Teacher's Pet Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Saturday night I was out to dinner with friends, and when everyone got up to leave, I decided to stay a few more minutes because a friend of mine was at the club. About 2 minutes later, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, and it's my ex's FORMER best friend (a male). I may have posted a little of his story way back when, but he was dating a girl who dumped him for a friend of my ex's cousin (who actually set them up!), and as you can guess, created a lot of drama for EVERYONE involved, myself included, being friends to everyone in the situation..... My ex decided she really didn't want to get in the middle of the situation (smart choice), but instead, used everything her former friend would tell her in confidence AGAINST him, including blabbing to her cousin her the guy's ex girlfriend, making life so much more worse for him. I knew this was wrong, but *the old me* was under strict "orders" to keep my mouth shut. And being the weak, low self-esteem spineless person I was, I let it all happen, instead of standing up for the truth, even at the expense of my less-than-healthy relationship. Him and I talked about that the other night, and he knew the bind I was in. During the whole fiasco (which included him getting the crap beat out of him, and his truck getting sabotaged), I did everything I could for the guy without jeopardizing my relationship. Needless to say, he did recognize the fact that I was the only one who was really there for him when his gf of almost 2 years dumped him for a guy everyone knew (and still does) was a complete ass. I hadn't seen him since about 3 months before B and I broke up, but he knew the story. To this day, he hasn't spoken to her, partially because of the way she betrayed their friendship, and yes, partially because of what she did to me. He said, "She's a C*** and you are better off without her. She's a C***, E (his ex) is a C***, they are ALL a bunch of C***'s!" We then got into a semi-deep conversation about my ex. They were friends for nearly 15 years, so he gave me a little more insight into her, though it was nothing I didn't already know. My ex is a VERY miserable person. I've heard this from various people who know her, and to add credibility to that, none of these people know each other. These are honest opinions from several people. My ex has always been this way since high school. She doesn't know how to maintain friendships, relationships, or even deal with her own life. One thing I didn't know that he told me, is that she's been on and off "medication" for a while (I'm assuming some sort of psychiatric drug). She had an opportunity to follow her father's footsteps (finance), but instead became a high school teacher, and apparently, that dissapointed him greatly, and he lets her know it every chance he gets. Of course, there is nothing wrong with teaching, but her dad invested so much so she could persue an MBA or something similar, but she opted to go her own route. Of course (and this I knew), she's a dissapointment to her mother, because she REFUSES to have kids. They've actually argued about that in front of me while we were dating! B prefers a life with as little responsibility as possible. I always knew that, and frankly, that's what I offered to her. We both had so much drama in our lives when we were dating, us getting married, would have been a way out for the both of us, because we'd both put our combined "baggage" behind us. Somehow, I've managed to do just that (pretty much), but she will forever live in the shadow of dissapointment, and just be a bitter and heartless woman who preys on "weak men" to get her "fix" of self-worth and sexual gratification. The guy told me he DID run into her once since all of this. She was with her new bf, a short, very "weak"-looking guy. B is a former athlete and a very "assertive" control freak, so he assumes this guy is yet another one she could easily control. He and I talked for a while longer, and realized that, of course, there was no reason why me and him shouldn't be friends. After all, before all this happened, we were GREAT friends, and heck, we've both been screwed by the best (well, me in more ways hehehe), just gives us another bond between us. Seeing him at the club made my heart stop, because I had no idea what to expect. Now I'm glad I stayed those extra few minutes. Reflecting on what happened, I realized how much good came out of my disastrous breakup..... I made great new friends (hi FW and DS hehe), I have a great social life now (when I'm not sick), I'm having a lot of fun (would you believe I have a shot at making the WSOP next year???) I'm even being "pursued" by a really cute blonde 25yr old (that would be awesome if we could ever work some alone time into our schedules!), but most importantly, I'm not the same weak-minded, easily manipulated guy that got his heart broken 9 MONTHS AGO TODAY. That poor slob no longer exists. He's dead. She killed him, I just buried the body. -tp (yeah yeah still lowercase) v2.0 Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 You are getting better. Slowly but surely. I bet once the bugs are out of v2.0 and you get an upgrade to v2.5 you'll be even better! (geek joke). Way to heal bro! Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Inspiring post, and great story, tp! You strike me as very Upper Case at this point in your life, TP! polywog (still lower case at this point) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 Inspiring post, and great story, tp! You strike me as very Upper Case at this point in your life, TP! polywog (still lower case at this point) lol... The uppercase initials won't happen until I break the curse.... *grin* -tp soon, very soon. Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 lol... The uppercase initials won't happen until I break the curse.... *grin* -tp soon, very soon. Well, I've heard that tp vol.2.1 is due out soon, with antivirus software included (no spyware stoppers tho)... Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I made a great friend out of my break up too. I hope it stays that way and he doesn't revert sides, but I sit here 2.5 months later, and he tells me "I don't even think she's a good person anymore." He defends me to our "mutual" friends, saying "you don't know his side of the story. Yes, he overreacted, and he admits it and apologized, but you don't know everything that went down to make him so hurt." The one thing I'll recommend to you, however, is to seek another bond besides your ex's. Seriously. I try not to mention my ex around this guy now. I don't want to use him for that and I realize that IF we are to become good friends, we need other topics of conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 All this is is a reason to post bad things about your ex. It shows you haven't really let go at all. She's on anti-depressants? Big deal. Nice way to criticize half of the population. A conversation between two guys that have been dumped calling their dumpers c**ts. Really nice. And mature. Nope, no baggage or anger there. Then go ahead and criticize her relationship with her stepfather, her supposed weaknesses, keep running her down. Oh go ahead and criticize her current bf by his "weak looking appearance." that is a really solid assessment. You're not over the break-up, in fact your post screams that you're actually still in love with her. I'm sure you're going to come back with "well she dumped me for another guy, really was awful to me, did a number on me, etc." But I just don't feel she's as awful of a person as you are letting on as you are demeaning her whole being for no apparent reason. You revel in the fact that you hope she is unhappy (which is probably not true, you are just hoping that.) It's time to grow up and start being mature. OK she dumped you. Nine months ago. Time to stop calling her c**t,now, OK? And running her down because of her supposed family issues. Lots of people have been through lots of relationships, it doesn't mean it's manipulating behavior on their parts, it just means they've had a lot of relationships. Doesn't mean she's a bad person, or controlling, etc. you're just speaking from the 'bad grapes' side. ANd if she did dump you for another guy, at least she didn't keep cheating on you, she gave you respect enough to dump you. HOnestly it's bugging the heck out of you that she's moved completely on from you, and you are still obsessing 9 months later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 How many of my previous 1000+ posts should I quote? By the way, if you read back, *I* did not call her a C***. That was an exact quote from her former friend, I'm just quoting him here. C*** would be too good for her. Please don't make me quote 9 months of my own posts to defend myself. -tp see you next tuesday. Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I won't because you stoop so low as to criticize her for being on anti-depressants and her relationship with her parents. You still do have baggage! You doth protest too much. You need to have a more mature attitude. If she is a sad person, that is too bad. It's nothing to declare victory over. But I'm not convinced, it's obviously sour grapes on your part. If she's that horrible of a person, be glad she's gone. She's moved on and isn't giving you a thought at all, believe me. You seem to want her to be leading a miserable life as sort of "revenge." But the only way to have this revenge is to be happy yourself, but you're not because you're still obsessing over her and carrying around loads of baggage over the relationship that she has long let go of. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 You know, upon further review, I think she has a point. I am still in love with my ex. After all, who wouldn't be in love with a woman who..... 1. Treats me like a king one week, like crap the next, over and over for the entire relationship? 2. Says "YES" to my proposal in one breathe, tells me she doesn't think she "can spend her life with just one person" in the next? 3. Betrays her friends on a whim. 4. Lies to her parents at every possible moment. 5. Let's your best friend cry on her shoulder because her bf dumped her ONLINE, only to dump ME in a text message a couple of WEEKS later? 6. Always talks about being a "good Catholic", while having had an abortion, and a same-sex affair and covering it up with lies? 7. Supports her boyfriend's attempts to seek counseling over personal issues, then attacks him for it, calling him "crazy"? 8. Threatens to walk out of the relationship if her friends don't start "loving" her boyfriend (which they did, for the most part anyway) 9. Begs for concert tickets, only to refuse to go to the concert, buying her own tickets, and taking someone else? 10. Is constantly looking for the "easy way" to get through life? 11. Claims her independence, but relies on "daddy" to always bail her out? 12. Calls her bf up at midnight, drunk, to come over, only to tell him that she wouldn't have bothered calling if she "didn't want to get f***ed"? Yep! That's my baby! In fact, I NOW have a cute little name for her. It begins with a C, and rhymes with the last name of the popular female actress from "Mad About You". -tp free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free of that ass Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I stand by my assertion, you're overwhelmed with baggage over this woman. Let it go. I'm not going to judge her character by your posts. If she was that awful, then why didn't you leave the relationship first? Honestly with your posts, I think it points to why she left you. Your whole need to scream to the world how awful she is only proves that you haven't really made any progress in moving on from the relationship. Shouting it out to a messageboard that she is a c**t is indicative of that. Also, if she has issues due to her dysfunctional family background, then it's not really fair to criticize her imperfections which may be a result of her family background? I mean if she had a really bad life growing up and a bad relationship with her parents, why should you continue to run her down? Why not wish her well in overcoming her past? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 If she was that awful, then why didn't you leave the relationship first? And to quote my original post: "most importantly, I'm not the same weak-minded, easily manipulated guy that got his heart broken 9 MONTHS AGO TODAY. That poor slob no longer exists. He's dead." THAT'S why I didn't leave her. At that point in my life, I was a much weaker person, happy to have "anything" I could have. Counseling, great friends, and LoveShack took care of that. I'm sure you've been in a less-than-perfect relationship that you didn't just "walk away from" too. It's pretty much why 90% of us are here, my pretty. As for seeing the reasons why she left me, well, to reiterate what YOU said, you weren't going to judge her character by her posts, but you are judging me without knowing me or my full story, which is easily found by looking up my 9 months of very long-winded posts on here. It doesn't matter, though. I fully understand you've become the latest victim to my charm, warmth, and obvious sexuality. It's ok. LS will be opening a forum on dealing with teacherspetophilia. There IS hope. -tp no, I won't get over myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Also, if she has issues due to her dysfunctional family background, then it's not really fair to criticize her imperfections which may be a result of her family background? Actually, it's completely fair. She blamed our problems on my "lack of confidence" in the relationship (which obviously would have been idiotic to be so confident in), yet she was using psychiatric medications just to maintain SOME sense of normalcy. So she blames our relationship on problems I apparently have, while she swallows pill after pill to cope with her own? Something about "glass houses" comes to mind..... -tp that is, "people in glass houses should not throw stones". Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 teacherspetophilia. Do they have to register with the state if they have it ?.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Do they have to register with the state if they have it ?.. Only in New Jersey. Everywhere else, immunizations are being offered. -tp tp fever. catch it. Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I find it ironic that you posted this claiming to be so over her, yet the only way you have to defend this is by totally criticizing her character. She is the one who is a high school teacher, serving as a role model for today's youth. She seems to have her life pretty together, good for her! anyway, it's clear that the two of you weren't compatible, she recognized that, and left the relationship. You can have a rational opinion and still be on antidepressants. Her opinion was that you lacked confidence, just because she was on antidepressants doesn't mean she isn't capable of having this opinion and have reason to assess it as such. I'm sorry you're still angry and hurt by all of this, TP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Yep, I've done nothing but suffer since her. I NEVER go out and meet people..... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=99284&page=2 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=110439&page=19 I don't date anymore.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=100254&page=3 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=108352&page=2 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=110232&page=4 I haven't worked on self-improvement.... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=100254&page=3 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=99563&page=2 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t108439/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=110632&page=4 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=111473&page=10 But yes, Bridget, you are right! I'm still in love with her, and my whole life DOES revolve around NOTHING but that one person! -tp $5 says she doesn't read a single post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 I stand by my assertion, you're overwhelmed with baggage over this woman. *looks around* So, Miss Jones, being new here, let me welcome you to "COPING" on Love Shack. This is where people whine and bitch about their ex's without being judged. Pull up a couch, let's hear about your last fairytale romance. Did Prince Charming ride in on a team of horses? Did he save you from the dragon? Did he catch you as you fell from a burning building? Did he tell you that he can't believe it's not butter? We want to know about YOU now! -tp sit on zee couch, und tell me about your mahzur! Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 No, actually not going to read those posts. Because the fact that your way of proving to everyone is to completely criticize your ex and use the term c**t to describe her already demonstrates that you aren't really over her at all and are still carrying baggage. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 No, actually not going to read those posts. Because the fact that your way of proving to everyone is to completely criticize your ex and use the term c**t to describe her already demonstrates that you aren't really over her at all and are still carrying baggage. Are you his ex ?? Link to post Share on other sites
bridget_jones Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Honestly all I have to say is that I wish all my exes well. Hmm. *looks around* So, Miss Jones, being new here, let me welcome you to "COPING" on Love Shack. This is where people whine and bitch about their ex's without being judged. Pull up a couch, let's hear about your last fairytale romance. Did Prince Charming ride in on a team of horses? Did he save you from the dragon? Did he catch you as you fell from a burning building? Did he tell you that he can't believe it's not butter? We want to know about YOU now! -tp sit on zee couch, und tell me about your mahzur! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 She is the one who is a high school teacher, serving as a role model for today's youth. She seems to have her life pretty together, good for her! Yep! Britney Spears is a superstar, and was once a role model for youth! She's really together, too! -tp oops, i did it again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Honestly all I have to say is that I wish all my exes well. Hmm. 3 hots and a cot, right? -tp sorry, it just felt right. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 You know what? Sometimes we just have to frame something in a certain way to get over something. It's one of the standard coping tools for reaching that light on the other side of a break up. Truth of who is what, who did what... well, the truth often lies somewhere in between what "he says'she says. Doesn't matter, irrelevant. The first thing any competent therapist will tell you is to write a list of all there faults and put into detail why you are better off now, rather than where you were while in a relationship with someone who was toxic to us. A little bit of ex- bashing may not be poilically correct- but it's therapeutic....and it's cathartic. I think I'd have a bigger issue with TP's post if he went on and on about not being able to move forward because he still loved this woman who treated him disrespectably. By all means TP- keep up your posts and your laments. because that means you are putting forth the effort to place blame where blame is due- and take responsibility for the blame that you yourslef may have contrbuted to your relationship. Most therapists will help you to see why the two of you were incompatible, encourage you to talk about what is on your mind. SO what if you find yourself slamming her here and there- this forum is a safe forum we all go to that allows us to lament, speak our minds, and work through our pain. Any dummy can see that your ex caused you pain. But it takes a swift reader with insight and understanding to see that your progress has been amazing- and you shouldn't be punished for saying the ex might be a c#$t. I know you enough to know that she actually was.... You figure out what you need to- and as long as you recieve some growing experience from your ordeal...that's progress. you may not be over her 100%... hey, that's human. and it's ok. I'm in your corner here- you know that. Bash away. D Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 No, actually not going to read those posts. Because the fact that your way of proving to everyone is to completely criticize your ex and use the term c**t to describe her already demonstrates that you aren't really over her at all and are still carrying baggage. And again, except in one post to mock YOU, I did NOT refer to my ex as a 4-letter often-smelly, but still generally sought-after sometimes fuzzy female body part. Her former friend used the word, I merely quoted him. Last time I checked, quoting someone else's words did not equal agreement. For someone who calls herself "happy and bubbly" (yeah, I do my homework), I'll just assume you ran out of fizz already. But, I must admit, with 200+ posts in a little over a week here, you do have much to criticize people about already! You know, I think The View might be hiring soon. If you hate Donald Trump's hair and vote Democrat, you might have a future in television. -tp rosie, move over! p.s. It's 2AM here, and I'm just getting my second wind. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts