Break up then friends????

[Guest]

I have a question......

 

If the dumper says they want to be friends for now....

 

Then what substantiates a friendship? Not hearing from them for weeks, months then out of the blue receiving a phone call? Or is up to me, to initate the phone calls or wait for them to call me? Do I begin the N/C?

 

How do you be a friend once the dumper has dumped you? Or were they just trying to save my feelings. Do friends not call each other often?

 

Please I need some advice...........

[WhiteKnight]

In the usual case, I have been dumped a few times so to be brief...

 

There are many reasons or contributing factors on why the break up happened and why you were dumped. In all honesty, in some ways you were just used or something was not made out for the best.

 

I'll be honest. Being dumped can be looked in a good way, as in, if the partner you were with dumped you because she or he never had the guts to tell ya the truth about their real feelings on the matter. Also at the same time, being 'Let's just be friends' is kinda harsh but a neutral response that the relationship ended and both sides should not fight anymore.

 

Otherwords its like... "Thank for you for what we had... but its over."

 

To be honest, in order to be a friend of a person who dumped you. Take it from a person who has experienced it.

 

First off, leave the woman alone. Never initiate the conversation, if she truly wants to become friends and then she should make the move to heal things. Not you.

 

Secondly, if she wants to talk to you. Let her talk. Let her initiate the conversation and see what she is trying to do.

 

Thirdly, be always honest and truthful to your ex. If you have to be blunt sometimes, do so as in if you want them to back off from your private life.

 

About Friendships in general, anything can go like in a two way street.

 

First you have to ask yourself, 'are you in the position to become friends?' and then follow it up with, 'Do you really miss that person and want to become friends again?'

 

Later on as time progresses, you will find yourself with many difficult choices and decisions to make that would either benefit you or ruin it. I have to admit, trying to let a friendship heal between two ex's is very hard and ongoing.

 

There is no need to it to be honest, because the emotions and tensions once shared between each other. The love and bond will always be there but at the same time, the truth will eventually reveal itself that you missed the love you two once shared. I have to admit, I've come across that road before and it wasn't pretty after I foolishly let my own hatred overcome my bitter judgement and betray my ex at some point.

 

I will admit though, its very hard and always will be difficult to work things out. Usually I let any of my ex-gfs try to repair the friendship if they want to, given a chance they may have... but rarely you get a response that would work out for you.