heartbroken1234 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 The girl I'm in love with and who claims to love me has a boyfriend... Her boyfriend is her brother's best friend. We've been sneaking around for probably about 6 months now... SHe says she wants to dump him and be with me but its just complicated... and she doesn't know how to do it... I was just wanting to know what people think about this... is this a valid excuse? is she just having her cake and eating it too? does she truly love me probably? Lil past history... we were together for about 9 months then she dumped me and started seeing this other guy... they are a distance relationship, so me and my ex have been sneaking around since then. We still love each other, so I think. She still claims she wants to marry me and spend her life with me. We are very intimate, but sex is a rarity... She says she doesn't want it to be just about that, which I find it as an excuse because she's guilty. But regardless guilt, we do everything but sex on a consistent basis. What is going on here? Part of me wants to completely trust her... I definitely feel she loves me... but just think if she really loved me, she'd do anything to be with me. Cause if she'd dump him, I'd be right there for her... I think it'd be easy to overlook the fact its her brother's best friend, although she does live with her brother. Who cares though, its her life. Maybe she is waiting to have a reason to dump him? I don't know... some advice would be nice... please... Link to post Share on other sites
silentcharon Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 is this a valid excuse? is she just having her cake and eating it too? does she truly love me probably? No, it's not a valid excuse. She's having her cake and eating it too. So she dumped you for the other guy, and now is cheating on him with you? There's a reason why you don't completely trust her, it's because she's cheating on the other guy with you! Just imagine what she's capable of doing if she was dating you, she would cheat on you with someone else as well. That's what your guts are telling you! And you are absolutely right, if she really loved you, she would go through Hell to be with you- nothing would stop her. But she's not with you. The reason why she's still with him, is because you're there for her- she doesn't have to dump him. Why dump him, when she has everything? She's definitely not waiting for a reason to dump him. She's just biding her time till something ends, not by her own hand. I had to deal with a cake-eater- it's not a piece of cake, but you can do it. A cake eater never wants anything to end, so someone else has to end it. In this case, it has to be you, unfortunately. Go NC immediately! Time will tell you where her true priorities lie- if she really does love you, she will dump the other guy to be with you. If not... she never loved you in the first place. NO ONE who truly LOVES you would do this. That's not LOVE. Keep coming back here for support- everyone is great here. Whenever you have the urge to contact her, come here and pour your heart out! Check out the OM/OW & infidelity board, you will find that their situations are no different than ours, the only difference is that marriage is involved and there is more at stake (ie kids houses etc etc). You will also find that the advice is no different than what I am giving you. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
bubbalump Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Shes working you. Would you treat her how she is treating you ? From the sounds of it you really care about her...but take a step back and look at whats going on. She dumped you...got another guy who gives her attention and a new relationship. You stuck around and she sees that she has you wrapped around her little finger. You can tell her how much you wantto be with her, and how much you care for her...and she can say it back. But actions are worth a hell of alot worth more than words...and her actions state she doesnt really care much about you as she is "having her cake and eating it too". My advice, stand up for yourself ... and dont wait on her , and meet a new girl who doesnt have another boyfriend. Good luck man. Link to post Share on other sites
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