user-friendly Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 5 years ago, my now-husband proposed to me. At the time, he wanted me to go with him to pick out a ring with him so that I could have exactly what I wanted. Found the perfect ring and he left the store with all the info on it. I never saw that ring again. He kept telling me how important it was to him, and that he really wanted to get me a ring, and our wedding kept getting pushed further and further away, because he said that he wanted for me to have a ring first. 2 years later, he "re-proposed", this time with a ring. While he was actually in the process of proposing to me, he explained that it was probably fake, as he didn't really spend any money on it. I didn't care, as it was about the fact that he was finally ready to be serious, and marry me. He always talked about replacing the stone with a real diamond, but I didn't want to, as the setting is very unstable, and would get destroyed easily. A year and a half later, we were married. We went through some tough times last year, and he told me that he really didn't want to marry me, and that he felt pressured into it, and that's why he got me the ring that he did. At that point I stopped wearing it altogether. Things got better, and last fall he started talking about getting me a real engagement ring. The thing is, that he wants to get me one that looks the same as the old one. It is ugly as sin. And everytime I see it, it reminds me of all the hurt we went through. I don't want the same ring. It's not my style at all to begin with, and to top it off, I don't want to be reminded of everything. How do I tell him this without him getting extremely upset? Would you get offended by this? I mean, we ARE already married. Should I really expect him to buy me an engagement ring? It took him 2 years to do something that was supposedly so important to him before, and I ended up disappointed in the end. I don't want to go through that again! Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 Tell him this: And everytime I see it, it reminds me of all the hurt we went through. I don't want the same ring. .............., I don't want to be reminded of everything. Leave out the part about it being ugly or not your style. Tell him you feel like this is a new beginning for the two of you, and you want the ring to be new as well. Link to post Share on other sites
chryssy83 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Maybe honesty is the best policy, but if he would respond better to it you could just focus on the positive things about the new ring you do want rather than reasons you don't want the old one. I think that the new start language puts a good spin on things. Link to post Share on other sites
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