How to find out if my guy has Madonna/Whore issues?

[alittleconfused]

Hey everybody, new here.

So my boyfriend and I lived together last year, currently doing Long distance (eew) but things are generally going very well. Before we did the long distance thing, I asked about porn since I just wanted to know how things would be after I moved away. Anyway, long story short, at the time he told me he didn't watch any. (I sometimes wonder if its because he thinks I'm too much of a "good girl" to handle that kind of info).

 

So you know, months pass, and I finally noticed one day that he has a few XXX sites in his history. And I was a little shocked/upset partly because I don't want him to think those women are better looking but also because he told me he didn't watch that kind of stuff. So I was upset for a little bit, but then I got over it. Still though, I was curious (since I don't watch myself) and I looked through his videos:

 

Nothing out of the ordinary, usually just 2 people, looks like pink taco sex etc. But I started thinking: our sex life is GREAT, don't get me wrong, but we don't do a lot of wild stuff and I want to make sure I give him a little variety. So.. I tried and I utterly failed I was trying to be all seductive and I said: so you wanna have sex? Thinking it'd be like... dirty talk right? And he said I killed the mood!!! He said he wanted it to be "romantic" with me. And like that's sweet and all, but it's not like he's watching all soft core porn w/ candles and roses. Is there any way that I can tell if he has some separation issue where I'm not satisfying his "dirty girl" needs?

 

Anyway, I tried asking him about it, but I just don't know how to approach it, so I just changed the subject.

 

Not looking for any: omg! how can you let your guy watch porn?! Just some constructive ideas, thanks.

[Island Girl]

You may want to make the overture during the act itself - as in doing something he may be into while getting to the act itself - try naughty lingerie or something like that.

 

Instead of "want to have sex" try a little look and kiss him and then whisper in his ear "I want you inside me". See if that gets a better response.

[alittleconfused]

You may want to make the overture during the act itself - as in doing something he may be into while getting to the act itself - try naughty lingerie or something like that.

 

Instead of "want to have sex" try a little look and kiss him and then whisper in his ear "I want you inside me". See if that gets a better response.

 

I guess I was a little thrown specifically by "I want it to be romantic with you" and I sort of noticed that mostly we just make love, there's not much else. It's still highly satisfying, but I'd like to make sure that if he would like variety in the less romantic sense, we can enjoy that together too. Is there a way to ask him about "less intimate" sex?

 

Thanks!

[Island Girl]

I guess I was a little thrown specifically by "I want it to be romantic with you" and I sort of noticed that mostly we just make love, there's not much else. It's still highly satisfying, but I'd like to make sure that if he would like variety in the less romantic sense, we can enjoy that together too. Is there a way to ask him about "less intimate" sex?

 

Thanks!

 

I wouldn't ask him - clearly his perception is skewed when it is discussed.

 

I'd make the sex a little "less intimate". Being very frank - make some moves that are more on the I want you and see you as desirable without the soft "I love you" behind it.

 

Does that make sense? - More animal like.

[Erik]

All guys have Madonna/Magdalena-issues. Female psychology is not much different. Women want guys that are dependable, honest, loving, hard working, sensible, talkative, supportive and love to talk about their emotions. But sexually, they are attracted to the Tarzan-types, rebels, crazy men.

[Island Girl]

All guys have Madonna/Magdalena-issues. Female psychology is not much different. Women want guys that are dependable, honest, loving, hard working, sensible, talkative, supportive and love to talk about their emotions. But sexually, they are attracted to the Tarzan-types, rebels, crazy men.

 

My man is all of these things. How lucky I am!

[Erik]

Rebels don't marry.

[LakesideDream]

Wrong Erik, haven't you noticed all the really "pretty" gals are married to T-shirt wearing, Cigarette Smoking, pre-cancer tanned, heavily tattoo'd construction workers?

 

It's all good for awhile. Then they get left with 2-3 kids, no place to live, looking for someone to "take care of them" when the contracting guy moves on to a younger woman.

 

Generally speaking the nicer, more respectful men do finish last in love.