Guest Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Hi I've known this guy for years and we flirt a bit when we see each other. I'm married and so is he. we both belong to a professional organisation and see each other regularly. We discovered we have birthdays a couple of days apart and we went out for coffee. I kept it from my husband because he's a very jealous person. I really enjoyed this guy's company and he makes me feel good as he pays me a lot of compliments but we did nothing but drink coffee. But he's told me he would like to do it again sometime. Can I please have some clarification on this? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Everyone has different boundaries in terms of what is and isn't cheating. I think if you have to hide it from you husband, HE will consider it cheating even if you don't. If your husband is very jealous, it will cause trouble in your relationship even if what you are doing is harmless. That said, it's very easy to get drawn into an emotional affair with someone - it starts out the way you are...being flattered by compliments and attention, a little flirting, having some things in common, hiding the relationship from your husband...next thing you know, you are looking forward to seeing him more frequently, you are talking secretly on the phone and emails, and soon you are sharing your personal thoughts with him, he understands you, he makes you feel good, oh my, you've fallen in love and you can't get out... All of that takes away from the energy you put into your marriage. So, what I'm saying is, you may not be cheating now, but it's a slippery slope when you start to hide relationships from your husband. And he's likley to get hurt no matter what it is you are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Arrange a date with him, get him to bed. Tell your husband. That should clarify matters. Link to post Share on other sites
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