I think I'm in love with my best friend - but is he with me - maybe??

[KrZyJLyn]

I think I'm in love with my best friend - but then - I probably have been for a while. Now I have choices, conflicts and confusion. What do I do?

 

Let me summarize:

 

I've known my very best friend for about 10 years (since we were 9 & 10 years old). We met at a camp (where both of our fathers were instructors and so we became Jr. Instructors together) - and that led to the beginning of the world in common, with enough differences to never run out of conversations.

 

We have grown closer than I've ever seen two friends. We have silly games and random memories. It's been an awesome time.

 

He and I have been there for each other through thick and thin. He has eased me through the tough break ups and x-jerks, and I have been there when almost every girl he's ever loved has wronged him.

 

The girl he was with for 4 years was cheating on him for the last 2 of it. They have broken up, but he still loves her. She's all that he seems to talk about... All that seems to be on his mind (her and all of his bands and the music he plays with them).

 

Now, I believe I've almost always had a bit of a crush on him -- at one point we both recalled the moment we met each other. It's kinda funny-- we apparently had the same thought cross our mind "Damn!... I don't have a chance in hell." We didn't find that out until about 5 years into our friendship... when we decided it would be best to just remain best friends... that's something no one can take away from us.

 

Well it's probably been another 5 years since then... and I'm not sure... but I think we both may want to chance it - but aren't sure.

 

About 2 weeks ago he came over my house. We stayed up all night together (that wasn't the part that was different). We started out as always- talking about life, playing video games... and then something happened and I'm really not sure how.

 

We've always been a friendly affectionate - kisses on the cheek, hugs, shoulder & head rubs.... but that night it was different. It was lots of little pecks on the lips... to slow gentile kisses.

 

HIM: "I'm sorry"

ME: "For what?"

HIM: "I like kissing you."

ME: "Don't be, I like it too."

 

The slow and gentile became a sweet make-out session & soft caresses. By now by brain is spinning in pleasure and confusion. He said he wanted to please me - and that I should stop dating jerks - somewhere in the midst of the kisses.

 

I've always loved him - in some way... Even when I knew I couldn't have him. I've always been his best friend... and he was always mine. And we were the only two who never wronged each other.

It was I'll die for you, or go to Jail trying.... and that's how it's always been.

 

I didn't know what to do... I enjoyed the night and the goodbye kiss before he left in the morning.

 

About 3 days later we got to hang out again... and it was similar... but nothing so aw inspiring and shocking. A few sweet kisses is all.

 

The actions speak - but talking to him you would never know anything other than he loves his LoLo (his x). When we talk by day that's all I hear... and I know that she doesn't love him back - and he knows that. I am ok with him still loving her - I was there - I understand why he does... but how does that impact me? Does he want to be with me and is using her as a guard? Is he just expressing what he doesn't want/ know how to say? I dunno - I'm not very good at understanding guys and love at the same time... especially as it relates to me.

 

My biggest concern(s), I suppose, are his happiness - and that our friendship will always be.

 

What do I do?

 

And then, If that wasn't bad enough - I've been swearing off men since the last guy and I broke up (about 3-4 months). All of a sudden - as soon as my best friend starts making out with me - ahhh - like 5 guys seemingly want to date me.

 

I couldn't see my self with any of them for any good period of time - except for one - and he really seems to be everything that a girl wants.

 

Now I'm 98% sure I would chose my best friend if the situation allowed for it - but I'm not sure if it does... and how long do I wait to attempt anything with either of them. argh!!! I'm so confused!!

 

Please help me - what kind of advice can you offer to me?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

And then, If that wasn't bad enough - I've been swearing off men since the last guy and I broke up (about 3-4 months). All of a sudden - as soon as my best friend starts making out with me - ahhh - like 5 guys seemingly want to date me.

 

Somewhere I read that a woman in love was almost irresistable to other men. Something it seems about hormones and the way she has that glow and sheer happiness about her. I think your story is very sweet. I say go for your friend! Good Luck!