. Kind of like an Americanized asian guy trying to find his place in the white world with his asian roots/culture. Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 The only thing I can think of that younger girls have is young bodies but some older women are also hot. I would seriously give these older ladies some thought because some of them are worth it. I always fell in love with older women precisely because of the things you've mentioned. I was more mature than girls my age. I think it gets better when you hit 30 because then the girls have caught up with you maturity wise. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 The only thing I can think of that younger girls have is young bodies but some older women are also hot. I would seriously give these older ladies some thought because some of them are worth it. I always fell in love with older women precisely because of the things you've mentioned. I was more mature than girls my age. I think it gets better when you hit 30 because then the girls have caught up with you maturity wise. Yea younger women usually have younger bodies, and some older women are hot too - but not the ones around school/work. The way i see it, older women tend to see me more as an equal; and younger women will tend to look up to me as a leader. I have no quarrel with either i dont think. I think what's keeping me hanging at the moment is that older women are usually looking for a LTR (and marriage minded also), and i dont think i want part in that - not at this point in my life anyway. And to relate better, the majority of older women i meet, i can connect with them on an intellectual/mature level yet the ones i've met so far im not attracted to them physically. And as hard as it may seem, I have trouble meeting girls around or younger than my age. I tend to hang with the older crowd and most of my friends are in the mid-late 20's...and add the fact of my night college classes with work -not much young people there. You name it, i've been there. bars/pubs, gym, sports, even tried some volunteer work...no one around my age. As a final thought, i think it's more of a physical attraction im struggling here with women. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 If you are 22 and a woman of 30 hits on you, she probably just wants an affair. And many women of thirty looks gorgeous; you can't really see that because they dress more conservative than girls, so you automatically 'see' their bodies as older. I can't tell you what to do,but here's a crucial piece of strategic intelligence: Older women are MUCH better in bed than younger ones. Nuff' said. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 As a woman in my early thirties, I will say one thing. Don't go there unless you're emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship with one. She'll have far more expectations of you in some ways than the girls you're accustomed to. If the two of you are only looking for a good time, that's your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 All I can say is, my GF is 40, and has a body that most girls in their 20s would kill for. And some even try to kill themselves to get it. Then, of course, we can list them off. Salma Hayek. Jennifer Aniston. Sandra Bullock. Cate Blanchett. Monica Bellucci. All a year or two either side of 40. And all hot. 'Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Then, of course, we can list them off. Salma Hayek. Jennifer Aniston. Sandra Bullock. Cate Blanchett. Monica Bellucci. All a year or two either side of 40. And all hot. Jennifer Aniston? Sandra Bullock? Are you insane? Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Jennifer Aniston? Sandra Bullock? Are you insane? Nope. Are you blind? Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 When checking out women, I pretend to be. Link to post Share on other sites
boshemia Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Not all older women are looking for commitment, they do usually require some level of maturity. I've found as I get older that I am appalled at the behavior of twenty something women (namely myself 10 years ago) I was jealous, needy, had no self-esteem, and couldn't do a damn thing without the approval of everyone around me. Now, ehhh... WHO CARES? You wanna cheat on me? Take your bags with you. You want to leave me? Don't let the door hit you... Needy? Eh, nothing you can do for me I can't do for myself... and I'm independent as hell. I actually get annoyed with people who want to spend too much time together, I think i need at least three nights a week alone just to keep myself sane. I can't imagine waiting by the phone hoping a guy will call me, I entertain myself quite nicely. I've noticed that with a lot of women, something about hitting 30 just seems to mellow them out a bit. They can just hang out with someone and just enjoy whatever they have been given. Sometimes when a 30 something woman asks you out for coffee, she really just wants to have coffee... I don't really have much to offer in the way of advice, which seems to be ok since you didn't seem to have much advice to ask for. I guess all I can really say is be honest with them, it never hurts... if a guy says hey, you are cool to hang out with and talk to but that's all I see for our future, I'm cool with that. There are some younger girls out there like that as well as some older women who will still be needy and clingy. Age really shouldn't be the issue as much as a solid connection. Maybe you are just destined to be with an older woman... maybe you just wont be ready for that age group until you are actually a part of it... who knows. Just enjoy life while you can... it goes by much to fast to waste time thinking too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Not all older women are looking for commitment, they do usually require some level of maturity. I've found as I get older that I am appalled at the behavior of twenty something women (namely myself 10 years ago). Are you looking at the word commitment as a precursor to marriage or are you looking at commitment as exclusivity in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I'm 38 (look 28 though, not bragging, I just hear it ALL the time and I go to the gym and am in great shape, better than most of the high school female students I taught, but then teenage obesity is on the rise so anymore I admit that's not saying much)....I can totally understand, it's just a matter of preference. I notice good looking guys in their 20s but I'm no cougar, I'm just not into the younger guys. Just like I can see a 63 year old man and say to myself "he's attractive" I'm just not attracted to him. I'll go 5 years younger and about 5 years older, give or take a few. It's just a matter of preference, you know? But you CAN find women your age with emotional maturity, confidence, etc. Dating is hard for anyone, it's about finding someone who "does it for you" and at the same time you "do it for them." It can be done. If it were easy to find that perfect match, LS would not be so popular. Link to post Share on other sites
boshemia Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Are you looking at the word commitment as a precursor to marriage or are you looking at commitment as exclusivity in a relationship? Personally I tend to look at commitment as what they do to you when you are insane, and it usually involves men in white coats and a rubber room : ) But I was refering to the OP's comment I think what's keeping me hanging at the moment is that older women are usually looking for a LTR (and marriage minded also), and i dont think i want part in that - not at this point in my life anyway. which my mind translated to commitment... and somewhere in there is a full counseling session waiting to happen I'm sure. Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 boshemia, I think he's saying he's willing to commit to a woman his age but doesn't want to commit to a significantly older woman. There's nothing wrong with that, why lead an older woman on? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Personally I tend to look at commitment as what they do to you when you are insane, and it usually involves men in white coats and a rubber room : ) But I was refering to the OP's comment which my mind translated to commitment... and somewhere in there is a full counseling session waiting to happen I'm sure. Hahaha... I think most of us on LS need commitment then. Either definition works. I was trying to understand from which perspective you were coming from. Nothing more intense than that. As for full counseling session, if we all go, we can probably get a damn good group rate... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I've noticed that with a lot of women, something about hitting 30 just seems to mellow them out a bit. They can just hang out with someone and just enjoy whatever they have been given. Sometimes when a 30 something woman asks you out for coffee, she really just wants to have coffee... That's true because i notice that a lot also. It appears older women dont take things for granted as much as younger women do - maybe its the maturity but they learn to appreciate things in life better. Thats what i find intriguing about them, their company is easily enjoyable and just cause a guy chats with them or not - they wont avoid him like a plague cause she believes he's hitting on her. I don't really have much to offer in the way of advice, which seems to be ok since you didn't seem to have much advice to ask for. I guess all I can really say is be honest with them, it never hurts... if a guy says hey, you are cool to hang out with and talk to but that's all I see for our future, I'm cool with that. There are some younger girls out there like that as well as some older women who will still be needy and clingy. Age really shouldn't be the issue as much as a solid connection. Maybe you are just destined to be with an older woman... maybe you just wont be ready for that age group until you are actually a part of it... who knows. I think that's where I fall - i dont really feel like i belong to that age group, yet my mentality is kind of in motion in that direction. If you ask me to hang out with a group of girls my age or younger, i dont think i could handle them. I think the reason is I'm mostly or half introvert, and the other part extravert - but the reason for that is usually i dont have the energy to exude such extroversion. But i will if i really have the energy and am focused on something. But you CAN find women your age with emotional maturity, confidence, etc. Dating is hard for anyone, it's about finding someone who "does it for you" and at the same time you "do it for them." It can be done. If it were easy to find that perfect match, LS would not be so popular. You're probably right and i think i can - but i just dont know where to look or find them. School? work? bars? The last person who i thought was emotionally mature/confident was my ex but i was wrong. We were similar in ways in respect to maturity but she had her own approach. She tried hard to be more mature than her age, but she couldnt because she had a spoiled childhood - the harder she tried, the less people would respect her. She was far from ready in having a commited relationship which i learned the hard way. boshemia, I think he's saying he's willing to commit to a woman his age but doesn't want to commit to a significantly older woman. There's nothing wrong with that, why lead an older woman on? Yes you're right about that. And no i've never lead women on especially if im not attracted to them. Link to post Share on other sites
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