pineapple2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 Hey all, (I’ll try and keep this short) 3 days ago I ended it with my boyfriend of 7 months. The main reason I broke it off was because he is dependent on alcohol and when he drinks, he feels the need to be out in the night life(partying), and doesn’t stop there. He ends up in after-hours clubs/bars and looks for drugs: coke, weed, and always ends up getting it, and does it. Sometimes he doesn’t remember what happened the night before and I have heard he engages in very promiscuous behaviour with strangers… and of course, does not remember these encounters. So I said to myself “wait a minute, this guy is going to bring some STD to me!” (he has already been exposed to some in the past). so I got scared, and angered, so I ended it in a calm firm manner. I told him “look, I cant be with u if u are going to continue to drink and hurt urself coz it hurts me, and puts me and my health in GREAT danger."And the gist of his response was, “well I don’t think I am going to stop, ive always been like this, I’ll always BE like this”……….. so it was kind of mutual…(?!) Now I am seriously second guessing. The thoughts of “should I have stayed a bit longer? What if he thinks I am weak or bad for leaving him? What if he needs my help, what if he’s hurt. What if hes waiting for me to call, should I call to see how hes doing?” will not stop going through my head. I keep getting urges to call and tell him how much I love and care deeply for him. But I can’t do that, I’ll look like a big idiot. But I love him so much:( …and the thought of him out there without me is scary and it hurts a lot. We were like best friends also, I was the main person in his life… And all of this makes my urges that much stronger… I know I made the right decision. I am a very ambitious young adult and I am currently working very hard to put myself through college. I am surrounded by people just like my myself. So why the hell can’t I just accept my own decision? Why am I second guessing myself this intensively. Like somewhere deep down inside is saying “wow, you should not have done that!!” ….Any advice?? should I go back? did i do the right thing??????? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 No, don't go back. In 20 years this guy will have had 3 failed marriages to women half as wise as you, and will look like a wrung out shop rag. You'll outlive him by decades. Find a guy who takes care of himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladywithafan Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 ...there's no second guessing here. You did the right thing....let him figure out how he gets AIDS next year after a one night stand. It's one thing if your own behaviour brings you a problem....no need to let anyone do it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pineapple2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 ...there's no second guessing here. You did the right thing....let him figure out how he gets AIDS next year after a one night stand. It's one thing if your own behaviour brings you a problem....no need to let anyone do it to you. well why the HELL DO I WANT HIM BACK SO BAD?????? AM I RETARDED???????? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 well why the HELL DO I WANT HIM BACK SO BAD?????? AM I RETARDED???????? no you're not retarded PINEAPPLE....you're just human Link to post Share on other sites
shelliezdesign Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Seriously, you did the right thing. But it is sooo easy to go back. But once you do, it's a never ending cycle. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years who is an extreme partier, binge drinker...who carries anger along with it. We have been through so much and no matter how hard I tried, how long I was there for him, how many times I picke up the pieces that he broke out of being irresponsible.... he has never changed, and continues his denial. It's a shame because without the alcohol and partying....we are great friends and a great couple. However, I finally realized....he will never change unless he wants to. I too saw the red flags in the beginning, but ignored them because of my feelings for him. Now it's 4 years later and we have broken up for the 3rd time. I kept going back.... because when he was sober he was perfect. I ended up wasting my time. So...you did the right thing, just stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
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