We were all friends

[Guest]

I just need somewhere to vent, I'm in a situation I never in a million years thought I'd be in.

 

I'm having an affair.

 

I'm married with 2 children and have been in a struggling marriage.

He's married with 2 children and has been in a struggling marriage as well.

 

Our families were close. We were neighbors, we hung out all the time, had get togethers, watched each others children, etc.

 

We moved to another state, came back for a visit and one of the nights it was he and I alone (I had a little much to drink) and we found ourselves intimately together. The next day all our families were together again. I made a passing comment (in front of everyone) about me having too much to drink the night before and he said "I wasn't as drunk as you think I was" Fast forward a couple days later and my phone rings and it's him.

 

He wants to talk about what happened. He then tells me he has had feelings for me for a long time. He wants to fly out and see me if I will see him.

 

I agreed (yes I've always found him to be a wonderful man and would watch him from afar as well).

 

We started a relationship and we just continued to grow closer, more intimate and wanting to talk and be with one another. We've met in different cities and have had wonderful times together.

 

Our spouses have found out we've been talking and met in just one city. We've discussed divorce and each have met with divorce attorneys. Now it's crunch time for us and I'm scared sh*tless. I'm scared I'm not going to go through with it, I'm scared he's not going to go through with it.

 

We love one another more than any words can express. He's the mushy one and has said that if I'm in the relationship for just sex then to please tell him. He wants to spend his life with me.

 

He doesn't want to be without me. etc. These are things he has said to me, I've never forced the issue as I don't feel that would be right. We both feel that we were meant to be together we just are afraid of hurting our children and our spouses. We love each others children as they were our own. I'd do anything for his kids and he for mine.

 

I've just never been in this situation before (and good lord never again will I) and "they rarely ever leave their wife" just keeps running through my head.

 

Any thoughts, comments etc. are appreciated. I don't think I'm really asking any question here just blabbing.