Turning the table

[sara500]

My ex-husband had an affair with his co-worker for about 2 years. After his "OW" called me and told me about the affair, I was upset, crushed and depressed. I ended our marriage after he admitted to the affair but wanted to work things out. She wouldn't let go. She kept calling our home telling me that he wanted her and not me. She even went as far as sending gifts to my house for my children.

 

After our divorce, he married his new found love and she quit her job after they had a child. 1 month after their child was born, my-husband and I started sleeping together. While our children are over at their house (she was taking care of them), he will tell her that he is working late or hanging out with his friends when he is actually meeting me. I go with him when he is go on business trips. I like not being married to him but dating him. It's funny how the tables have turned. I will not call her like she did me to tell her about our affairs as I don't want her to leave him. He has asked me if I would re-marry him if he divorce her. I told him No. I like our relationship as it is. We have know each other for 20 years. I like the time me and her now husband spend together. I laugh to myself everytime I see her come with him to drop off the kids and she has to get out of the car and hug my children and then swat him on the behind in front of me while staring at me over her shoulder. She actually thinks he is faithful to her. I love it. I am having alot of fun right now. I am doing great at work and I am also dating another man whom is not married. I don't want to get married again and I am enjoying my freedom. Who knew being the OW to my ex, who married the his ex-OW whom ruined our marriage, would be fun.

[Tony T]

Like sand through an hourglass...these are the Days of our Lives!!!

[westernxer]

Like sand through an hourglass...these are the Days of our Lives!!!

 

***snicker***

[Confused27]

I'm not sure if I would consider this to be "turning the table". If I were you, I would think long and hard about what is really going on here.

He CHEATED on you and you did the right thing by leaving. I don't know how long you were together, but it is normal for people to start getting their sense of worth through their partner, so I assume that when you found out about the OW, your self-esteem and sense of worth were wounded.

Now that you are being the willing OW with your ex, I'm afraid much of the pleasure you are deriving from the situation is that it makes you feel better about yourself. You are possibly still seeing yourself through his eyes and getting a thrill from the whole "ha ha. he's now cheating on you with ME!"

I can't see how this is healthy at all. You don't need revenge to be fulfilled. You don't need to be in this situation at all. You cut him off out of self-repsect and now you are letting him back in ( although you may feel like the one in control). You are dating someone right now...doesn't this current relationship deserve to grow without any poisoning from the past? What happens if your current bf finds out and leaves you? Then,your ex has won again...give yourself the chance to live the life you deserve, one without negativity and game-playing.

I am not trying to preach, I am just really concerned. I'm afraid you may be headed down a long, dark path. What will ever come of this except the cheap thrill of revenge?

[Jinxx]

My ex-husband had an affair with his co-worker for about 2 years. After his "OW" called me and told me about the affair, I was upset, crushed and depressed. I ended our marriage after he admitted to the affair but wanted to work things out. She wouldn't let go. She kept calling our home telling me that he wanted her and not me. She even went as far as sending gifts to my house for my children.

 

After our divorce, he married his new found love and she quit her job after they had a child. 1 month after their child was born, my-husband and I started sleeping together. While our children are over at their house (she was taking care of them), he will tell her that he is working late or hanging out with his friends when he is actually meeting me. I go with him when he is go on business trips. I like not being married to him but dating him. It's funny how the tables have turned. I will not call her like she did me to tell her about our affairs as I don't want her to leave him. He has asked me if I would re-marry him if he divorce her. I told him No. I like our relationship as it is. We have know each other for 20 years. I like the time me and her now husband spend together. I laugh to myself everytime I see her come with him to drop off the kids and she has to get out of the car and hug my children and then swat him on the behind in front of me while staring at me over her shoulder. She actually thinks he is faithful to her. I love it. I am having alot of fun right now. I am doing great at work and I am also dating another man whom is not married. I don't want to get married again and I am enjoying my freedom. Who knew being the OW to my ex, who married the his ex-OW whom ruined our marriage, would be fun.

 

Now this is just too friggin funny! Talk about sweet revenge! I love it! Hopefully one of these days you get the satisfaction of meeting some nice man and you get to dump your ex-husband permanently.

[Confused27]

she will meet a nice man...she doesn't need that to dump him. how many nice men would like that his gf was sleeping with her ex?

 

ugh...i don't know this man and I can't stand him. How can he cheat on his wife with his ex-wife that he cheated on? Does he ever say that he feels incredibly weird?

[climbergirl]

I bet this scenario isn't as unusual as we'd think.

[MoonGirl]

I don't think this is unusual at all - I know 2 other women that have been in the same situation.

[sara500]

Don't worry. I'm just having fun right now. I will dump him. I don't think he feel weird. He never wanted the divorce. He thought that I would believe that he wouldn't sleep with her anymore and refused marriage counseling. When she kept calling, I put two and two together. I was crushed. I do love the fact that she carry on like I have your kids and your ex- husband. What she doesn't know is that I have been sleeping with her husband and have met her child and while she is watching my kids, I am sleeping with her husband. Yes. It is sweet revenge. The only way she will find out is if HE tells her. I don't want to ruin a happy home.

 

Do I feel bad about what I am doing? No. I will let him go eventually as I am not in love with him. Remember, he wanted to divorce her and come back to me. I don't want him to leave her. I want her to continue to stay with him. I like the fact that I am able to play and go home and NOT live with him. I don't love him anymore, I am just having fun. I will get rid of him soon after I am done playing. Sweet revenge. I wonder will she feel betrayed or does she think that he would never cheat on her as she is the right one for him.

[Trialbyfire]

:lmao:

 

No words can ever describe my amusement. Irony is sweeeetttt. Don't forget to call at Christmas and have a nice...long...conversation.

[HennyPenny]

I feel like he shouldn't be rewarded for being a jackass to you during your marriage. I know you're enjoying the feeling that you're getting revenge on her, but he's getting what he's wanted all along. Does he deserve to?

[Trialbyfire]

But she wants him so she's having her cake and eating it too, but in a different way. Just as long as she doesn't seriously fall for him again, it shouldn't be too difficult to dump him...

[Meaplus3]

My ex-husband had an affair with his co-worker for about 2 years. After his "OW" called me and told me about the affair, I was upset, crushed and depressed. I ended our marriage after he admitted to the affair but wanted to work things out. She wouldn't let go. She kept calling our home telling me that he wanted her and not me. She even went as far as sending gifts to my house for my children.

 

After our divorce, he married his new found love and she quit her job after they had a child. 1 month after their child was born, my-husband and I started sleeping together. While our children are over at their house (she was taking care of them), he will tell her that he is working late or hanging out with his friends when he is actually meeting me. I go with him when he is go on business trips. I like not being married to him but dating him. It's funny how the tables have turned. I will not call her like she did me to tell her about our affairs as I don't want her to leave him. He has asked me if I would re-marry him if he divorce her. I told him No. I like our relationship as it is. We have know each other for 20 years. I like the time me and her now husband spend together. I laugh to myself everytime I see her come with him to drop off the kids and she has to get out of the car and hug my children and then swat him on the behind in front of me while staring at me over her shoulder. She actually thinks he is faithful to her. I love it. I am having alot of fun right now. I am doing great at work and I am also dating another man whom is not married. I don't want to get married again and I am enjoying my freedom. Who knew being the OW to my ex, who married the his ex-OW whom ruined our marriage, would be fun.

 

I don't mean to sound harsh here, but how could you call this Fun? It seem's rather twisted to me! Are you saying that you can now feel like you got the OW back, because you are now the OW?

 

AP:)

[Confused27]

I feel like he shouldn't be rewarded for being a jackass to you during your marriage. I know you're enjoying the feeling that you're getting revenge on her, but he's getting what he's wanted all along. Does he deserve to?

 

 

exactly...he is living in a dream...wow, my ex-wife that i cheated on will still sleep with me? He probably cant believe that you can even look at him without covering his face in spit.

 

how about getting revenge by moving on with your life and letting them swim in their own disfunction? When he does it to her and she finds out, you will know that you are sooo lucky to not be in her position any more

[whichwayisup]

I wonder how funny all this will be later in life for your children, and your ex's child with his OW aka new wife. Have you and your husband thought about the long term affects all this will have on those innocent kids?

 

Two wrongs don't make a right.

[Curmudgeon]

I do! It's a sick, twisted situation in which everyone's a loser. There's no other way to look at it.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm guessing that all the children know is that Mommy and Daddy divorced and now are getting along much, much better but I don't know that for certain.

 

I'm now living precariously through your life sara500. Just don't get too attached to him again so you get hurt once again.

[hardknocks]

sounds like a never ending NIGHTMARE to me.

 

i can't even fathom the psychological damage going on.

[Curmudgeon]

Well, I'm sure it's something she's willingly told her children is going on since she's so proud of herself, don't you think?

[Guest]

This is a power struggle between the former Wife and former OW. I come to this conclusion via this poster's description of former OW's provocative behaviour. Ex-Husband is a pawn for both.

 

I think this game won't end until current wife finds out and Sara is able to publicly reject Ex-Husband.

 

Very human and, yes, very dramatic.

[Chapter2]

I feel sorry for all three of you and your kids...this is nothing to gloat about...it sounds like none of you have really gotten healthy. I would think your greatest ambition at this point would be to be rid of someone that would treat you so disrespectfully.

 

And by the way...nobody is buying that you don't have feelings attached to this. He was your husband, the father of your children. You can do so much better and revenge will get you no where...whether you care or not, you've put yourself second at best, last at worst. Have some dignity and don't settle for his scraps. Yuck.

 

He's laughing all the way to the bank...at two women's expense.

[casoria99]

The days of our lives thing was funny!

 

But in all seriousness, you are talking about how you are playing a game with another woman. You said that she swatted his butt in front of you but you are keeping a secret of still sleeping with him. It's a game that you are playing with the other woman. Why are you interested in that game and using the kids as pawns.

 

It sounds as if you should do one of these options:

a. Be like a vegetarian and quit eating the cow if you want to eat the veggies. In other words, get rid of the baby daddy and just screw the OW. Because it already sounds like that's what you all are doing.

 

b. Arrange threesome and keep the cow (MM) in the middle.

 

c. get the other man that you said you are dating and try to make your ex-husband jealous rather than the OW. It makes more sense.

 

d. don't stop with the new guy, but keep on dating until a good man comes along and totally ditch the baby daddy.

 

e. all of the above

 

f. none of the above

[lovernotafighter]

I just think it's odd Sara you say "she ruined your marriage" you know your husband didn't have to stick his d*ck in her over and over again, I am sure he wasn't forced.

 

and as for you, you divorced him for what he did however you show him hypocrisy by sleeping with him? and not only that your giving him what he already had...not much of a punishment really.

 

if it makes you feel better then do it. but I am worried when all is said and done your gonna really feel like a used piece of sh*t. why do that to your self, haven't you been through enough?

 

your way better than this situation, neither of those 2 deserve the attention you are giving them by putting your self through this.

[Woggle]

Nothing good can come of this so I would just move on and forget about him. That is what I did after my spouse cheated on me. I just washed my hands clean of her and would never go back to her or even entertain her requests for sex. You may think you are having fun but deep down there is still some hurt over his cheating and you think you are getting over on the both of them when in reality he is probably getting over on the both of you.

[queenbee930]

How many of you are OWs? And how many of you OWs know what your doing is wrong but are already emotionally invested in the relationship and "can't let go"?

 

How many of you have met your MMs children?

 

I didn't see anywhere that she is using the kids as pawns. Most of the OWs on this forum love your MM too much to stop what your doing, which is selfish and self-serving. I say let the girl be selfish and selfserving as long as she isn't hurting her kids or herself.